Mental Health

Have Mental Health Questions? Ask a Psychiatrist Online

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Mental Health
This answer was rated:

In short, I have anger issues and I have no idea why. I’m

In short, I have anger...
In short, I have anger issues and I have no idea why.
I’m fifty two (male) and my life is better right now than it’s ever been. I have no underlying stresses or pressures or frustrations. I just have a temper. I have had it my whole life, even as a child. Fortunately I am good at covering it around friends and family. Nobody really suspects it. But if I am in a situation that affords me anonymity – look out. Over the weekend I accidentally knocked over some cartons in a grocery store with my cart and I yelled obscenities. Last week I screamed out of my window at my neighbor (whom I don’t really know or interact with) because his dog was barking (it was a profanity-laced tirade). In traffic, I’ll often shoot the finger and/or roll down the window and scream at other drivers. I seem to have a very quick indignation trigger. In these times, I seem to have a sense of where to draw the line as far as physical confrontation. I can’t imaging I would ever hit someone and deep down I’m something of a chicken and would never risk screaming at someone I thought would physically confront me. But every time I engage in this behavior, I feel humiliation and embarrassment, throwing me into a depression that will last at least the balance of the day, if not longer. I swear each time I will not behave similarly ever again. I keep the promise only until the next opportunity arises for me to make a complete fool of myself.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve tried the counting to ten stuff. It’s a lifetime thing that I suspect requires a less superficial approach. Any ideas?
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Mental Health Question
Answered in 19 minutes by:
4/8/2013
Ryan LCSW
Ryan LCSW, Mental Health
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience: Individual and Family Therapist
Verified
Thanks for your question.

It sounds like you've correctly identified these anger problems and it does seem like it may require a more in depth approach towards working through them aside from counting to 10 and the typical ways that people try and calm down. It is a positive thing that you are able to manage this anger around the people who are most meaningful to you. If you don't ever express anger around these meaningful relationships, it is possible that these outbursts have become an outlet for you to express some of that frustration that you can safely direct toward people who don't know you as well. The fact that you tend to lash out in situations where you have more anonymity can meanthat you're not expressing enough of your anger around the people you care about. Obviously you don't want to lash out at people, but if you find yourself almost balancing extremes (very friendly or very angry depending on the people you are around) it is possible that this is mostly a matter of learning to find the balance in both situations.

In a lot of ways being anonymous affords you to express your emotions without too many negative consequences. This may have been a productive way of coping with your anger for some time, but if you find that this is continuing to get worse or leading to embarrassing or potentially dangerous situations, that does mean that it is time to examine this more seriously.

The ideal way to address this issue would be to meet with a psychologist or a licensed therapist in order to work on handling these emotions more effectively. If a lot of these anger outbursts are spontaneous reactions on your part, it is going to take some practice to slow that process down so that you can start to prepare and deescalate yourself before the situation gets out of hand. Preparing for situations that you know can be problematic can help, but you are also correct that if there are some underlying issues to this anger problem, that resolving those will make all of this much more manageable in general.

There is a good website www.healthgrades.com that you can use to find a psychologist or therapist in your area. If you need any help using the website please let me know and I would be happy to help. Otherwise, the fact that you are willing to admit and work on these anger issues is the first significant step in getting it under control. Often times the answer isn't always apparent at first, but if you are stuck, then talking through it with a professional can really help you to get a better understanding of yourself and how to have more control over these issues. I definitely wish you the best with all of this, and if there is anything else I can do to help please let me know.

Ryan
Ryan LCSW
Ryan LCSW, Mental Health
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience: Individual and Family Therapist
Verified
Ryan LCSW and 87 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Ask Ryan LCSW Your Own Question
Ryan LCSW
Ryan LCSW
Ryan LCSW, Mental Health
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
872 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Individual and Family Therapist

Ryan LCSW is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much

Corrie MollPretoria, South Africa

I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well!

ClaudiaAlbuquerque, NM

Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion.

KevinBeaverton, OR

Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
I feel better already! Thank you.

ElanorTracy, CA

Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem.

JulieLockesburg, AR

You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions.

John and StefanieTucson, AZ

I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!!

Janet VPhoenix, AZ

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

Dr. Keane

Dr. Keane

Therapist

1,379 satisfied customers

Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.

TherapistMarryAnn

TherapistMarryAnn

Therapist

3,984 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.

Dr. Olsen

Dr. Olsen

Psychologist

2,336 satisfied customers

PsyD Psychologist

Norman M.

Norman M.

Principal psychotherapist in private practice. Newspaper contributor, over 2000 satisfied clients on JA

2,246 satisfied customers

ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), ECP, UKCP Registered.

Dr. Michael

Dr. Michael

Psychologist

2,177 satisfied customers

Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.

