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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10643
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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Currently in a new relationship. Just curious to find out if

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Currently in a new relationship. Just curious to find out if her constantly hitting me via punching, slapping and kicking is a sign. She is doing it playfully but it still painful at times. When asked why she does this she just laughs it off. Your opinion.
Dr. Z :

Hello I believe I can help you with your concern

Dr. Z :

I understand your current concern about your girlfriend hitting you in this way, but you mention that she does it playfully, so may I ask has she ever "playfully" hit you while she was angry or upset?

Dr. Z :

Also that you know of has she ever had any anger issues or suffered any trauma in her past?

Customer:

no she hasnt

Dr. Z :

Okay, then most likely her playfully hitting you in this way is a sign of endearment for you and should not be considered a warning sign of anger issues or that she may become physically violent towards you in the future. I think you should mention to her seriously that when she does hit you it does hurt, so it would not be a bad thing if you ask her to tone it down.

Customer:

She has a pretty aggressive personality and if you have done her wrong she will go beyond getting even.

Dr. Z :

But as she ever gotten physically violent with anyone to get even?

Customer:

No physical violence more getting even in a mental way

Dr. Z :

Okay, well it seems like her aggressive personality is also present while she is attempting to be affectionate. Most likely when she playfully hits you, she is very eager about her affection for you and this why she gets "over-eager" and hits you too hard. You can tell her that it hurts a little bit and that if she can not hit as hard it would be great. You do not want to discourage the hitting part necessarily because it is her way of expressing affection, but asking her to hit more gently is a reasonable request.

Dr. Z :

I would not be too concerned about this behavior though, it most likely means that she likes you a lot judging by when she does it

Dr. Z :

Some individuals express their affection for others in different ways and she most likely is expressing it this way to help her seem not as vulnerable because when you express affection for someone, you inherently are being vulnerable. But when she does it she is not expressing her vulnerabilities, but still expressing affection.

Dr. Z :

This is her way of protecting herself, but still saying that she likes you.

Customer:

Thank you, ***** ***** makes sense to me

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