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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1378
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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My son is 25 years old. Till d age of 17 he has been almost

Customer Question

My son is 25 years old. Till d age of 17 he has been almost topping the school. Then cleared CA TPCC(entrance), joined an MNC audit firm as a trainee did well for 2 years & by d age of 20 cleared CA IPCC (inter) but after that he started getting very lazy. From d age of 18 itself v provided TV in his room & he being d only child of ours used 2 feel happy when v go out (in station or out) & started getting very comfortable in his room with tv & other gadgets. Till now he cdnt complete his graduation or CA final. 3/4 years back he convinced his mom (as I was not in favour till he completes his ca) & in turn she convinced me for him 2 start business along with studies. This has totally misfired us as he has neither been working for more than 2 hours a day & doesn't want 2 come out of his comfort zone of his fully gadgeted room. Till 3/4 years I never used 2 discuss about my earnings & assets etc but when he was 2 start business I thought let me share all financial details with him. Till then he never had bothered 2 know our financial strength. He even started asking me (after knowing all details) why r spending with so much stinginess. I feel he started feeling v don't need 2 work hard & our money can survive us thru our life. He wanted me also 2 take my life easy & enjoy & he started doing that for himself. I have been a hard working myself throughout my life. Recently then I left my job (at d peak of my career) so that I can help him. But with some excuse or d other he doesn't want 2 work much. He ends picking up some argument on d small issues & likes 2 b in comfort zoned room. Not able 2 understand how do v motivate him to work more in life. Need your help
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 2 years ago.
*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.
Hello, I am sorry that you are having this issue with your son, I can understand how frustrating this can be for you. I would like to ask you a few questions to get a better idea of what you are looking for, so that I can better assist you
1. Have you tried to get your son to see a therapist who specializes in career planning/counseling?
2. You said you tried to be tough with him, how exactly were you tough?
3. Are you willing to accept that there may be nothing you can do since he is an adult and only he can decide for himself to get motivated and focus on his career and being independent?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
U hv not given d proper answer but asked again questions to get more money. D second debit 2 my card was 2 happen after I get satisfied with d answer .
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 2 years ago.
I asked questions to get more information because I was not sure what exactly you have tried concerning your son and what you are willing to accept as your limitations as a parent since he is an adult. There is no extra money involved in answering follow-up questions.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.
1. I have not taken my son 2 any therapist
2. I have told I can support for max 3 more months & it's all my money he has 2 earn for him at least
3. M willing for that but in India children do listen to d father till start earning. It's nothing 2 do with age