Steven Olsen

Steven Olsen

Therapist

1,728 satisfied customers

More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education

Anna

Anna

Mental Health Professional

1,656 satisfied customers

Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.

< Previous | Next >

Related Mental Health Questions
I have a new job. It's highly stressful and I work hours
I have a new job. It's highly stressful and I work long hours sometimes 15 a day. I'm starting to have what I think are panic stacks. What do I do? … read more
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik
PSYCHIATRIST ( MD Psychiatry)
Doctoral Degree
203 satisfied customers
I'm going through a stressful period and would like some
I'm going through a stressful period and would like some relief from stress & pain, … read more
Dr. Thomas, MD
Dr. Thomas, MD
2,227 satisfied customers
I'm writing because I'm in a very stressful upsetting
Hi,I'm writing because I'm in a very stressful upsetting relationship, and I need to make sense of it. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. He is an angry guy by nature. I think he's a bit narci… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
717 satisfied customers
I want to stop using cilift 40 mg for post pardom stress
Good day. I want to stop using cilift 40 mg for post pardom stress disorder. Because I think it is the reason for my weight gain. Is it possible for weight gain Thank you… read more
Linda D.
Linda D.
Master\u0027s Degree
720 satisfied customers
I am recently divorced, working a stressful job, have over
I am recently divorced, working a stressful job, have over an hour drive each way to work in rush hour traffic, and worry a lot about things to the point of not having an appetite. I cycle to try to a… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
950 satisfied customers
What can I do to un-stress? I've painted my nails for the
What can I do to un-stress? I've painted my nails for the first time in ages, and my husband has court RIGHT NOW. I am just wishing for his wellness, and ours as a family. It's for him assaulting me, … read more
Dr. Phil, MD
Dr. Phil, MD
Internal Medicine Physician
Doctoral Degree
2,618 satisfied customers
I am stressing out at work because I work for a covert
I am stressing out at work because I work for a covert bully. He is a sociopath. He has made my life hell for two months. I am. Losing sleep and I carry stress in the pit of my stomach. I haven't been… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
165 satisfied customers
OKMH710211 If stress is too high, how do you meditate enough
OKMH710211 If stress is too high, how do you meditate enough to get more than an hour of sleep at a time?… read more
Patience
Patience
Mental Health Therapist
Master\u0027s Degree
116 satisfied customers
I I'm going through extreme stressful situation right now.
I I'm going through extreme stressful situation right now. My doctor prescribed valium to relax me but I have been on Paxil for many years. I get the sleep but wake up all adgitated. Ant ideas?? … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
717 satisfied customers
I've been under a lot of stress lately, and I'm hearing
I've been under a lot of stress lately, and I'm hearing voices that aren't really voices, they're there. They imply feelings of anger and frustration. And the only thing that comes to mind is "money i… read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
I have some stress because of my older sister Shazmin Lalji
Hi my name is***** have some stress because of my older sister Shazmin Lalji and her family. She always want to compete and it seems she can be skinny sometimes and other times she can be fat sometime… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
717 satisfied customers
OKMH126130 I have a brain fog it's been stressful and I was
OKMH126130 Hello I have a brain fog it's been stressful and I was not giving attention to my health one night 5 nights ago I smoked hash and I have been experiencing severe brain fog and sensitive to … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
717 satisfied customers
I am really under a lot of stress while at work. Denied
Denied promotional opportunities, retaliated against st. I went to the Dr on friday … read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
717 satisfied customers
Having so much stress with family I feel the I can't breath
Having so much stress with family I feel the I can't breath I don't have the patience for all there issues the they're having in there personal life!.. … read more
Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark
Doctoral Degree
129 satisfied customers
OKMH112211 POSTANSWER ive been stressing out for weeks now.
OKMH112211 POSTANSWER ive been stressing out for weeks now. I was working as a caregiver and my patient died day after christmas. My parents are mving out of california and my grandma needs to stay in… read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
Ive been really stressed out recently and have on a few days
Hi ive been really stressed out recently and have on a few days taken my sertraline about 8 hours late. Ive been really tearful again recently, is this because of the late doses do you think and feeli… read more
Dr. Phil, MD
Dr. Phil, MD
Internal Medicine Physician
Doctoral Degree
2,618 satisfied customers
Well, I have issues with severe Anxiety and stress. I have
Well, I have issues with severe Anxiety and stress. I have had a very hard time trying to find a local doctor to effectively treat my issues. I have first been put on Celexa for my anxiety, I took it … read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
OKMH1218211 I am going through a lot of stress from my place
OKMH1218211 Hello, I am going through a lot of stress from my place of employment. I find myself getting a lot snappier than I was before I started this job. I've had to take medical leave, and now I'… read more
LeahMSWuofm
LeahMSWuofm
Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
717 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x