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Ask Dr. Kaushik Your Own Question
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4661
Experience:  MD Psychiatry
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My 12 year old son stayed at a family friends house. They

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My 12 year old son stayed at a family friends house. They have a 10 year old son. My son told him and another boy they had to join the mans club and expose themselfs to eachother. After that my son rubbed himself on the other boy. The other boy is upset about this obviously, but what do I do. Does my son need help? I find this very disturbing and don't know how to handle this..

Greetings !

Welcome to the site.

I am Dr. Kaushik and i believe i can help you with your problem.

I am sorry to learn about your situation and I empathize with you since it must be really hard for you as a parent to deal with this difficult situation.

I will like to ask few queries so as to gain more insight into the problem.

1) What has been your son's reply to justify his action ?

2) Has this been a single incident or have there been other such situations like this in the past ?

3) Does your son like to dress up in female clothing like wearing make up and your clothes or shoes ?

4) Has your son professed in the past that he will like to have a body of a female or will like to become a female when he grows up ?

5) Does he play female oriented games like playing with doll and house ?

I will get back to you once you reply to my queries.


Customer: replied 4 years ago.

He does not really have an answer. He says sorry and does not know why he did it. I don't know how much more to ask. We have never had any problems in past. He plays dress up all the time but in cop stuff. He is our adopted son but we have had him since he was two. And no he plays cops all the time cause that is what he wants to be. I always think he is mentally yonger than other 12 year olds and he gets along with younger boys, but maybe this is wrong to. I just don't know what to do.

Thanks for the valuable inputs.

If your answers to my above questions are mostly NOs then it is unlikely that your son is having Gender Identity disorder which later on life can lead to homosexuality or transvestism (cross-dressing),so as of now this incident seems to be a one of a case where he possibly tried to experiment with other children merely out of curiosity but a single such episode cannot deem him as having a perpetual problem with his sexuality.

However I will like to ask you to keep a continuous vigil on him and monitor his actions albeit discreetly because if he is struggling with his sexuality then he will most likely repeat this act and once that is noticed then you shall get him consulted with a child clinical psychologist and get evaluated for gender identity disorder.

I hope this helps.

Wish you all the best.

Please kindly leave a Positive rating if you are satisfied with the answer.

If there is any other assistance needed please feel free to ask using the reply button.


Customer: replied 4 years ago.

So do I punish him - will the other boy be okay.

Well yes most possibly the other boy will outgrow this event provided he is given good parental support and reassurances.

As far as your son is concerned he can be grounded with some of his liberties also getting curtailed for sometime so as to give him a direct indication about his unacceptable actions which he shall pledge not to repeat again.

I will ask you to refrain yourself from using physical punitive methods.

I hope this helps.

Wish you all the best.


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