Before i start i want to make clear i want my question answered by a psychiatrist thanks~
Hi, im writing to ask about whats going on with me in the hopes that i can get some help from someone who understands what im gonna ask. I have written in the past a long time ago but this question is different. I am on seroquel 575mg , abilify 20 mg, paxil 15 mg, epival 750 mg, take synthroid and vitamin b12. I also take 4 capsules of omega 3 a day(one when i wake up two an hour later and 1 at bedtime). My entire life ive been very self concious of myself because of a horrible time in school. Now, i have been told by someone here about two years ago i think to get off one of the antipsychotics, get off epival also and that my symptoms should be well managed after. I havent done this yet as i dont know enough to do so(neither does my psychiatrist). What i do know is that, if i take too much or too little of seroquel and abilify i feel the difference fast enough, meaning i dont feel good, however the next day that i retake the right dose i feel normal again (normal meaning like i feel with normal dose of the drugs).
The combination of seroquel and abilify seems to be just enough to keep me free of being self conscious of myself.(or at least it was "just" enough a few years ago, now im much more self-confident in every way).
Im not going to go into too much more detail as i could write an extremely long message, so heres the minimum i can tell you: Because of the abuse i endured daily in high school it accumulated negative thoughts asleep in my mind. After high school i started talking to a psychologist about my problems and i felt better and better, however the better i felt the more anxiety
i got(wich makes sense as the negative thoughts were awakened progressively). Now today the negative part of my mind is much bigger than the positive part(as confirmed by my psychiatrist) and basicly every time i take a seroquel pill it makes a space in the negative thoughts area. This makes it much easier for me to think, since i have far less negative thoughts with seroquel. Now abilify is a bit different, it seems to simply stop all obssessive, self conscious thinking(especially about obssessing over appearence, even though i look good i still have some of that). Now its like my system has adjusted itself to the doses of pills im taking. Like i said if i for example, take a dose of 25 mg of abilify instead of the usual 20 i actually feel worse, until i take the right dosage again.
To finish up ill explain last important things, i got a psychosis
NOS 5 years ago so that burned lots of brain cells. This is why i first started to take omega 3s with my psychiatrists guidance, and i feel 100 times better today, the omega 3s also stimulate the positive side of the mind wich in turn push away the negative and makes me feel very good when i take them every day. If i miss a single omega 3 i feel the difference in an hour at most, i just feel like my mind is much slower/more negative. I have a diagnosis of extreme anxiety, i have been depersonalized and derealized in the past, i possibly have what my doctor thinks is asperger's. I also feel quite light headed and i dont really feel he weight of my body at all. Its like im not in the "moment", this changes tho as sometimes when i rarely feel good i feel heavier, feel my body and my five senses are much more normal and acute( when that happens i also feel more "connected" to my thoughts, feel more like myself, and feel bursts of happiness,energy,motivation that comes and goes) wich is a wonderful feeling. To be clear, i take epival because it slows down obssessive thoughts, and i take paxil because it actually interupts and "stops" obssessive thinking and helps with anxiety. Those two seem to be doing the same thing to my normal thinking too tho.. Now heres my question:
Am i on the right medication, or should i talk to my doctor to make some changes. Also, i have done evrything to try to feel better by attacking my anxiety head on, i however think the anxiety i have, however tremendous it may be, is more a symptom of the Real problem i may have. Its all about my thoughts, as i still think negatively towards myself unconsciously from what i realized recently. When i feel good i get a rush of positive thoughts in my mind and i feel fantastic, however this never lasts more than a few minutes at most and almost never happens(happens like once a month if im lucky). I have even tried a weighted blanket, wich reduces my anxiety a bit but i still feel the same(unlike when i feel good where i have normalized evrything including anxiety and my positive thinking.)
Thanks for the help if you have any questions let me know!