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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1768
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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Dear Dr. Keane, Grief is quite hard to deal with, well I

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Dear Dr. Keane, Grief is quite hard to deal with, well I think so anyway. Someone close to me died recently. My friend was not particularly old but she got ill again. Her illness started to spread and became inoperable as it happened so quickly and she could not have anymore treatment as she'd had all of the therapies like chemo etc that was possible, apparently a person can only have it so many times, and it just didn't work this time. Then she deteriorated quite rapidly. I am just so very, very sad. I have been trying to keep myself busy and not be inside too much because at least when I'm in a public place or at work then I know I won't cry. I think this is the worst I have ever experienced so far of grief. Any help/support/advice would be appreciated.
Dr.Keane :

I am so sorry about your friend. I tried to log in twice on Friday but there were problems with the server. I am sure you are sad, it's perfectly normal to feel that way. If you feel like crying, cry. It's okay. Death is always sad,

Dr.Keane :

If it is unexpected it's more of a shock and if it's expected people who were close to the deceased may have begun mourning the loss. So let yourself feel sad and cry. Again I am sorry I missed chatting earlier. I'll try again on Saturday when I am near my computer.

Customer:

Thank you!

Customer:

in some ways we knew that it was coming, but didn't have long to prepare for it, just a matter of a few days. Did kind of figure out that she may not have long, just ended up shorter than what we thought.

Customer:

I will say the medical staff were good from what I heard from the family, and I am glad of that.

Customer:

hi

Dr.Keane :

Hi, how are you today?

Customer:

thank you for getting back to me.

Dr.Keane :

sorry about yesterday, I know you were upset but when I was able to be here I couldn't get online.

Customer:

still sad, just been busy trying not to get too sad.

Dr.Keane :

not online

Dr.Keane :

on to the site

Customer:

well, sometimes technology doesn't always work quite properly at times. I understand

Dr.Keane :

Staying busy is good but don't stay busy just to delay being sad, it's a sad time. Is there a funeral service or anything planned?

Customer:

there is a funeral planned. I am able to go to the church service. Have to work the rest of the day when it happens.

Customer:

so I definitely plan to go to the service.

Customer:

think it's near the beginning of next month.

Customer:

I was thinking about her today when I was walking home from work and how she liked the blossom on the trees.

Dr.Keane :

good, that will give you closure, also remember she's not in pain or suffering anymore.

Customer:

I don't know if I've been delaying being sad or not. Just feel sad from time to time and more so if I'm not doing something. Been making some jewellery because that takes concentration.

Customer:

Yes I am glad that she is no longer suffering. She had cancer off and on for many years, but until recently she had also had a very long time of being in remission and had been doing fine until it came back.

Dr.Keane :

that sounds like a nice project and does take concentration. You'll be fine, you may have needed to say you were sad, acknowledge it and you'll be okay

Customer:

yes maybe.

Dr.Keane :

At least she had a long remission time, some don't get that opportunity.

Customer:

I think it was because on Thurs I was really upset most of the day.

Customer:

Yes I was glad that she had a long remission time and was able to enjoy some more of her life and her family.

Dr.Keane :

Sad that it had to reoccur but that's life. Yes it probably was hearing the news and thinking about it, but you know that's okay, you felt sad, a friend died. Normal reaction.

Customer:

yes. Think I just needed to talk about it a bit.

Dr.Keane :

I agree, you needed to express how you felt. Today you are better and it will get better each day.

Customer:

I know the sadness won't last forever and maybe the fact I'll attend the funeral will help.

Dr.Keane :

It will, as I said give you some closure, go do something nice for yourself when you are done with your jewelry making. Take a walk (weather?) .

Customer:

today it is still hard but not quite as bad as at the end of the week. I actually knew about her death before that but was so busy at work and the review and everything, although I felt sad, it just hadn't all had chance to hit me properly.

Customer:

Weather is okay today. Got some sun.

Customer:

I think a friend and I may do that tomorrow too - take a walk after looking through new theatre brochures if she's still available.

Dr.Keane :

You had other things to focus on, so you put thinking about her death aside, it happens. I have to run. I hope you enjoy the sun and go have fun with your friend tomorrow.

Customer:

thank you for chatting to me.

Customer:

Enjoy your day!

Dr.Keane :

I'm just glad you were online, thank you I will enjoy the day. !!

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