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Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5334
Experience:  Dr. Mark is a PhD in psychology in private practice
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Hi ! I dont know how to start i got married 2 years ago my

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Hi ! I dont know how to start i got married 2 years ago my marriage is been very bad we dont get along we dont agree in anything we dont have sex he lies a lot and e likes to act and be a victim he plays a lot video games all the time i get tired of it i asked for divorce he got mad and told everyone family things then i didnt say he is acting he suggering a lot to his family and my friends i dont believe him nothing make me hate him all what he does ! Lie after lie make me look im the worst person in the world .. I dont want to be with him and every one is pushing me to be with him i dk what to do ! I have no car he tooked i was home mom im ready looking for a job hope they call me soon . I dk what to tell ppl his grand ma tell me bad stuff what should i do i feel worthless ..

Hi! I'll be glad to be of help with this issue.

I can imagine how distressing this situation must be for you. You are clearly a loving and caring wife and you have been trying your best to make the marriage work. But it hasn't worked. And so you've been trying your best to save the marriage. But that isn't working either. I'm so sorry you're going through this. You clearly have been trying very hard.

And this is actually the key to my answer to you that you need to consider and think about. Marriage requires both people to be trying in order for the marriage to work. Marriage will not work if only one person is trying. And he is only looking out for himself. We don't know why he isn't having sex with you. When this happens at a young age like your age, then something is not right with him. That he's lying is a further indication that something is not right. He's not at all acting to try to improve the situation; he's only looking out for himself.

And so, you are correct that you need to move on in your life. That you're feeling worthless is because you ARE a giving and caring and loving person. You feel as though if the marriage fails, it was a failure and you maybe should have done more. But this is not the right calculation. Again, marriage requires two people working to make it work in order for the marriage to succeed. If only one person is trying, it won't work. And if the marriage fails, it's not the fault of the person who was trying to make it work!

What his family says is not relevant to you. They have probably spent most of his life trying to get him to do things and were very happy when he finally got married and they felt he would now succeed. So when he didn't succeed, rather than putting the fault on him, they chose to do what's easy and to blame you. That's part of his life pattern, most likely.

So, it doesn't matter any more what they think. What does matter is that you move on in your life. Because YOU are the one with potential and the one who will be a good catch for a man in your future who deserves you.

Okay, I wish you the very best!

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