Hi! I'll be glad to be of help with this issue.
I can imagine how frustrating this situation must be for you. You are clearly a loving, caring, and sensitive person. And this feels like a lack of sensitivity on his part. I know you can rationalize it away and excuse it, but it does hurt your feelings. That's also clear. And he keeps doing it over and over. This is what is making you become unsure about the relationship: he keeps doing it.
He must certainly be a very fine man for you to feel so connected with him and to want to marry him. That's beautiful. And you need to make sure that you're not letting your sensitivity keep you from making it clear to him what exactly you want.
And this is actually the key to my answer to you that you need to consider and think about. Men can be a little thick sometimes. Okay, men can be pretty thick sometimes. I am concerned that you've hinted about what his mentioning his ex wife does to you, but not that you've sat down and had a talk about how you are sensitive about this like almost every woman is. That as a man he probably thinks he's just stating facts and even that he's sharing with you. What would be better, he might think.
But that for a woman, to hear about an ex wife and what she liked and how she did things, etc., etc. is very disconcerting and spoils the love relationship of the moment. That this is how women are. And therefore, you are asking him to be aware of this and to make a very concerted effort to catch himself from talking about her unless it's for a necessary reason. You can even show him my answer if it will help him to have evidence from a professional that this is how men and women differ and that this is an important part of a second marriage: do not mention the ex wife unless it's necessary.
And this will let you know what you want to know. If he does over the next couple of months learn to stop this, then he was indeed being a man and just imparting information. If not, then your concern about her being on his mind actively becomes more a possibility. So, be very up front and straightforward about the matter and find out. Because in far more cases than not, I've found that the man is really not attached to his ex, just a bit clueless about the effects of his words.
Okay, I wish you the very best!
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