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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1378
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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I have a 35 year old Daughter that has changed in personality

Customer Question

I have a 35 year old Daughter that has changed in personality in the past 6 years drastically since her deforce. she become obsessive with a boyfriend immediately , then she gets hurt by him or something that he has not been truthful about . In about these few years since the devorce it took 5 years and 17,000.00 dollars as well as him stealing their Daughter and us getting her back to make the deforce final. My daughter has gone through three boyfriends since the deforce, all were losers . It was almost three years before she would date again , then she's been bad at choosing men to be with. Her ex- Husband has and still is controlling . They have joint custody but the child lives here with her Mother. Now since she going with another boyfriend and got engaged to him , he has held her child support checks till the end of the month instead of twice a month , she as well as ourselves are finding it hard because she is sending the child to a private school for a better education, with holding these checks its harder to pay the school and throws her behind. We here help her all we can and she has worked but has lost her job in the last few months. She ran out of unemployment and is now getting some help from food stamps. My daughters ex-husband wants to take the child by him . He said its a better school system by his area because she can't go to the private school anymore , she owe them money now . He wants to go to mediation to get the child by him , he says his district is better where he's at . She's giving up the fight and isn't in a right frame of mind . She claims now she's bipolar , has changed and this is how she is now changed . She has changed in her way of thinking and argues with everyone all the time , doesn't spend as much time with her child anymore as she did . I don't know her anymore , she's not the same girl . Now she tells me this guy she's engaged to is bipolar also !! My God , we are going nuts trying to figure this situation . We stand to loose our Grandchild !! I'm a wreck here crying all the time , I helped birth this child in the delivery room . I'm recently diagnosed with end Renal disease failure , I'm trying for a new kidney , in the mean time I can't take the stress I now have to go to get a biopsy on my lung !! Her ex - husband says if I cared for my Grandchild I'd want the best for her , to let him take her . Asked what kind of Grandmother am I to not let her go to a better school district since she's not going to private school anymore he says . I'm crying my eyes out here . This child is my Heart , I love her so much she has been with me most of her life , and my oldest Daughter who is the childs Godmother has been with this child also . We have been her anchor for both of them . I don't know what to do I do go to a therapist once or twice a month but in-between chaos is happening with my Daughter and this man all the time every day . And now this boyfriend who she's engaged to is involved , Her ex hate this guy also , has been checking up on him , and my Daughters ex- who hasn't wanted to see my Son or talk to him in years all of a sudden wants to see my Son and be friends to get him on his side , he goes to my Sons apartment to talk about the situation . Please help me I can't stand this anymore , should I call my therapist how can I stop the harassment , and crying plus this stress I'm having. I'm facing Possible Cancer here , plus loosing my Granddaughter !!! We need advice and help here . Yours truely Katherine Evans.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 2 years ago.
*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.
Hello, I am sorry that you are having this issue with your sons, I can understand how distressing this can possibly be for you. I would like to ask you a couple questions to get a better idea of what you are looking for, so that I can better assist you
1. Remember therapy cannot stop the harassment and the stressors, it can only help you to cope, so has therapy been helpful for you to help you cope with these stressors?
2. Have you considered taking psychotropic medications to help you cope?
3. Are you willing to accept that your grand-daughter may be taken away from you because this is outside of your realm of control?

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