I do remember you actually, and its okay about being redundant you just want to make sure. First off those online tests are a joke and should never be taken seriously ever. Anyone who ever tells you that the online tests are a good diagnostic tool for personality or intelligence do not know what they are talking about. The best personality tests that can help determine, along with clinical judgment, if you have BPD are the Personality Assessment Inventory (PAI) and the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory Second Edition (MMPI-2), which should only be done by a trained psychologists with experience in assessments. With BPD actually your mood swings would not be from high to low, the mood swings are typically of negative emotions between anger, anxiety
, depression, etc…Now I remember discussing your case and I felt that you fit more the category of Complex PTSD given your childhood history and I still feel that is a better fit diagnosis then BPD at this time. The hitting yourself in the past was infrequent, and could be a result from stress
, and with no suicide attempts leads me away from the BPD diagnosis as this is a predominant feature of BPD. The fear of abandonment and failed relationships can also be accounted by the childhood abuse and neglect, as these are common features in Complex PTSD from this type of childhood trauma. So I still believe that the Complex PTSD is a better fit, but if puts your mind at ease the treatment for Complex PTSD and BPD are very similar with similar medications (often mood stabilizers) and similar therapies (CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy)). So if you go into treatment for this, you should see a lessening of your symptoms. I hope this helps to answer your questions, if you need anything else please feel free to contact me again at anytime. Also here are a couple good self-help websites on CBT and DBT as well for you to look at.