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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5810
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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At least 1 year ago or longer, when I started to kiss my

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At least 1 year ago or longer, when I started to kiss my wife (today married 48+ years) she told me no more french kissing. French kissing has been part of our marriage from the beginning even though not very frequent the last 16 years since during this time we have not been intimate or had any sex. She said she has a phobia-she did not get specific. I have no clue where this could have come from. I don't question her motives. Could she have some kind of phobia about french kissing and where could it come from?
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.
It could be possible that your wife developed a fear of germs. People can develop fears, which may seem irrational to others, when they feel so anxious about something that they avoid it at any cost. Though it may seem odd to you that your wife might fear french kissing, she might be afraid of how it makes her feel. And people can develop phobias about almost anything, including kissing.
The reason why your wife would suddenly develop this fear is hard to explain without talking to her directly. However, fears of this nature are often related to feeling out of control and a past history of abuse of some type, either emotional, physically and especially sexual. Also, any significant change in someone's life can trigger a phobia, especially if it was a traumatic event.
If your wife was able to kiss you up until recently however, the chances she suddenly developed a phobia is not very high. Because of that, there might be other reasons she is pulling back. It could be as simple as sensitivity to how her breath smells to not wanting to be that intimate anymore (not necessarily because of you but in general). It could also be health related, especially if she has recently gone through any health issues.
If you do not want to explore why she has suddenly developed this issue, you can let it go and try to find other ways to feel close to her. However, asking her about it and telling her that you would appreciate talking about why she is telling you she no longer wants to french kiss can help you understand her better and bring you both closer to each other. It's up to you which one you feel more comfortable.
I hope this has helped you,
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I hope my answer was helpful to you. If you have any more questions, please let me know.

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