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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1378
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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I need help. I have a married friend who has been sooo manipulated

Customer Question

I need help. I have a married friend who has been sooo manipulated that he doesn't see it, she's rotten to him, hurts his feelings, has broken him down 2 no self esteem and a fear that w out her, he would b nothing !! She's manipulated him, her own son, and now she's helping him END any friendships he has, including alienating his family, she does not want them talking, if they do, it's only on spkr phone, w her right There coaching him what to say and how to respond, she uses her son as a pawn, only pays as attention to h if she gets attention, otherwise she wants nothing. To do w him either...the other major factor is that he was sex abused as a child, so manipulation Is not new to him.. I am begging for help, I can't watch Him b destroyed by her, he has been thru enough already...HELP!!! I LOVE hI'm, I can't let her treat him this way anymore...
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 2 years ago.
*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.
Hello, I am sorry that your friend is having this issue and is in this abusive relationship, I can understand how distressing this can possibly be for him and for you to witness. I would like to ask you a few questions to get a better idea of your situation, so that I can better assist you.
1. How long has this man been married to his current partner?
2. Is your friend willing to listen or even entertain the thought of leaving his current partner?
3. I am sure you have discussed the subject of him leaving her in the past, how has he responded to that?
4. And lastly are you willing to accept the possibility that there may be nothing you can do as the choice to leave his partner rests solely on him? You only have control of your own actions, not his, would that be something for you to accept?