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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5809
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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The past two years of my life have been the worst ones of my

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The past two years of my life have been the worst ones of my life. I am 28 now and don't know how to deal with the issues. I try to let go and I can't. I try to be happy and I can't. I have found more so this past year I have become more angry and down right rude to people. I once was happy. What can I do to let go and to be happy again? Are there any medications or over the counter things I can take?
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.
Before I can answer, I need some clarification. When you say that you try to let go, was there something in particular that you need to let go of? Was there abuse in your past or other trauma issues?
Thank you,
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Two failed relationship where both men have played head games with me.

One I was with for 8 months and the other for 4 years.

The one of four years told me when we called it quits for good that he loves me, wants to have a family with me and marry me, but doesn't want to be with me. A few years ago we were going to have a child and due to health reasons, the fetus was lost. He blames me for it and for the decisions we have made as well as the doctors. I lived with him for pretty much the entire relationship. I helped him buy his house and paid half of everything and the complete remodel. In the end he said the only money I will give you is $50.00. I lost everything that we bought together. We broke up two years ago in October. This past year I had to go for MRI's and Xray's on my brain and head and he stayed in contact and asked me to keep him informed as to what is going on. He said he still cared even if we weren't together and that he still loves me. Once he started dating this new girl in July, I haven't heard from him; which isn't a bad thing. But he made it a point to tell me I should end my life.

The man I was with for 8 months, we weren't dating, but lived together and was basically in a relationship without the title. He was seeing another girl at the same time and both of them played head games with me. He used to make me dinner every night, text me all throughout the day and complain about the other girl. He would tell me that he doesn't want her to come over because he wants to spend his time with me. But he has also made it a point to tell me that he doesn't care; that he can't care because it would make things more complication. He would make it a point to call or text me when he was working or hanging out with her to see how I was doing and just to chat. He used to joke around with me about getting married and said if my birth control doesn't work and should he happen we get pregnant, he wouldn't leave me. He is pretty much the only man I have fully let in and felt comfortable with and in the end we got into a fist fight and he moved out. This was December 2012. Haven't heard from him since.

Besides my personal issues, I have fallen into deep financial issues. I was charged with something in February that I didn't do. I had to get a lawyer that cost me $2500 and the fees and fines are up near $3000. It was my sister's fault and my older brother told me I can't blame her for it. Needless to say, I found out I have no family. My mom and younger brother called me up at work to tell me my actions were ruining the family instead of being supportive and having my back. I haven't talked to either one of them since February. I talked to my sister and older brother for about a month after and hung out with them a lot. But now they only call me when they want something and constantly tell me about this vacation and that vacation and always say "you should've came" when I didn't even get an invite.

My work stress has gotten me so angry to the point where I'm ready to walk out any day now. The only thing holding me back is owning my own home and car, living alone and having to pay for everything.

One of my bosses keeps telling me that I need a good man in my life to help with the burden and to keep my head straight. The other boss told me I should have kids as it'll teach me patience. He also keeps telling me that I an condensending and think I am better than everyone.

I am at my breaking point and just don't know what to do.

It sounds like you have been through a lot. I am sorry to hear about your relationships and the lack of support from your family and bosses.
With your relationships, it sounds like you ended up with two men that had personality disorders. To be so uncaring and to encourage you to hurt yourself are signs that they both had severe issues. No one in a relationship directly hurts the other person as your ex's hurt you without having serious personality disorders.
It may help you to first explore what personality disorders are so you can not only see if they fit your past relationships, but understanding what you experienced can help you heal. Here is a resource to help you:
It sounds like there might also be some family members with issues as well as your bosses. Your family should be supporting you and your bosses should never be so personal with you as they have been. You might have a case with the EEOC if your current boss continues to make personal suggestions as he is doing:
You may also want to consider talking to someone at length about what you have been through. Therapy can help you sort through your feelings and give you guidance on how to put this in your past and cope with current situations you are in. Try asking your doctor for a referral or you can search on line at:
Healing from what you have been through and learning new ways to cope does take time. But with therapy and self help, you can work through your past and be free of your symptoms. Self help can especially provide you with support through self help groups and a chance to understand why you feel as you do. Here are other resources to help get you started:
Remember to take care of yourself most of all. You have suffered through a very difficult time in your life and you deserve to be treated well. Sometimes that means doing it for yourself, unfortunately. Find support through therapy and friends and seek out ways to help yourself feel better. Deep breathing, time to yourself or time away, talking to friends and on line support can all help you to feel better and gain a new perspective.
I hope this has helped you,
TherapistMarryAnn and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
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