Thank you for writing to us today. Please note the info I provide you does not constitute treatment nor replace a local professional's evaluation.
Hi, my name is ***** ***** I'd like ton try to help. Your requested professional is not available at this time.
I am sorry to hear you are so conflicted about that to do regarding confessing to your wife that you did
something that she will not be happy with. As you state, honesty in a relationship is very important but in this case, I am not sure the disclosure is worth the hurt it may cause. Really, you would be putting the need to resolve your guilt above her feelings and this may not be fair.
I would advise you think about the reasons that you want to share this with your wife. If the only reason is resolution of your guilt and to maintain honesty, then you may wish to proceed and tell her. You would also want to make sure you are prepared to tell her why you understand that this behavior was wrong, that you understand it was a breach of trust, and that you will not allow such an incident to interfere again. Also, if you ware worried she will ultimately find this information out second hand, then being upfront with her is very important.
On the other hand, if you decide that resolution of your guilt does not justify the pain that this might cause her, then I would suggest you just consider this a lesson learned because you have caused yourself a lot of internal struggle. Chances are the guilt you are feeling will fade but the lesson you learned should remain and this may be enough to help ensure you will modify your future behavior without causing undue stress
on your relationship at this time.
In summary, I am not sure that this disclosure is a good idea at this time because it is mostly your guilt driving the decision. While honesty in relationships is important, so too is tactful consideration of how certain things may affect your partner and if they really need to know. I also am not sure you breached any serious boundaries that would require the disclosure. and really, your actions were predominantly innocent.
I hope this helps direct your thinking about what to do and am more than happy to continue to help think this through.