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Ask Dr. A. Rene Your Own Question
Dr. A. Rene
Dr. A. Rene, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 16
Experience:  10 years of clinical experience with expertise in trauma related disorders.
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Why does my 12yr old who is well liked and popular at school

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Why does my 12yr old who is well liked and popular at school and at sports not want friends over our house or go over there houses. He says that he sees them at school And that's the same. When he is taken (not his liking) to social events he hangs with them. I am just worried. Is there a reason for this.

Dr. Adena V :

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing it is stupid.” – Einstein

Dr. Adena V :

Maybe he just wants some down time and to be at home?

Dr. Adena V :

With todays busy schedules... sometimes kids just want some time to be by themselves

Customer:

Yeah but it is all the time. All summer he won't call anyone to hang out

Dr. Adena V :

What are you worried about? What do you think it means?

Dr. Adena V :

What does he do at home?

Customer:

Weird because he is the life of places he goes to dances and parties. I just hope nothing is wrong

Customer:

He plays his Wii, runs around the yard. He always asks me to do stuff that I do with him, football lacrosse ect. I tell him to call his friends to come over to play. No I don't want to is what I get.

Dr. Adena V :

Is he showing signs of depression at home? What does he say when you talk to him about it? Is he eating okay/sleeping okay?

Dr. Adena V :

Some kids get what they need as far as peer interactions from sports, social activities, and school and when they are home, they want to connect with their family.

Customer:

Yeah. He is eating fine and sleeping. He always gets mad at me and tells me nothing is wrong. I ask why he doesn't call any of his friends I get"because". Like I said once he gets there he jumps right in. When God was younger he use to go. Hd is going to middle school in sept.

Customer:

It just doesn't seem normal to me. He is very well liked from kids and parents alike. Great personality and a good kid. No anger issues and very sure of himself.

Dr. Adena V :

As a parent of 4 (3 of which are in the same age range as your son)... I find that this is very normal. My 11 year old son who has a lot of friends and is very social comes home and crashes after sports, etc. because he just wants down time.

Customer:

I have a very close relationship with him. Talk about everything. I am a police officer and of course I fear the worse. I just hope nothing has happened to him when he was somewhere.

Dr. Adena V :

I think you are best not to worry and to take it as a compliment that he likes being around you... because in a few years he will probably be no where to be found... enjoy it while it lasts :)

Dr. Adena V :

I think that kids are so busy these days they just want to "BE" and that is okay.... if he is not showing any other signs of concern... I would say trust him that he will come to you if there was an issue.

Customer:

Thanks. I appreciate your time

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