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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1379
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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I need an answer to why people around me seem to think it is

Customer Question

I need an answer to why people around me seem to think it is alright to say things that hurt me. It's as if they get pleasure making me feel sad. This started when I was younger than most people can even remember but I recall my Grandmother on my Dad's
side hating me and saying ugly things to others about me. My Mother was distant and made fun of things about me embarrassing me but not caring. Later in life she told lies about me to others making them think I was this horrible person that abused HER. I never
did. One thing that was instilled in me was to respect my Mother and that and disrespecting God were the only things my Dad (who adored her) punished me for. At a very young age I married a guy who I thought I was in love with. After 30 years of abuse from
him (I was told I couldn't divorce him because I had made my bed and I had to ly in it) he found his "soul mate" and stripped me and our two young boys of everything; our home; our finances; any emotional support and security we had and married her however
he told others (people who had known me for years and years) I had done everything to HIM that he actually had done to me AND they believed him. Now I am and have been a very shy type of person and my goal has always been to live a life glorifying the Lord.
My main desire was peace in the home and family which I had little to none of. Anyway onward to my ex (after the divorce) did everything he could to keep me from having a life and told me he was doing so... prospective employers told me that as well that he
had visited them and told stories well, needless to say, I was unable to get a job to support us. In comes my knight in shining armor who came to the house (he had been a dear friend from about 2 years at this point) packed us up and took us to his home. What
was to be a short stay turned into 24 plus years with us eventually living as a married couple. He was and usually is now the perfect gentleman however this past week he seems to have changed and his common moodiness has turned to calling me ugly names. This
is difficult for me to deal with. I have no resources to live separate nor a desire to do so however it has occurred to me this all must be MY fault...something I am doing consciously or unconsciously to cause abusive behavior toward me. Is it possible this
is what is happening. If so perhaps you have a background of information that might explain it and show me how to reverse this. I am not a young woman anymore. I do not want to live out my life having this happen.
Submitted: 2 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Camille-Mod replied 2 years ago.
Hello, I'm Camille and I’m a moderator for this topic. We have been working with the Experts to try to help you with your question. Sometimes it may take a bit of time to find the right fit. I was checking to see if you had already found your answer or if you still needing assistance from one of our Experts? Please let me know if you wish to continue waiting or if you would like for us to close your question. Also remember that JustAnswer has a multitude of categories to help you with all your needs from Pet to Legal. Thank you, Camille~Moderator