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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10643
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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Y boyfriend hacked my facebook account and phone number

Customer Question

hello y boyfriend hacked my facebook account and phone number because he doesn't trust me..
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 2 years ago.
This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area. Please note that anything said here is not private or confidential, as this is a public forum.
Hello again. I am sorry that your boyfriend hacked into your account and phone like this, I can understand how distressing this can be for you. Was there a reason for him not to trust you or does he basically not trust anyone? Also what exactly is your mental health question concerning this situation?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

can we do chat ?because its a long story..

Expert:  Dr. Z replied 2 years ago.
Unfortunately the chat is no longer a feature on this website at this time, so the Q&A is the only option we have now. Please try to write down as much information as possible with your relevant questions so that I can answer in this format.
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I know this website does not provide treatement but this is an emergency..

i believe he doesn;t trust me because at the begining of the relationshiep i was talking to other guys but i never flirted with them...the cab driver that i had was hitting on me,but i was just answering his messages because that time i really needed him but i told him many times sorry i can not go out with you on dates i have a boyfriend ,my boyfriend found out everything...also other guys were messaging me on facebook,i knew they liked me more then friends but never i flirted with them but for my boyfriend he knew they were hitting on me so even if i was answering them without flirtations he thought it was wrong i said yes you are right it wont happen,he catched me also talking to my cousin everyday and sending hearts i consider him like my little brother but my boyfriend is muslim and in their culture they get married between cousins lol so he can not understand that..

one day also one guy that had like my dads age and i know his wife

hugged me and i was having a conversation with him,hes a little bit flirty but i stayed talking to him only because i was interested in the conversation and did not flirt with him he came hugging me ...

my boyfriend saw him he became so jealous and told me that i am not serious...so basically because all of these he doesnt trust me but he doesnt have the right to hack my account and phone..

this weekend i was supposed to meet up with my girlfriend he said he didnt believe me because he hacked my profile and saw i deleted messages and i dont even have her number but i communicated with her on facebook only because i am not close to her anymore but her sister is my bestfriend.. today we had a huge fight because i know he hacked me and i even know his fake profile,he has a girl picture and what a coincidence they have similar pictures,he likes the same video he showed me once and i saw similar friends on his facebook list and i think its him and he was luying about it...also i noticed at the begining everytime he was liking pictures of girls on facebook i told him to stop,today i saw he was fan of an asian girl i dont know if shes famous but i saw she has some sexy pictures and i got so mad at him i said you know obviously i dont like when you are looking at girls outside obviously i dont like it either when you are fan of them!!!you can look at girls ,you dont have to let me know by liking or becoming fan of them!I also hit him in the car because he hacked me on both my cell phone and facebook thats really crazy and i remember he even called me on facetime saying that a girl is telling him that i am doing stuf ,how crazy is that?

after our huge fight he wrote a long messages telling me that i lied to him and at the end he said goodbye forever but my girlfriend is saying he will comeback..

Expert:  Dr. Z replied 2 years ago.
I am sorry that you are having this issue with your partner, but you never stated what your mental health question was concerning this whole situation?
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

yes i did i said he hacked my facebook account and phone number

Expert:  Dr. Z replied 2 years ago.
That is actually not a question, that is a statement of fact. He hacked your facebook and phone and that is distressing you, but how would you like me to assist you regarding this? Also questions have this symbol "?" at the end of them
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

sorry about that,I just want to talk about this situation this is not really a quesiton but i need advice for that

Expert:  Dr. Z replied 2 years ago.
Well its hard to really answer without a question in this format. All I can say is that this man appears to be very jealous, manipulative, and controlling from what you described as he violated your privacy and then tried to make you jealous through those pictures and being a "fan" of others on facebook. This does not sound like a healthy relationship with mutual respect, so you are going to have to decide if this is the relationship for you or if you should break up and move forward from it.
My goal is to provide you with excellent service, so if you ever have any further questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact me at anytime. If I answered your question satisfactorily I would very much appreciate if you could rate my performance in helping you so that I can get credit for this question. Thank you very much
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

he said he was fan of this girl before our relationshiep ,it is possible

i dont know if shes a singer but it doesnt matter since he knows how i

am very sensitive at him looking at other women ,personally i wouldn't do that i stopped talking to a lot of guys i lost my cousin for him

i really did sacrifice a lot ,all i ask for is respect and i want him

to stop doing the things i dont like ,i think if the parter doesn't like what

we're doing (i am talking about small things like that) we should just stop doing that,also he's obsessed with me he contacts me too many times

sometimes and even if i dont wanna answer i will still answer to show him that i do care ,i told him so many times if you dont trust me then i am not the right girl for you ...he stayed and today he made me really agressive and realy i am thinking if i should stay or break up (in the case he comeback) ,the problem is if he continues lyuing i dont think i can stay with him for me being honest is really important for trust

Expert:  Dr. Z replied 2 years ago.
It sounds like he is a very controlling and insecure person by contacting you all the time and checking your accounts to see what you are doing, which is an invasion of privacy. Only he can decide to stop that behavior and if you feel he will not stop than you should consider ending the relationship.
My goal is to provide you with excellent service, so if you ever have any further questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact me at anytime. If I answered your question satisfactorily I would very much appreciate if you could rate my performance in helping you so that I can get credit for this question. Thank you very much
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

he broke my trust today,if he ever comeback (because im not gonna chase him after what he did to me ) i am not gonna lie,i did mistakes

and he was right in one thing if i saw someone flirting with me i should have just left but i told him it wont happen again...also he asked me to block a guy who liked me

but the reason why i didnt block him is because he was my cousin's cousin and he didn't flirt with me again after i asked him to stop...

really i never kissed or slept with another guy ,all i did is

one day i was having a conversation with a guy and my boyfriend hurt me that day i forgot myself and stayed 5 extra minutes because we were having a long conversation then said excuse me i gotta go

maybe when he hacked my phone he also saw that a guy sent me hugs but i dont remember flirting back except i asnwered one guy's text at midnight but i was just being polite but after i realized its not nice for my boyfriend...

anyway ia m not perfect i did mistakes but if he doesnt trust me he shoudn't not be doing that ALL the time i told him today that hacking is very very bad,he violated all of my privacy

this is my decision:im gonna talk to him one more time if he wont tell me the truth and denie that the other facebook profile is not him i think it will be over ,he should also promise me he wont like or be fan of any other girl even beyonce i just dont care because all of these girls have sexy pictures okay maybe not beyonce shes obviously more classy...

but do you think i am right for that decision?

