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My 11 son is in counseling for him dad sexually abusing him.

He keeps crying and asking...
My 11 son is in counseling for him dad sexually abusing him. He keeps crying and asking me if the pain goes away. What should I tell him?we are still in court and his dad will not admit to doing this. Can he go to jail even if he doesn't admit. My son is so detailed!?
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Answered in 5 minutes by:
11/11/2013
Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10,643
Experience: Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
Verified
Dr. Z :

Hello

Dr. Z :

I believe I can help you with your concern

Dr. Z :

I am so sorry that your son experienced this sexual abuse from his father, I can imagine how hurt and distressed he is and you are as well

Dr. Z :

Since he is in counseling, that is great, and the pain will eventually go away, but it does take time as childhood abuse is very tough on a psychological level to treat, but the symptoms do go away with the right treatment

Dr. Z :

In my own practice I do pro-bono work counseling victims of abuse, and I always tell them this will be a long process, but during the therapy they will slowly see a lessening of symptoms and a greater control of these symptoms.

Dr. Z :

Also I tell them that after the therapeutic process they will actually be stronger than before on an emotional/psychological level, but it will take time to get there. And what you can say as his parent is that you will be with him every step on that journey too, so that he is never alone.

Dr. Z :

You want to encourage your son that everyone is there to help him and that he can rely on anybody no matter what, this will help him realize that his is not alone

Dr. Z :

Also tell him that nothing was his fault and that his father chose to hurt him, your son did not choose this for himself. But this will not define your son either as he will overcome this.

Dr. Z :

So by speaking positively and objectively will help your son realize that the pain will go away and this will get better, but it does take time and that he can rely on you and his therapist as well.

Dr. Z :

Does that make sense so far or would you like me to proceed about this father and the possibility of going to jail?

Customer: This so good to hear. Brings peace to my heart as his mom. Please proceed
Dr. Z :

As a Forensic Psychologist, I regularly do assessments on children that have been abused and have testified in a number of cases, so I have some intricate knowledge regarding this. The goal for a successful trial is evidence. If your son is very detailed and sticks to that story, and his therapist believes it, than that is strong evidence to go to trial. Physical evidence would also be helpful showing evidence of sexual abuse as well, like contusions, or tearing. The police will also investigate if there have been any past cases of possible abuse committed by his father for other children or adults. So if all of this evidence comes back in your favor, then most likely a trial will happen and he can be convicted.

Dr. Z :

It does not matter if he admits or not, all that matters is the victim, your son, and the evidence to support the complaint of sexual abuse.

Dr. Z :

I have seen many cases with just circumstantial evidence go to trial and have a successful conviction because of how detailed and unchanged the child's story of events was.

Dr. Z :

So typically if a conviction occurs, his father could go to jail for around 10-25 years depending on what state you live in

Customer: I live in Il. His therapist believes him. My son is very consistent. He also said his to little sister were abused but, the 6 and 9 year old have not spoken out about it and his wife is standing behind her husband. Once again..my son talks about his dad stick his penis in the 9 year old vagina about an inch deep.
Dr. Z :

Well if it is in the state's interest, and it is here, they can compel the 9 year old girl to be submitted to a vaginal exam to see if any sexual intercourse occurred and that will back up your son's story of events, and likely lead to a conviction

Customer: Were is your office? Can a psych test and lie detector test reveal his pediphilia issue. Or is it true he pass them?
Dr. Z :

Lie detector tests are not admissible in court, so they cannot be used and also they are not very accurate at all because the test just measures physiological reactions that can happen when you lie, so it is not detecting lying at all. And stress and anxiety can cause these physiological reactions too, leading to a lot of false positive results. My practice is in California, and yes there are some psychological assessments that can show possible pedophilia issues and lying as well.

Customer: The courts are trying to keep the girls out of it ( which I feel so sad for them). However, bio dad has to show girls had an exam.. Which it was a school exam external examination and Dr. said the girls were fine! What the! No internal exam. This is scary.. Mothers worst nightmare.
Dr. Z :

I am so sorry, the examination should have been done by a child forensic psychologist hired by the state if it was to be valid, because forensic psychologists know the right questions to ask

Dr. Z :

While I understand the punishment that should happen to his father, the important thing here is to focus on your son's treatment and make sure that he can overcome this and he can with the right treatment and your support

Dr. Z :

The system is not perfect and the burden of proof is on the prosecution unfortunately and sometimes they do not have enough evidence, but that does not mean your son is left to suffer. He will overcome this and will show his father nothing will bring him down indefinitely and your son will get stronger from his therapy

Customer: But he can still go to jail just based on the consistency of my son then from what I read from you. Girls will come out when they are ready. Thanks!
Dr. Z :

Yes it is very possible that he can go to prison based on what your son stated and with the backing from your son's therapist too

Dr. Z :

When the girls are ready they will tell the truth too I hope, but right now I think the girls are afraid and they are victims too

Dr. Z :

Is there anything else I can assist you with tonight?

Dr. Z :

I would also like to recommend this book as well for you to help your son heal from this

Customer: No this was great to have someone who understands anc has knowledge in this area. Thank u for helpful heart
Dr. Z :

Anytime, I am happy that I was able to help you tonight. I wish you and your son the best, ***** ***** hope he heals swiftly from this trauma. My goal is to provide you with excellent service, so if you ever have any further questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact me at anytime. Before you sign off though, I would very much appreciate if you could rate my performance in helping you so that I can get credit for this question. Thank you very much

Dr. Z :

Hello the system alerted me that you are still online, was there something else I can assist you with?

Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10,643
Experience: Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
Verified
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Dr. Z
Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10,643
10,643 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.

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