Mental Health

Have Mental Health Questions? Ask a Psychiatrist Online

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Mental Health
This answer was rated:

I have 3 children ages 11, 8, and 6. I have been divorced

for 2 yrs and separated...
I have 3 children ages 11, 8, and 6. I have been divorced for 2 yrs and separated for 4yrs. Kids are with me full time and I have sole legal and physical custody of my kids. My ex lives in a different country and comes around once in a while to see kids but he does call the kids 2 to 3 times a week to speak to them. I recently discovered he got married a few months back and he hasn't told the children yet. His family that does live here in the States is having a big gathering and they would like me to leave kids with them for a few days. I usually have no problem for those are their Aunts, Uncles, Cousins and what not but now I am worried kids will find out from his family rather than him. I have not told them because I feel it is his job. From the separation to the divorce I have been the only one explaining to the kids whats been going on with no help on his part. My main questions are should I let kids attend this gathering where im sure they will find out about their fathers wedding and how everyone attended expect them. Second should I tell the children or I am right for feeling like he should tell them. I'm tired of being the bearer of bad news.....I'm stuck please help.
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Answered in 1 minute by:
10/3/2013
RealSupport
RealSupport, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3,191
Experience: MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
Verified
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am very sorry to know about this very sad and frustrating situation.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

It seems he has been in touch with your children via phone on a regular basis for this long, but has avoided letting them know something so important that should have not been kept secret from them.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Your fears and concerns are absolutely valid and fair, they show you care about your children and do not want to expose them to further pain and wounding because of their father neglect and lack of responsibiity

JACUSTOMER-avtxa0v3- :

Should I tell the children and allow them to attend this gathering, by the way their father will not be there just his family.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I support you and believe that he must start taking real responsibility for the way his choices, passivity and actions affect your children's lives and well-being.

JACUSTOMER-avtxa0v3- :

should I tell the children at all or should I wait for him to tell them.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I think the best approach could be for you to contact him and confront his unacceptable behavior, asking him to tell them about it, and be clear that in case he continues avoiding taking responsibility for the way he impacts your children you would have no option but to do your best to protect them from getting hurt, thus that you would have to tell them about it, but would not tolerate similar situations to happen since they do not need nor deserve that.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

The more he delays telling the children about it, the more painful it would be for them, but if he refuses to be assertive, respectful and caring about your children's feelings and well-being, you would have to continue taking good care of them and tell them about it.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Children use to feel guilty about everything happening in their parents' marital relationship and life, thus tolerating or allowing any form of neglect or abuse under any justification would not help, be healthy or wise at all; it would wound them, and they do not need nor deserve that.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Thus if you choose to send them with their paternal family, please make sure they know about this situation, and even if then do not happen to go, I believe they need to know as soon as possible about it.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Does it make sense?

JACUSTOMER-avtxa0v3- :

Yes. Thank you for your help.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You're very welocme.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You're very welcome.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Thank you for your trust.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Please feel free to contact me if you have any further question, since I am here to support you as possible.

JACUSTOMER-avtxa0v3- :

Thank you

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You're welcome. Have a good day.

RealSupport
RealSupport, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3,191
Experience: MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
Verified
RealSupport and 87 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Ask RealSupport Your Own Question
RealSupport
RealSupport
RealSupport, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3,191
3,191 Satisfied Customers
Experience: MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach

RealSupport is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much

Corrie MollPretoria, South Africa

I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well!

ClaudiaAlbuquerque, NM

Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion.

KevinBeaverton, OR

Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
I feel better already! Thank you.

ElanorTracy, CA

Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem.

JulieLockesburg, AR

You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions.

John and StefanieTucson, AZ

I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!!

Janet VPhoenix, AZ

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Dr. Keane

Dr. Keane

Therapist

1,379 satisfied customers

Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.

TherapistMarryAnn

TherapistMarryAnn

Therapist

3,984 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.

Dr. Olsen

Dr. Olsen

Psychologist

2,336 satisfied customers

PsyD Psychologist

Norman M.

Norman M.

Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA

2,246 satisfied customers

ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.

Dr. Michael

Dr. Michael

Psychologist

2,177 satisfied customers

Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.

Steven Olsen

Steven Olsen

Therapist

1,728 satisfied customers

More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education

Anna

Anna

Mental Health Professional

1,656 satisfied customers

Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.