Expert:  Dr. Z replied 2 years ago.
I think having him tell you the truth is the right approach and if you do not want him (or any boyfriend) to be a fan of other women then that is a choice you and your partner must make together. If he will not comply with this than you may have to end the relationship.
My goal is to provide you with excellent service, so if you ever have any further questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact me at anytime. If I answered your question satisfactorily I would very much appreciate if you could rate my performance in helping you so that I can get credit for this question. Thank you very much
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

this is my last message...

the reason why i dont want him to be fan of these girls (even singer)

is because i have an anxiety disorder ,these girls post very sexy pictures

of themselves ,i dont like my partner looking at other women even virtually unless he keeps for himself no need to ''like'' or be fan ots just not nice for the girlfriend...i dont know why but women are sensitive to that in general ...also because for me its like hes being a hypocrite

i know he doesnt like when i look at other men in the street and also doesn't like when other guys look at me,one day i was wearing a shirt that showed cleavage he got jealous he said you go like that outside?

so he has to stop being a hypocrite...jealous boyfriends like him shouldnt not be doing that,because i can do that too i can go on my facebook and become fan of guys shirtless really its not difficult...

of course he denied that too and really i dont know how i can trust him again and know when he tells the truth or no...

its true that i was really agressive with him today but he denied everything ...

and the problem that he doesnt understand is that i have anxiety,images pop up in my brain out of no where ...

he used to like everything even the most stupid stuff,but when one day he liked of a girl wearing sexy clothes seating on a bed and i saw before our relationshiep he sent her a heart and one day i saw she tagged him and a lot of people on a picture that was really weird with a naked women

he blocked her and told me its a habit he likes everything and its true but i was not sure about her picture but he always likes her picture and other peoples pictures even a conservative girl he was liking her pictures i found this habit pretty weird,he said he never cheated he just sent her a heart before our realtionshiep like that and he also sent hearts to his friends but i dont know what to think about that and it was in the begining

-but i told him to stop at like the end of jannuary and he still liked one picture of a girl normal looking not wearing revealing clothes and i yelled at him and told him i wont talk to him anymore if that happenedbut he didnt do it again except staying fan of this asian girl,he said

that he swears never cheated and that i can check his phone

and he can give me my passwords...i just think even for small things

it can be bad if he does them again it basically says he has no respect for me..

thank you for your answer i appreciate the help

have a goodnight

Expert:  Dr. Z replied 2 years ago.
Either you both do not flirt, see pictures of the opposite sex that can be "risque," and basically not to converse with any one from the opposite sex that may have an attraction to either of you, or you both can trust each other and despite if someone flirts with you, he will trust you not to flirt back or if you dress with something low-cut or provocative, he will trust you that nothing will happen. And the same goes for you that if he "fans" a professional singer and she may have "sexy" pictures, nothing will come of it. So both have to take either approach of stopping all "sexy" clothing, flirting, talking to others, pictures, etc...or you both trust each other that no matter what you do it will not take away from the relationship. Your anxiety disorder also causes you to not trust him and his insecurity causes him to not trust you, so either you both live with that and push everyone away or you both work on your psychological issues and focus on what is important. The choice is up to both of you. I wish you both all the best and I hope you both can move forward from this.
My goal is to provide you with excellent service, so if you ever have any further questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact me at anytime. If I answered your question satisfactorily I would very much appreciate if you could rate my performance in helping you so that I can get credit for this question. Thank you very much
Customer: replied 2 years ago.

I just wanna answer your last post:

-as for looking at girls in the street i dont like it ,but if a mistakes happens

its not big deal for me (i am talking about glancing or 3 seconds maximum) because if he looks more then that then its not accidental but his choice...but for virtual pictures i can not accept that,it is definitely because of my anxiety but also because he did it too much he liked too much pictures of girls to the point i just hate it...

i know he would not like me wearing short shorts or shirts with low cut so i dont do that anymore because his happiness is more important then me wearing sexy clothes,in my opinion someone so jealous about their partner should not be doing those things otherwise i will do the same and our relationshiep will end..

the problem i dont know if hes willing to change,beause of my anxiety i was always scared he looks at other women i even accused him and he didnt because basically once he looked at a women like she was angel and he turned his head it was really weird on the first date ,so i dont know im scared sometimes..i said i should go see a psychologist he said he wants to come with me i said no i wanna go alone he insists...

i really thought he loves me because hes so obsessed and drives 40 minutes all the time to see me even for 15 min i thought that was really love but i dont know

anyway have a goodnight

and thanks for hearing me out

Expert:  Dr. Z replied 2 years ago.
If you are willing to accommodate him with his jealousy issues than he should accommodate you with your anxiety issues as that is fair and a line you both have drawn in the relationship. Hopefully he will follow through, but if not than you may have to end the relationship. Good night and I wish you all the best
My goal is to provide you with excellent service, so if you ever have any further questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact me at anytime. If I answered your question satisfactorily I would very much appreciate if you could rate my performance in helping you so that I can get credit for this question. Thank you very much