Thank you for writing in here.
It sounds like you have signs of clinical depression.
When a person has depression, she or he tends to focus negative things about self, the other and life in general.
If you have depression, you"ll have a number of other symptoms:
You feel sad
or unhappy all the time. You feel your future is hopeless and get worse.
As you look back, you see a lot of failures. You get very little pleasure from the things you used to enjoy.
You feel guilty most of the time. You dislike yourself. You blame yourself for everything bad that happens.
You feel suicidal. You feel like crying over every little thing.
You are so restless and agitated that it's hard to stay still.
You lose interest in anything. You have trouble making any decisions.
You feel worthless. You don't have energy to do very much.
You sleep a lot more or a lot less than usual.
You are irritable. You have no appetite at all or crave food all the time.
You have trouble concentrating on many things for very long.
You are too tired or fatigued to do a lot of the things you used to do.
You lose interest in sex.
Do you have many features above described?
If so, first of all, you may see your primary care doctor for a physical check up to detect and rule out if you have any medical condition that may cause those feelings in you.
If you are physically fine, you may benefit from seeing a psychologist weekly for several months until you feel better.
Cognitive-behavior therapy (CBT) may be effective for depression.
Let me know if you have more questions.