< Previous | Next >

Related Mental Health Questions
I feel this feeling of guilt and sadness and I'm not sure
I feel this feeling of guilt and sadness and I'm not sure why Would you happen to have an explanation for that … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
719 satisfied customers
I feel sad so much I need help dealing with how I feel
I feel sad so much I need help dealing with how I feel because it's affecting with my relationship with my boyfriend and my happiness in general… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
166 satisfied customers
77 year old parent of 50 year old aspergers sufferer. He
77 year old parent of 50 year old aspergers sufferer. He also has psychological problems schizophrenia-on injected medications.He does not take care of himself, Filthy. Filthy apartment over and over.… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
719 satisfied customers
Second opinion] OKMH98-130 I've been very sad and in a bad
second opinion] OKMH98-130 I've been very sad and in a bad state of mind ever since my mother figure passed away last year. I suffer from insomnia ever since. Loss of interest in daily activities. I p… read more
Juliet Cooper
Juliet Cooper
Doctorate of Psychology
29 satisfied customers
OKMH98-130 I've been very sad and in a bad state of mind
OKMH98-130 I've been very sad and in a bad state of mind ever since my mother figure passed away last year. I suffer from insomnia ever since. I've been sad often. I noticed my mood is better when I'm… read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
721 satisfied customers
I have this weird feeling that comes and goes ,, i used to
i have this weird feeling that comes and goes ,, i used to have anxiety and used Lexotan 3mg for about 3 years ,, i have stopped using it for like 6 to 7 months i felt fine , now im coping/struggling … read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
203 satisfied customers
I am 54 and sad and lonely, just like the lady I am reading
I am 54 and sad and lonely, just like the lady I am reading about right now. … read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
721 satisfied customers
I am so sad and exhausted. My baby brother dies April 2015,
I am so sad and exhausted. My baby brother dies April 2015, 18 months later i list my Mom. I had been her caterer … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
166 satisfied customers
The girl I care for is holding a grudge feels neglected a
The girl I care for is holding a grudge feels neglected a has started to flirt with her ex who's cheated lies and maniplated her I don't want her to go through the same cycle again how do I get her le… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
719 satisfied customers
For the past three years, I felt sad, I thought it was just
For the past three years, I felt sad, I thought it was just temporary, but I feel like I get worse at every waking moment, there shouldn't be a valid reason for me to feel this way, but just last year… read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
203 satisfied customers
Am very heart broken and sad while writing this, my 5 year
Hi Am very heart broken and sad while writing this, my 5 year old has treble in school, she had treble once we were in Iraq last year when she doesn't like a class member or a teacher she won't perfor… read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
203 satisfied customers
Im feeling very sad and isolated ... yes... Im on brintillex
yes... Im on brintillex 30 mg and amytryptallin at night to sleep … read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
721 satisfied customers
OKMH1025211 how do I stop hating my mom..she neglected me
OKMH1025211 Hello how do I stop hating my mom..she neglected me when I was a child and also helicopts me. Its crazy she is a walking condradicrion and she is a total hypricrite in everything she does.… read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
My daughter is 32yrs old and for the last week has been sad,
My daughter is 32yrs old and for the last week has been sad, depressed emotional, and very tired. She has had some weight gain. He current mood has affected her at work and at home we try to talk to h… read more
TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn
Therapist
Master's Degree
3,984 satisfied customers
I'm always sad! Yes I've lost very important family members
I'm always sad! Yes I've lost very important family members and a relationship with my daughter's father ended in 2008. Though the relationship ended so long ago deep inside I have a lot of feelings f… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
719 satisfied customers
I feel no emotions but anger and apathy. I don't get sad,
I feel no emotions but anger and apathy. I don't get sad, happy, excited, or scared. I have no emotional connection to anyone or anything but my daughter. And before I had her I didn't feel love for a… read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
I have recently been diagnosed with severe depression, SAD,
I have recently been diagnosed with severe depression, SAD, Bipolar depression, and mild anxiety - also possibly ADD. I have been taking Wellbutrin for awhile now with no results. I'm on 100 mg and th… read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
203 satisfied customers
I'm been suffering from some sadness from the passing of my
Hi, I'm been suffering from some sadness from the passing of my dad in Feb. and now the past few months I'm having hot flashes. I received a prescription a week ago for Venlafaxine. I have not taken i… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
950 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x