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Dear Dr. Keane, I am thinking, as you know, about telling my

Dear Dr. Keane, I am...
Dear Dr. Keane, I am thinking, as you know, about telling my team about the fact that I have been considering handing in my notice and retiring from my position as unit leader for quite a long time. I want to let them know that I have thought about it long and hard and that it is not a snap decision. I have a good person who, if she wants, can step into my shoes, do various activities. I have gradually been giving this woman more responsibility in many areas, made her understand that I do a whole lot more than the time when we actually meet. Basically, I have, although she hasn't been aware of it yet, been making sure that she is as absolutely capable as possible. Either for the following week after that or the week after, depending on when the person above me can spare some time, I am thinking of calling another meeting to include her and start to get a way forward put together. I am nervous, scared but want to give a definitive date of when I leave. I have thought about your 3 months notice and you are so right, it will just have to be enough time for them, to finish at Christmas. I need however to make sure it is all done so very amicably. I want my departing to be on good terms. I have done so much with so many kids, kids who are now off to university who I’ve known from nearly the beginning of primary school, one of which came back to me in her teens to get experience and references behind her, others are now following suit. I know that when I do go, I will be leaving a group that are in a better position than when I got it, not that it was doing too badly before, but it is more than just ticking over now and has been for a number of years. It's also taken much more seriously with those above my position, who oversee many of the groups. I am nervous and scared for not so much now the group, but for me. I think because I have been doing it so long now that I find it hard to imagine not, but at the same time, the freedom that to be able to not be having to think about it would probably more be nice. I feel that I really have given my absolute all to this group, to the point that yes I exhausted myself until each break. It did help with some confidence for awhile and I got a referee for when I apply for jobs, and had a lot of satisfaction with the kids and learnt a lot along the way, but I do now I feel I have probably done almost all that I see possible with the group, as far as I can see and feel comfortable with. I hope we do manage to catch up about this and it would be good to know if I am thinking in the right way. I do feel that now is the time. I have my jewellery making, I will still have a little voluntary work, and it’s things with no or little pressure. So, because I won't be without anything at all except the paid work, then in some ways it does feel right. I am still so nervous though. Sorry, it's all been a bit longer than what I initially set out to write.
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Answered in 3 hours by:
9/10/2013
Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1,768
Experience: Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
Verified
Dr. Keane :

Hi, I'm here for a few minutes

Customer:

Hi

Customer:

thank you!

Customer:

the bulk of it is in my post.

Dr. Keane :

hang on I'm reading!!

Customer:

sure.

Dr. Keane :

First of all I understand the nervousness, it's quite normal to feel like this especially after so long in that position.

Dr. Keane :

Let me address a few things in order

Customer:

yes, sure.

Customer:

I have no real idea how to go about this, they were just a few thoughts.

Dr. Keane :

Your replacement. I think it shows your dedication and thoughtfulness in thinking about the person who takes your position when you leave. Having said that you should understand that it's not your decision, it's your referral to those higher up. What they decide to do is up to them.

Dr. Keane :

Again you are waiting for the higher ups to be available....why? make your desire for a meeting known now and pick the date you want to leave and stick to it.

Customer:

yes, I do understand this. It's often almost the way that it seems to be done though, that there has to be some sort of thought on my part.

Dr. Keane :

You are worried about how they will feel about you when you are gone? why? You have done a good job and don't ignore the fact that you were volunteering, that's huge.

Customer:

Oh I do intend to give her dates, I just know that the person higher up has her own unit, so was going to give her a couple of dates and only those when I actually have my unit. Going to make it clear that she may want to get whoever is her back-up/assistant person to run her own group that night.

Dr. Keane :

Some thought is fine, respectable notice is fine too.

Dr. Keane :

You have the right idea and it's your angst over not knowing what comes next that may have you worried...I can easily say it will be fine, but unless you believe it you'll worry, you are a worrier by nature.

Dr. Keane :

You will still be actively pursuing another job, doing your jewelry (which by the way is very pretty) and life will go one with a lot of possibilities for you to pursue.

Customer:

I do feel I have done absolutely everything I can with the group. I've seen so many kids, some who have come back as helpers, done what feels like a zillion activities, built it up and overcome the whole thing of the first few parents of me not being a parent myself. A couple had issues in the early days about that, until I convinced them otherwise that I had experience, less then that I have now of course, but certainly enough, and had the group raise funds for other charities

Customer:

to put it shortly.

Customer:

Thank you for the compliment on the jewellery :)

Customer:

It was very interesting to hear that you used to make some too. Thank you for sharing that info about yourself.

Dr. Keane :

Unfortunately I don't have a lot of time right now due to work but it really sounds like you are ready to move on and once you get past the actually giving notice and leaving you may have a bit of anxiety, nothing you can't handle.

Customer:

So, how I'm going to go about it is mostly okay?

Dr. Keane :

Oh, it was a long time ago and it was fun for a short time.

Dr. Keane :

yes, it's fine. You thought it through and it's time.

Customer:

That's eased my mind somewhat.

Dr. Keane :

I have to run right now , glad I was able to ease your mind a bit. You have all the tools so trust your instincts (which I think you are doing)....sorry I can't stay longer

Dr. Keane :

I knew you'd be online about now and wanted to catch you.

Customer:

Thanks for chatting, hope your day goes well.

Dr. Keane :

thanks, ***** ***** you soon.

Customer:

:)

Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1,768
Experience: Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
Verified
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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1,768
1,768 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.

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