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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10643
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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I have a friend who is struggling with depression. I have a

Customer Question

Hi, I have a friend who is struggling with depression. I have a few questions on how I should deal with it. We had just started dating when he daughter and granddaughter moved away. This hit her really hard. We were talking every day and it suddenly stopped. I couldn't get in touch with her for over a week and was very concerned. I had no idea she was having a bout with depression. She finally told me about it and said she would be fine and just needed some time. She eventually came around and we spoke, I thought she was getting better but a week later the talking stopped again. I ran into her at work, when I saw her I asked how she was she said worse than ever and started to cry. I gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek and she said she would call later if she felt up to it. Never called. I care a lot for her and am not sure what I should do. I have left messages saying that I am here and not going anywhere if she needed to talk or needed help with anything, told her she could call or text anytime of the day or night. I try to leave positive text messages daily, sometimes every other day. I don't want to be a pest or become part of the problem. She never responds to my efforts. I'm very patient so I can deal with that. Just looking for some advise on what I should do. Should I do more or less? Thank You!!
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 2 years ago.
This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.
Hello, I believe I may be able to help you with your question. I am very sorry to hear about your friend and her state of depression. I can understand that you want to help, but you cannot push too much as that will only drive her away from you. Right now she knows that she can call you anytime she wants to talk or just vent, so you should leave it at that. But you can definitely continue to send a text or an email here and there with a positive message or just wishing her a good day, etc...These are not very intrusive and you are not pushing her in anyway as you are just reminding her that there is still hope and that you are a positive influence in her life. About once a week, maybe twice a week, you can ask if she wants to go to lunch or dinner, or even a movie sometime to help her escape and distract from this depression, but if she says no you should accept that and just say maybe next time then.
I know this is difficult for you, but remember you are not the cause of her depression, this is something of an internal struggle for her and that means only she will be able to overcome it with proper treatment. You being a supportive figure and a positive influence in her life is the best you can do right now, and so far you are doing great.
I hope this answers your questions and gives you some guidance on this issue. I truly wish your friend all the best and I hope her depressive symptoms lessen very soon. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns as I am happy to assist and support you regarding this issue.
*If you are satisfied with my answer, I would appreciate it if you can provide me with a positive rating so that I can receive credit for helping you today. Thank you
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 2 years ago.
Hello, I was checking in to see if you have any further questions or concerns that you would like me to address on this issue?
If you are satisfied with my answer, I would truly appreciate it if you can take the time and provide me with a positive rating so that I can receive credit for helping you. Thank you