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Penny Rayas, MFT
Penny Rayas, MFT, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 395
Experience:  I have 20 years experience in the mental health field
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I like wearing women s lingerie and think of having sex as a

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I like wearing women s lingerie and think of having sex as a women. I have not done so, but have gone to some places and have had them use dildos in me. What am I looking for? Why do I do this?
Hello there and thanks for asking JA. it looks like you are a crossdresser. I think as many as one out of 10 men crossdress. This does not mean that you are mentally ill. This is a normal behavior for you and many others. Can you tell me if this is causing you distress? How is your relationship with our wife? There many crossdressers support groups. I suggest this book for you. Also look for a therapist in your city that specialises in providing therapy for crossdressers
Crossdressing With Dignity: The
Case For Transcending Gender Lines [Paperback]


Customer: replied 4 years ago.

No it goes not cause me distress. I have been to some providers who work with me in role plays where I act as awomen sexually. Using toys. I did oral and anal play. I also enjoy that and I have visited shemale web sites and think about a session with a shemale. My wife and I have a good relationship and on occasions in the past I've had relations with other women. A few times with my wive I've worn some of her lingerie and sex was good. Also the last time I was away from home and had a massage I wore panties and a camisole. Some times I think of sex with men and wonder if I'm bi.

I am glad that you are open. If your fantacies are with men also you may be bi-sexual. Transs men can be heterosexual, gay or bi. I am glad your wife is open to sharing your fantacies with you, and I am glad that you have a supportive wife. Do you feel that you are a woman in a men's body? Are you comfortable with your body?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I am comfortable with my body for the most part - would like to be bigger rarther then average as far as my penis goes. My wife does not know about me doing anything with others and I don't plan to tell her. She is OK occasionally with me in her lingerie but I've never tried to dress in her clothes, as I have in sessions, including make-up, wigs, and a complete outfit. So I'm not 100% open with her. I hold back because I'm not sure she would understand - expecially me performimg oral and anal sex as awomen with toys.

I understand that this is difficult to talk about with your wife but I think it is important. You can start slow and make a few suggestions if she does not like the suggestions you can let it go. You never know until you ask. I think hiding a big secret like this is hard and takes a lot of energy. You can bring this up in therapy and do some role-play on telling your wife about your fantacies. Even if she does not react well at first you can give her a chance to get to know you more. I think you have nothing to loss if she panicks you back-off. I think giving your wife a chance to know this part of you may be liberating.
Penny Rayas, MFT and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Thanks so much for working with me let me know how it goes in the future.

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