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I'm uncertain if You're working tonight,however I wanted to

Hello there! I'm uncertain if...

Hello there! I'm uncertain if You're working tonight,however I wanted to introduce myself to you. I was going to a counselor, however due to insurances she was forces to close her practice. She was incredible and I could talk to her about anything. I need to find someone like that again. I'm hoping that's you! Michelle

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Answered in 2 hours by:
11/10/2013
Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5,334
Experience: Dr. Mark is a PhD in psychology in private practice
Verified
Dr. Mark :

Hi, Michelle! I'll be glad to help you with this issue.

Dr. Mark :

The system says you went offline, so I'll wait for you to get back, okay?

Dr. Mark :

Hi. If you type a hello, then I'll know you're here.

Customer:

I'm online. I have most of my issues at work, but of course thank G-d it's Saturday!

Customer:

I have some health issues and I had issues with my fiance. I am overweight and want to have a gastic bypass

Customer:

not sure if I can

Dr. Mark :

You said you're looking for a new therapist. Is this online? By Skype?

Customer:

Not sure...all I know if I dont have one. I'm quite partial to chatting

Customer:

I know chatting is hard because of lack of voice inflecition

Dr. Mark :

So, you'd like to have an ongoing internet therapy?

Customer:

I have to be honest., I've never had a male therapist. It doesn't bother me, I've have never had a male.

Customer:

yes

Dr. Mark :

Well, hello then!

Customer:

an on going internet therapy

Customer:

the last therapist I had locally was so great

Customer:

she was forces to close her practive because of insurance

Dr. Mark :

Okay. We can chat here for a while. This forum is not meant for a very long chat; it's based on a question/answer premise. But we can be on for a while, enough

Dr. Mark :

for you to see if you want to explore online therapy

Customer:

ok

Dr. Mark :

or if you'd like me to share some directories with you for finding another local therapist.

Dr. Mark :

Or would you like to just find a local therapist to continue your work face to face?

Customer:

It's very hard to click with someone

Customer:

I want to find it here

Customer:

online

Customer:

is it generally skype

Dr. Mark :

Well, then, let's get started.

Customer:

ok

Dr. Mark :

You have a few options here. We can work together via our site called pearl.therapi.com. for example

Dr. Mark :

the link to me there is

https://pearl.etherapi.com/connectme/168

Customer:

Is it like a video chat

Dr. Mark :

and there you will have a few options on how to work with me. Skype is a good option, or we can also chat, similar to here.

Dr. Mark :

You know, after we finish our chat here, you can click the link and just explore, okay?

Customer:

For now chat is good because my boyfriend is here. Plus you can hear my backgrough

Dr. Mark :

And then, you can always reach me back here as well in this format.

Dr. Mark :

So, let's get started: share with me what you'd like while we're in this chat, okay?

Customer:

i didn't even know this format was on here

Dr. Mark :

What do you mean?

Customer:

I am new to this and didn't know chat was an option

Dr. Mark :

Well, it's based on you asking a specific question, because it's not meant for an extended chat; that's why it can be such a low price. Does that make sense?

Customer:

yeah....I have the free anyway with a monthly price

Dr. Mark :

Right, and because in mental health people want to often ask a follow up question, they regulate it: you only get that free question once per month, so here we are!

Dr. Mark :

Go ahead, share with me why you've been in counseling and we'll try to make the best use of this time, okay?

Customer:

ahhh I see

Customer:

Lots of reasons....low selt esteem, many bad relationships. Mom passed away three years ago...hit me VERY hard BAD issues with my daughter. My BF just got out of REHAB.

Customer:

Ihate my job I hate my body. I feed my emotions

Customer:

My sister and I had a relationship until my Mom died.

Customer:

My 81 year old Dad hardly talks to me now since my Sis moved to Florida to take care of him

Dr. Mark :

I see you're typing, so I'll wait

Customer:

I was with Mom when she dies and my sis wasn't do I think this is payback

Dr. Mark :

This is a lot that you're trying to sort out. I see what you mean that you eat emotionally.

