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Ask Dr. Kaushik Your Own Question
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4660
Experience:  MD Psychiatry
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Our adopted child now 18 is stealing money and lying

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Our adopted child now 18 is stealing money and lying ......what should we do ? She was 6 when adopted and spent the first 6 years in an orphanage with her twin sister who we also adopted ..

Hi there,

Welcome to Just answer !

I am sorry to learn about your predicament and I empathize with you since it must be really hard for you to deal with this particular situation.

Well I will like to ask you a few queries so that I can gain more insight into the problem.

1) Does your adopted daughter show disregard for social norms and conventions and often breaks rules ?

2) Is she rebellious , disrespectful towards elders and you as parents ?

3) Can she become physically violent and aggressive against others when things do not go her way ?

4) Does she create scenes/ drama in public gatherings to seek attention and to get her demands fulfilled ?

5) Is she cruel towards pets and other children ?

I will get back to you once you reply to my queries.


Customer: replied 4 years ago.
The answer to questions 1,2,3,5 is no. She is polite and respectful and kind and loves little children and her pets. But to question 4 yes. She creates a lot of drama and says what she thinks people want to hear rather than speak the truth. She agrees with everyone and makes up stories and half truths if she thinks that's what people want. We know she has a need for attention. We understand that part. But she has always been deceptive and makes things up. She saws mean things when she is mad. She can't be trusted to tell the truth and at her age that is a serious problem. She lacks emotional maturity and has poor judgement.

Thanks for the valuable inputs.

Well it seems like your daughter has a particular personality type called as Borderline personality/disorder which seems to be the root cause for her typical traits and behavior. You see people with such type of personality are overly dramatic , attention seekers, constant liars and deceive others , manipulative and exploitative often using emotional blackmailing , have shallow emotional quotient and attachment, known to use their charm to take advantage of others for their own incentives, not-trustworthy.

I am sending below a link which can give you more information about Borderline Personality disorder.

Now many times it so happens that such type of personality trait/ disorder comes in the child from his / her biological parents and since she is adopted so there is a huge possibility that she possibly incorporated these traits from any one of her parents at least.

Now this borderline personality disorder needs to be evaluated and confirmed by getting her thoroughly assessed by a clinical psychologist and upon confirmation of the same she shall be started on a specific therapy / counseling called as CBT ( Cognitive Behavioral Therapy ) which is the most suited therapy for managing such type of personality disorder. This therapy will be carried out in once a week interview session format spanning over 12-16 weeks and it will try to alter the thinking pattern of your daughter thereby modifying her decompensating borderline behavior and attitude.

So the first thing that you got to do now is to find a good clinical psychologist ( seek referral from your family doctor ) and get her thoroughly assessed for Borderline Personality disorder and then started on CBT if the condition is confirmed.

You see at her young age she is quite likely to respond well to CBT and overcome her condition which if ignored now will later become consolidated and much difficult to manage.

I hope this helps.

Wish you all the best.

Please kindly leave a Positive rating if you are satisfied with the answer as only then I will be credited for my service.

If there is any further assistance needed please feel free to ask using the reply button.


Dr. Kaushik and 3 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

You're welcome.

Take care.

Warm regards..