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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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I've had a problem since I was a very child. I have a vivd

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HI - I've had a problem since I was a very young child. I have a vivd imagination so I would be quite happy to play alone - and play pretend. I've found as I have grown older there is this one thing I haven't shook off and that's talking to myself when alone. It comes in stages. Sometimes it doesn't happen for months and then I find myself imagining myself in scenarios indicative to my current situation that I prelive as it were. I for example, imagine myself in an important meeting coming up and will replay the scenario in my room and imagine my colleagues there and talk as if they are there. In my mind they are but I am conscious they are not there. I also never do this when I have company I only ever do it when I am alone. I have noticed when I am down I do it more. When things are going well I don't do it at all. I've looked up all kinds of pyschological problems like Schizophrenia but I don't feel I am Scizophrenic. Any help would be much appreicated.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.
Talking to yourself is something most people do. They do it in varying degrees but almost everyone does it. It is a way to sort thoughts and feelings. Talking out loud also lets you process issues differently which sometimes can help you solve problems. So it sounds like you have a very vivid imagination and that is probably all.
Since you have been seen by a therapist and/or psychiatrist, you should have been screened for all mental health disorders, Schizophrenia included. Your symptoms would have been apparent to any mental health professional evaluating you. And if you had Schizophrenia, it would have most likely shown up by now at your age. Typical on set for Schizophrenia is late teens, early 20's with some people developing it a little later in their 20's. Plus, the symptoms you describe are not even close to Schizophrenia. Add to that your question, which is clearly stated and organized well, shows your thought pattern as clear. When someone has Schizophrenia, it often shows in how they write as well as how they voice thoughts.
You also mentioned that you are able to control when you imagine scenarios. If you had Schizophrenia or another serious mental health disorder, you would not be able to control when did these things and how they worked in your imagination. People with Schizophrenia also have hallucinations and delusions, which are much different than imagination. They see and hear things that are not there and are convinced they are real. You know your imaginations are not real and that you are experiencing a vivid imagination. Someone with Schizophrenia does not have that kind of insight.
Over all, it sounds like you just have a more vivid imagination that most people. As long as you are able to see this for what it is and you can control when you do it, then you are just fine. If it does continue to bother you or you experience any anxiety over it, consider trying therapy again, maybe with another therapist. It might help you to get a different perspective.
I hope this has helped you,
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thank you Kate. I'm still a little concerned that I am not 100% well. People do say I am emotional sometimes. I have also been told I blow hot and cold. And if they really upset me will not bother with them much after. I wouldn't say I cut them out of my life but I certainly stand back.

Maybe I'm searching for something that isn't much to worry about. But it's just the knowing that I have had this all my life and never really talked about it. Any further advice would be appreciated. Many Thanks.

You're welcome!
If you are emotional or blow hot or cold sometimes, those issues are more about your personality or coping mechanisms, which are learned rather than a mental health disorder. When someone has suffered through trauma or abuse in the past for example, those things can affect how you handle your emotions and how close you let others get to you emotionally. If you are putting distance between you and those that upset you, then it just means either you are protecting yourself or you learned in the past that putting up a wall is the safer way to handle getting hurt.
Either way, these issues are easily resolved depending on how much you want to put into them. But if you are happy with how you are and you feel settled with your life, then take the comments in stride and just tell others that this is who you are as a person. They can do with that what they will.
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