Customer:

sorry, there's just years of things. I can't be around drinkers...I was abused m=by Exs that were. That's why my BF went to REHAB he had to if he wanted me. I was raped at 16. I was married 4 times and I still believe my prince charming is out there.I wont allow anyone to tell my that there isnt

Dr. Mark :

It's clear that there are a lot of emotions flooding you

Customer:

I have terrible anxiety. I am on Cymbalta and Lamectal

Customer:

Klonopin bedtim and when i need it day time

Dr. Mark :

Have you been treated for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)?

Customer:

I love chuck and we want to get married but I'm scared so we're waiting

Customer:

no just depressioin. I go to a phychiatrist. I cry everyday at work because they bully me. I'm hard or hearing and they tell me that i'm too loud and i can't help it

Dr. Mark :

I am concerned that you have been treated for depression as if it's independent of your rape

Customer:

I have asthma, aleep apnea (prob weight induced)\

Dr. Mark :

and I'm also concerned that there has been no linkage made between your hanging on to abusive men and the trauma you suffered. What do you think?

Customer:

it was so long ago I dont even think about it anymore. I've been to therapy for that and I'm ok with that really

Customer:

that i've been told. The men I tend to go for are abusive to some degree. Chuck isn't . He was verbal when drunk but now that hes sober he treats me like a princess

Customer:

I am afraid a lot that the other shoe will drop though. I used tohave toplay detective where he was hiding the booze . He smelled like it and would lie all the time

Customer:

so far everything has been great

Customer:

hes been clean since Sept 27

Customer:

I'm sorry, I'm longwinded

Dr. Mark :

That's fine, it's not longwinded, really.

Customer:

I still can't wrap my head around the fact that my Mom is gone too

Dr. Mark :

I understand that you've had treatment long ago for the rape, but emotions seem very overwhelming to you, is that true?

Customer:

3 years...its getting a bitbetter. I have good memories finally but i found her gone so it was so hard to think of anythng else

Dr. Mark :

So, being emotionally overwhelmed hasn't been your whole adult life, just recently because of your mom?

Customer:

No, really it's been a lot of my life. Mom and Dad got divorced whe I was 13. That was hard too. Dad was cheating on Mom for years. Dad was pretty abusive to todays standards.

Customer:

ALWAYS low self-esteem

Customer:

left home at 19. Always though sex was the only way to keepa guy

Dr. Mark :

Yes. Now let's focus on the emotional overwhelm here for today, okay?

Customer:

embarrassing talking about this to a man

Dr. Mark :

Because you are describing very classic symptoms.

Customer:

ok

Dr. Mark :

You know, I've had so many people share so much of their lives with me,

Dr. Mark :

it's a question of whether it's too uncomfortable for you.

Dr. Mark :

But my sense is

Dr. Mark :

that your "depression" is not really what is at the heart here.

Dr. Mark :

Your relationship with your own emotions has been very difficult and not healthy, if I can use such a phrase. Does it make sense phrasing it that way?

Customer:

people have relationships with their own emotions?

Customer:

Ot am I not understanding?

Dr. Mark :

Right!

Dr. Mark :

For example, your relationship with your emotions is very conflicted.

Dr. Mark :

Sometimes you try to push them down,

Dr. Mark :

sometimes you can. And they leave you in peace for a little while.

Dr. Mark :

Sometimes you can't and they overwhelm you.

Dr. Mark :

When someone, like Chuck, is treating you nicely, then you can relax for a little while.

Customer:

I;m a very outgoing bubbly personat work...well whenpeple aren't making me feel like shit...oh can I swear here?

Dr. Mark :

But otherwise, you're in a continual battle with your own feelings.

Dr. Mark :

Right. When we are very dependent on other people to make us feel good,

Dr. Mark :

then we are always at their "whim" because we've given them power to make us feel bad about ourselves very easily.

Dr. Mark :

Agreed?

