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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5839
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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For almost a year now I've been dealing with anxiety and it

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For almost a year now I've been dealing with anxiety and it started within my relationship with my boyfriend. A month or so after our one year anniversary, we were out to dinner and everything was fine, until I had this random question of "Do I really love him?" and my thoughts went from one thing to another after that. I had my first panic attack that night. My heart was pounding for 3 days straight and I'm sure my blood pressure was sky rocket, so I made a doctor's appointment. She basically looked at me like I was crazy after what I told her and she told me to go speak with a counselor or psychiatrist. I never ended up going because I thought it was just some weird phase I was in.
For the past year, I've had my ups and downs, but the questions in my head and anxiety have not gone away and they've recently started to get bad again. I know that I love my boyfriend, I wouldn't be with him if I didn't. I just can't come to terms of why I keep questioning everything regarding our relationship. Anything negative that I hear about relationships, I instantly relate to me and my boyfriend and we aren't even on bad terms! We don't fight, we bicker and argue over little things like where we want to eat for dinner, but never anything serious. He treats me the way I've wanted to be treated since I started dating guys. I know that he's the one for me. I can see our future together.
I've also gotten anxiety over thinking about death. I'm a constant worrier and always thinking negatively. I guess my question is what is truly wrong with me? Do I have PTSD from the night I first questioned my love for my boyfriend, or is it just generalized anxiety over everything in life?
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.
It sounds like you have anxiety. Anxiety can seem to occur out of the blue and for no reason. When you are anxious, your thoughts are causing your mind to think your in danger, such as when you think about things wrong with your relationship or about death. Your body reacts by releasing adrenaline into your system. Adrenaline cause you to feel the body symptoms that are common with anxiety. It is much like after you have had a bad scare except with anxiety, there is no focus. The only thing you have to focus on is how you feel. And because your thoughts are probably always on alert, so is your body. This may be why you always feel anxious and scared.
It sounds like when you question your feelings for your boyfriend or you think about death, this anxiety is triggered. That is your thoughts making you feel anxious. The key to dealing with this is to change your response to the thoughts and the anxiety. Also, thinking about death can make you feel out of control. No one can control death so it is actually the perfect thing to make you feel anxious. It is helpful to know that although it is normal to feel fear about death, it is really your thoughts causing the amount of anxiety you are feeling.
The first step to helping yourself is therapy. The good news is that anxiety is easy to treat with therapy. In therapy, you learn to pay attention to what you are thinking to make yourself anxious. The therapist then can help you change your thoughts and therefore how your body reacts to your thoughts. You also can learn about how to let yourself float through your anxiety thereby gaining more control over how you feel. When anxiety comes on, you allow it to flow over you without tensing or panicking in response. This makes the anxiety reduce or go away faster. To find a therapist, talk to your doctor about a referral. Or you can search on line at
Medications are helpful to ease the symptoms but at this point, you might not need them unless you feel your anxiety is interfering in your ability to function in your daily life.
You can also help yourself at home. There are numerous resources to help you learn more about anxiety. Here are some to get you started:
The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund Bourne is excellent for any fears. It is self help and contains everything from supplements to relaxation techniques.
The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Anxiety: A Step-by-Step Program by Bill Knaus Ed.D. and Jon Carlson Psy.D. Ed.D.
From Panic to Power: Proven Techniques to Calm Your Anxieties, Conquer Your Fears, and Put You in Control of Your Life by Lucinda Bassett
You can find these books on or your local library may have them for you.
Try learning how to relax. This can help you each time you experience an anxious thought. And the more you practice, the easier it will be to use:
I hope this has helped you,
TherapistMarryAnn and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
I hope my answer was helpful to you. If you have any more questions, please let me know.
May I please request that if you find the service I provided helpful at all that you rate me with three or above? Your rating is the only way I am reimbursed for my answer. Thank you so much!
Thank you very much for the positive rating and bonus! I appreciate it.
My best to you,
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Thank you!!
You are very welcome :) Take care.