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Dr. Olsen
Dr. Olsen, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2336
Experience:  PsyD Psychologist
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I generally have great periods of time when I am depressed

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I generally have great periods of time when I am depressed and I also consitently pick out the negative points of an other words positive coversation with my wife. I have strange thoughts and constantly catch my mind wondering when I am feeling for no other words off at that particular moment. I know my wife is faithful but I continue to do it. Why am I like this and why do I do what I do?
Hi there
Thank you for writing in here.
It sounds like you have signs of clinical depression.
When a person has depression, she or he tends to focus negative things about self, the other and life in general.
If you have depression, you"ll have a number of other symptoms:
You feel sad or unhappy all the time. You feel your future is hopeless and get worse.
As you look back, you see a lot of failures. You get very little pleasure from the things you used to enjoy.
You feel guilty most of the time. You dislike yourself. You blame yourself for everything bad that happens.
You feel suicidal. You feel like crying over every little thing.
You are so restless and agitated that it's hard to stay still.
You lose interest in anything. You have trouble making any decisions.
You feel worthless. You don't have energy to do very much.
You sleep a lot more or a lot less than usual.
You are irritable. You have no appetite at all or crave food all the time.
You have trouble concentrating on many things for very long.
You are too tired or fatigued to do a lot of the things you used to do.
You lose interest in sex.
Do you have many features above described?
If so, first of all, you may see your primary care doctor for a physical check up to detect and rule out if you have any medical condition that may cause those feelings in you.
If you are physically fine, you may benefit from seeing a psychologist weekly for several months until you feel better.
Cognitive-behavior therapy (CBT) may be effective for depression.
Let me know if you have more questions.
Best regards,
Dr. Olsen and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I understand that I may have depression issues that I need to deal with but I don't understand why it is rolling over into my marriage. At times I know I am making her feel bad because I say things that are more fear than fact and those make her feel like I don't trust her. I do trust her and it is more like I don't trust everyone else. Does that make sense?

Hi there,
Thank you for your reply.
It sounds like you are aware of your trust issues.
I wonder if you have unresolved issues from the past.
Are you close to your own parents ?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I am very close to my parents and my childhood was pretty good. Because I have depression I have always wondered if that amplified the fear when things feel off that I am going to loose my family?

Hi there
Thanks for your reply and positive feedback.
So, you are very close to your family. You had a happy childhood.
There seems no environmental factor that makes you feel this way.
Perhaps, you may be missing your original family environment.
Indeed, you stated you may be afraid of losing your family.
Have you had separation anxiety from loved ones when you were child or younger?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

My problem is I am a fixer I my life and with my wife. We had a huge argument and I don't feel right now because of how she is acting and saying that I can fix this one and it has cost me everything I love. I can't seem to get anything right or know what too say to make it right. She says she needs time and normal. Unfortunately that is not ny strong suit. "Patience". It is making me hurt to know we are not fine or truly know how this is going to turn out.

Hi there
Thanks for your reply.
It sounds like you and your wife are having problems to work through now.
I would advise you and your wife to see a marriage counselor (licensed therapist specializing in marriage counseling)
In your area.
Even several sessions may be helpful for you and your wife to resolve problems.