Thanks for your question. My name is ***** ***** I have over 10 years of experience in helping people with relationship problems.
There are a lot of reasons why commitment makes people nervous. If you've had bad experiences in relationships in the past, or perhaps your parents, family, or friends had difficult relationships, those would be some of the most common reasons that people are nervous to get involved in relationships. In this situation, if you have had a great relationship/friendship with this guy for the past 2.5 years, it is only natural to be nervous about doing anything to change the nature of your relationship together. Even making an official commitment to each other can be enough to change the dynamics of the relationship, and if it is the idea of losing him that is the most frightening to you, it's understandable that you want to keep things the way they are, but at the same time also be worried about keeping things the way they are for too long.
Most likely you're correct, and most relationships do hit a point where a larger commitment needs to be made, or to go seperate ways. It sounds like he is pretty patient and understanding if you are able to talk to him about this and he suggested talking to someone about it. If he is not putting any pressure on you to commit, then perhaps it isn't necessary right now. Even though you may want to commit in some ways, it's also important to listen to your instincts, and if they are telling you that now is not the right time in your life to make a larger commitment, then that's important to listen to. To some extent you may never feel 100% comfortable with the idea of commitment until you take that next step and see how it goes for yourself. Often times once you are committed and start to feel secure in that, a lot of that nervous will start to go away, especially if your relationship already has a solid foundation. I definitely wish you the best with all of this, and if there's anything else I can do to help just let me know.