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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10643
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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Anxious & Peru

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Anxious & Peru
Dr. Z :

Hello again, whats new?

Customer:

Hi thanks for taking my request.. so yesterday she txt me it was later like around 8

Dr. Z :

Well that is good that she texted you

Customer:

and she told me she has just woken up.. that she still had the hedache and it was worst

Customer:

so I asked can I come over and spend the nite she say.. spend the nite no, I hv a hedache and I don't want to make it worse w u staying the night , up to u if you want to come by

Customer:

so I asked "How so me making it worse?"

Customer:

she say because I will want to be intimate and us argue, that she was moody because of the hedache and dint want to make me mad,

Customer:

so I say my intentions are not to get intimate or to argue, but to be with you, I understand you don't feel good babe. you need anything.?

Dr. Z :

And how did she respond when you said that?

Customer:

seem like no big deal.. her txt reads " soup maybe plz"

Customer:

so I got her soup and we talk and chill for a bit, I she held my hand while watching tv and I left, gave her a kiss gnight and left

Customer:

later I txt gnight and she say g night I love u so I say I love u 2

Customer:

I say I miss you and she say miss you too (on txt) she satring back with calling me honey

Dr. Z :

So sometimes she is irritable and jumps to conclusions which causes you to feel bad, but you show her that you are not the same guy and that you are making an effort to be more supportive for her, which is good and she also makes an effort by holding your hand saying she loves you

Customer:

so today we txt .. she just takes a long ass time to answer back.. and she ask if I can watch the dogs I say yes..

Customer:

she never show up and I called her no answer.. so she text she was running late and did not had time to drop the dogs off and she left to wrok..

Customer:

My mind has been triggering .. is she working? I send her a msg "hows work" no answer

Customer:

I wanted to go and check to see if her car is there, but I came back,, I was at the movies trying to get sm distraction but my mind triggers ..is she really at wrk?

Dr. Z :

I understand that you think that, but you should be very proud of yourself that you did not let those negative thoughts take control and actually drive over there to check on her, this is a positive step for you

Customer:

thanks .. hard man..

Customer:

My mind stared racing with ideas.. "what if"

Customer:

I think I like her more when she is going to be on her days man lol she seems better

Customer:

haha

Dr. Z :

Well I definitely think her irritability will be less when she goes back to days. I know that it is hard, but you have to focus on the progress and the steps you have been making, which are very positive so far. You did not give into the "What If" and this very encouraging for you and shows you are committed to change and let this anxiety/insecurity take ahold of you

Customer:

I see..
like I want to go, but I rather go to sleep now. I see my new psic tomorrow early... he want me to write down my problems and stuff

Dr. Z :

That is a standard procedure to write down issues and goals for first meeting with a psychologist/therapist

Customer:

I like that she takes the initiative to say "I love u " without me saying it first, does that make sense?

Dr. Z :

I know that you want to go there right now, but do not give in to that negative thought

Dr. Z :

Yes it does, it is good to see that she is taking the initiative and shows that she means it more when she says it first and not a generic response when you say it

Dr. Z :

Every couple likes when there is a mix of initiative with saying "I love you," so what you are feeling is natural

Customer:

I see..
today was kind of vauge when we txt .. she told me she was getting things ready so I ask "Things" and then she asked me to watch the dogs.. that why I was... ??? confused.. and my mind stared racing.. now I did ask "hows work" and she has not responded, so my mind is thinking, if I go and shes not there.. I confront her and she is going to say why I went to check on her, she never told me or answer me that she in deed was "at work" do you follo?

Dr. Z :

I understand what you are saying, but even if her car is at work you can rationalize that maybe she left in another car, you see it will never end. Besides she has stated she has been busy at work and maybe that is why she has not responded to your text, and she has not answered your texts while at work for a long period of time before too.

Customer:

yeah.. I tought abput that.. but I don't think she will leave her car there honestly.. the other part I can see

Dr. Z :

I know, but they you can just rationalize that maybe she just got back, with negative thoughts it will just compound and you will always look for a negative reason for a situation. Instead just admit to yourself that she cares for you and that she is just very stressed at work and does not have time to answer her text, which is the more objective thought

Customer:

oh I think I just got what u where trying to say here



"I understand what you are saying, but even if her car is at work you can rationalize that maybe she left in another car, you see it will never end"


Customer:

basically I will find another excuse to think a negative thing right?

Dr. Z :

Exactly, that is what I am saying. These are how negative thoughts work and so far you have been doing a great job stopping that thought process so keep continuing with that

Customer:

Got it I just read your previos msg, I was writing when u send it

Dr. Z :

No worries, I just wanted to emphasize it :)

Customer:

cool..
is there anything that u had notice in me that I should tell my psic tomorrow?

Customer:

obiously.. I hv trust issues and anxious

Dr. Z :

Not really, I think since we have started chatting you have gained great insight on your behaviors, trust issues, and negative thought process so I think that is what you should focus on with your new therapists

Customer:

will do.
Im going to bed, hv to be up early tomorrow.
so you think her doing those things she did last night is a good sign? seems that she thinks all I want is intimacy and arguments, I will like to change that mentality

Customer:

but I do miss the intimacy

Customer:

:)

Dr. Z :

I think she thinks this is the old you that just wants is intimacy and arguments, but I think she is noticing that you have changed recently and making an effort to be more supportive of her. I know you miss the intimacy, but hopefully when she starts working days and her headaches go away then you both can resume sexual intercourse again. I think last night was a positive sign for both of you.

Dr. Z :

I hope everything goes well tomorrow with the new therapist, let me know if you have any questions or concerns at all

Customer:

I will, and will still keep u post it sometime this week.
God bless you

Customer:

your Awesome

Dr. Z :

Good, God bless you as well :)

Dr. Z :

Thank you for the compliment, I truly appreciate it

Dr. Z :

You are doing great, keep it up :)

Customer:

:D thanks man!

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