How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Dr. Kaushik Your Own Question
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4672
Experience:  MD Psychiatry
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Dr. Kaushik is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

If parental stability/love was lacking, and the adult has

This answer was rated:

If parental stability/love was lacking, and the adult has not succeeded in finding a stable marriage (and after many betrayals is depressed upon realizing it), what is the best strategy -- without exhausting one's friends -- for not falling under?

Hi there,

Welcome to Just answer !

Well in this case scenario where the person in question has had serious deficit in his / her life for unconditional and stable love and relationships, such a person is most likely to develop a sense of worthlessness and hopelessness and depression. You see a good family support is essential to keep all of us afloat in serious adversities and stressors which life throws at us at different points of our lives but when such a support has been lacking from one's life then such a person finds no emotional cushion to fall back on at times of overwhelming testing times and hence falls prey to depression.

So I will like to ask you that what sort of interventions have you tried so far ? What drugs have been tried and what sort of therapies have been tried by you ?

I have some options for you but I will like to gain some more insight into the interventions that you have already tried so that I do not repeat them while answering your question and provide you with fresh options of management.


Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Interventions so far:

Several therapists, including one I was seeing who is now moving away. This has been moderately helpful, but no real life answer.

Psychiatrist who prescribed Celexa over a period of years. Not working anymore.

New psychiatrist who prescribed Lamictal -- which caused me to lose my memory and is simply not working.

I am now extremely depressed, but do NOT want to take any more psychotropic meds. They are hard to get off, do little for me, and the side effects conflict with my career.

Just so you know -- I am still married (28 years), have 3 very successful and happy children in their 20s, academic degrees and a rewarding but erratic career as a writer. On the outside, we have had every good thing in the world. But my husband is cold, has been alcoholic, Kids are out of the house. And writing is very up and down -- lots of rejection.

There is no stable adult -- sister, best friend -- in my life, and I feel as lost as I once did with a mother who really didn't take care of me or like me. At 59, it's hard to see any light ahead.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Are these posts public? If so, I withdraw because my privacy is being violated.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Basically, I'm asking a very basic question and facing a very fundamental problem in life.

When you don't get love as a child, and don't get the right support as an adult, what then?

And that is the fundamental question that therapy cannot perhaps ever answer. No paid professional or drug can substitute for love -- maybe religion can, or meditation.

But I despair of getting true help and only reached out in desparation.

I will like to provide you two options , since you will not like to use medications which by every mean can prove to be most effective ploy to overcome this state of mind of yours.

1) CBT ( Cognitive Behavioral Therapy ) to be sought from a clinical psychologist/ therapist which shall help you to learn coping skills and strategies to endure stressors of life and make you emotional stronger so as to overcome present loneliness and mild to moderate depressive cognition.This therapy can actually be an eye opener and may actually help you achieve closure to your past emotional issues dating back to your childhood which may be have having an effect on your present.

2) If this CBT has been tried already then the second option that I suggest is TMS (Transcranial Magnetic stimulation) which is a new non - Invasive procedure where in by using magnetic field placed on the scalp , areas in the brain which are involved in causing depressive cognition are stimulated and depression is allayed.

It is usually given 5 days a week by a psychiatrist in an outpatient set up mostly without any invasive procedure involved and the course of treatment with TMS ( r- TMS , that is repeat TMS) spans over several weeks usually 6 weeks or so. A gradual lifting of mood and relief in depressive features including loneliness shall be appreciated as time will pass by. It is a very safe procedure .

Kindly see link below for more information on TMS..

So kindly discuss these two options with your doctor or therapist and choose one of them , both of them do not involve use of drugs as per your liking.

I hope this helps.

Wish you all the best.

Please kindly leave a Positive rating if you are satisfied with the answer as only then will I be credited for my service.

If there is any further assistance needed please feel free to ask using the reply button.


Dr. Kaushik and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you