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I've been in a great relationship for about 2 years. About

month ago, my girlfriend came...
I've been in a great relationship for about 2 years. About month ago, my girlfriend came out to her parents and it turned horrible. They said horrific things, made her feel like a disappointment, and forbids it. Since them she has spiraled downward and became overally stressed with school, moving, her parents, and now us. Everything was good in the relationship and we were both happy. Now she is turning to us and thinks the relationship is a bad idea and doesn't know if we should be together. When we talked about it all, she said she wants to be together and loves me but she is just so confused in life and does not have any ambition anymore. Up till about 2 weeks ago, she was telling people she loves me, how great I was, and talking about our future with others! Could this all be a sign of the depression, a result of telling her parents, or too much stress?
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Answered in 26 minutes by:
5/11/2013
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4,720
Experience: MD Psychiatry
Verified

Hi there,

Welcome to Just answer !

1) Please kindly clarify one thing that you said she had a heated argument / altercation with her parents 1 month back but until 2 weeks back she was still very much for the relationship , so there is this confusion regarding the gap of 2 weeks between these two points , how was her behavior during this period ?

2) Also please throw some light on the fact that whether the altercation with her parents revolved around your relationship ?

3) How is her professional and social life , are these domains also compromised ?

I will get back to you once you reply to my queries.

Regards.

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Customer reply replied 4 years ago
1. She came out to her parents about a month ago which caused her to start stressing. It came at a bad time though because it is her last month of the semester, we are going on vacation, and moving all this month. She seemed ok but a little stressed the first two weeks but as she got more stressed about everything and things piled up, she turned it on the relationship. She has a history of getting easily stressed as periods of a couple days here and there where she feels down.
2. Her coming out to her parents was not exactly about our relationship but it plays a big role in what her parents say and think. They have issues with the gay lifestyle and don't support her at all. It is all related.
3. He professionally and social life have suffered. She says she has no ambition to do anything anymore. She is unhappy with life since she told her parents and every little thing is confusing her.

Thanks for the inputs..

Well after reading your replies it seems like the stressful event that took place between her and her parents have pushed her into depression as is evident from the hallmark features of depression she is displaying such as loss of ambition , low mood , lack of self confidence , feeling of despair and hopelessness , helplessness and worthlessness, her inter-personal relations , social and professional lives all having been compromised, procrastination on her part , lacking zeal for good things in life.

So it is her depression that is influencing her actions because her mind is at the moment clogged with negative thoughts along with her self confidence being at an all time low and this invariably is reflecting poorly on your relationship.

So I reckon that you being a concerned partner give her some time and space to rejuvenate , a vacation to a quiet , serene place will be a welcome gift for her to un-burden herself from the stress and if possible get her started on a stress relieving drug like Lexapro ( escitalopram ) at modest dose of 10 mg / day , to be taken for a few weeks so that she can come out of this depressive phase and gets back to her previous life with you being in the picture as you have been in the past.

Also please do not get into a panic mode yourself after hearing her current muddled take on the relationship future as she is not saying this at her own will but is being made to say this as she is under lot of stress and in depression so this way she just tries to vent out her frustration which has been mounting on her since that day. So please be supportive , tried to remain calm with her and offer her more time to heal , I am positive that she will soon come out of this with the help of the drug mentioned above and with time passing by with her issues both personal and professional resolving in during this course of time.

If your relationship continues to deteriorate despite your efforts of giving her time and space , use of stress relieving drug as mentioned above , then I reckon seeking relationship counseling shall be the most useful ploy to unmask her true sentiments and emotions about the future of this relationship which will in a way help you to plan your future accordingly.

I hope this helps .

Wish you all the best.

Please kindly leave a Positive rating if you are satisfied with the answer as only then will I be credited for my service.

If there is any further assistance needed please feel free to ask using the reply button.

Regards..

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Customer reply replied 4 years ago
Would it be helpful to reassure her she can get through this and I'm still here or not to bring up the triggers more? Thank you for your answer!

Yes definitely reassuring her time and again will not only give her more strength to endure this tough phase but also it will reflect good on you for being a true moral support at the time of adversity and this shall only make her value your presence in her life even more which shall invariably strengthen your bond with her.

Regards..

Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4,720
Experience: MD Psychiatry
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