Customer:

Yes true. I do depend on others to make me feel good. I've beentold that. That;s why I enjoy havpng a man in my life although I do love Chuck and boy is he handy

Customer:

LOL

Dr. Mark :

Right.

Dr. Mark :

That's what I mean that my concern is that depression is not the basis of the problem.

Dr. Mark :

My concern is that you are not comfortable with your own "self", with your own emotions.

Dr. Mark :

And regulating your emotions is tough for you.

Dr. Mark :

And you therefore rely on other people's behavior toward you

Dr. Mark :

to regulate your feelings about yourself. Does that make sense/

Dr. Mark :

I'm sorry, sense?

Customer:

People generally like me...especially the technicians (the lower ranked folks) at work. I get a lot of awards and thanks fro them

Dr. Mark :

That's beautiful. What therapy's goal could be for you, though, is for you to like yourself, not just the technicians liking you. For you to like yourself. What do you think?

Customer:

yeah and when Chuck was in

Customer:

REHAB, I was feeling ver independent and happy and I was liking me

Customer:

I dont think it has to do with chuck though

Customer:

I really hate my jobthey make me feel bad abut me and I hate NY

Customer:

I feel best about myself when I accomplish things

Dr. Mark :

So that would be my recommendation for therapy.

Dr. Mark :

Working on learning to actually LIKE yourself!

Dr. Mark :

Maybe even feel good about yourself without having it based on accomplishing anything

Dr. Mark :

but just being YOU.

Dr. Mark :

What do you think?

Customer:

I can try

Dr. Mark :

I wonder, though, if finding a therapist to work with locally wouldn't be best?

Dr. Mark :

What do you think?

Customer:

maybe

Dr. Mark :

If not, I'd think working via Skype would be better than internet chat like this.

Customer:

where are you

Customer:

skype is ok ive done it

Dr. Mark :

I'm in Denver.

Dr. Mark :

The link I gave you,

https://pearl.etherapi.com/connectme/168


Dr. Mark :

has Skype as an option.

Customer:

Wow...far. I love colorado!

Customer:

is that separate money

Dr. Mark :

Well, we need to close up here. But again, the key, from everything you've told me is not a "mood" like depression or anxiety. Those are coming from your insecurity and most importantly, from your not feeling positive about yourself. Which makes you super sensitive to things other people do. ]

Dr. Mark :

And yes,

Dr. Mark :

any therapy would not be part of this site's subscription.

Dr. Mark :

But, what do you think of my suggestion for the focus for your next round of therapy?

Customer:

oy I can't afford any more money

Dr. Mark :

So, then, you're not ready to find a therapist in NY either, then, right?

Customer:

I have insurance

Dr. Mark :

Good. Then you need to find someone in NY.

Customer:

yes I do

Dr. Mark :

But when you do, maybe you can print out some of what we've written?

Dr. Mark :

And use it to begin your new therapy?

Customer:

ok

Dr. Mark :

What do you think?

Customer:

ok

Customer:

Thank you Mark, Have a good night

Dr. Mark :

Okay, I wish you the very best!

My goal is for you to feel like you've gotten Great Service from me and the site. If we need to continue the discussion for that to happen, then please feel free to reply and we'll continue working on this. If the answer has given you the help you need, please remember to give a rating of 5 (Great Service) or 4 (Informative and helpful), or even 3 (Got the job done) button. This will make sure that I am credited for the answer and you are not charged anything more than the deposit you already made by pressing any of these buttons. Bonuses are always appreciated! If I can be of further help with any issue now or in the future, just put "For Dr. Mark" in the front of your new question, and I'll be the one to answer it. All the best, ***** *****

Customer:

ok, thank you so much for your help

Dr. Mark :

And you can always ask another question (though if it's within a month you'll have to pay separately) and write "for Dr. Mark", okay? If you could give a positive rating before you leave, I'd be grateful.

Dr. Mark :

All the best, ***** *****

Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5,334
Experience: Dr. Mark is a PhD in psychology in private practice
Verified
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Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5,334
5,334 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Dr. Mark is a PhD in psychology in private practice

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Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

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