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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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I think I just need to chat to someone. feeling lost

Customer Question

I think I just need to chat to someone. feeling lost

Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 4 years ago.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Good morning (for me anyhow).

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

How can I help you?

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You must be feeling sad or confused.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You have to type your response and then hit REPLY.

Customer:

Hi sorry, I really don't no what is wrong.. my family keep telling me I might be depressed but I really don't think I am.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

OK

Customer:

I have been trying to fall pregnant for over a year now, and that gets to me every now and again... I am waiting for a test to tell me if I am pregnant or not at the moment.. all I want to do at the moment is sleep.. I think it is from maybe a pregnancy but my family disagees

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

A pregnancy test can be done in minutes. What are your symptoms besides wanting to sleep?

Customer:

yes but I can't do it for 3 days..

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Are you married? Where do you live? With parents or husband/boyfriend?

Customer:

no motivation, cranky, fighting with my husband, getting annoyed at little things, just feel horrible

Customer:

I live with my husband

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Why do you have to wait for three days?

Customer:

I was just chatting to a doctor on here, I took one, two days before my period was due and it came back negative my period still hasn't shown up so I just have to wait 3 days now to see if it comes or not

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Whether or not you are pregnant does not explain your current behaviour. You are exhibiting the symptoms of depressions: sad, irritable, easily annoyed, having no motivation, wanting to sleep, and being generally sad. These are classic symptoms.

Customer:

I don't no why

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

It is probably due to you wanting so badly to become pregnant and not yet knowing for sure. You are not getting what you want more than almost anything else.

Customer:

that's very true!

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Many women who are trying to become pregnant and fail experience depression, and you are one of them.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

This is something that you want to fight.

Customer:

but how

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You cannot hope to get pregnant and have antidepressant medication inside of you. That is too risky.

Customer:

no I don't want them. my husband is one them and I know the effects when he forgets to take them. I don't want to become addicted to them like my dad is eithe

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You must get up, take walks, do exercise, work on chores, visit with supportive family and friends.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Is your dad depressed? What medication does he take that he is addicted to?

Customer:

I am holding fundraiser next year so I try to focus on that alot

Customer:

when my grandpa died he was.. but now when he doesn't take it you can't go near him

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Have you finished working on it? Have you finished all the details of the fundraiser?

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

What is the purpose of the fundraiser?

Customer:

no it will keep me very busy until the event which is Feb 2014

Customer:

it is for Ovarian Cancer

Customer:

??

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Sorry. We had a glitch for a few minutes but our chat is back

Customer:

that's ok

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You must concentrate your efforts on this fundraiser and getting everything perfect.

Customer:

yea it is my main focus

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

If you change the focus of your life away from worrying about being pregnant or not, and doing something else (including exercise as well - such as daily walks) then your depression will fade away.

Customer:

but is always in the back of my mind....

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You must get out of bed and use your thought processes and energy to help others who need your help, and whom you want to help. They need your full attention.

Customer:

its the getting out of bed, I am up all night until about 3am then I don't want to get out of bed. my sleep clock is backwards..

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Having it in the back of your head is alright but you are letting it dominate your life and pull you into a slump.

Customer:

and they say the more you think about it the less likely.. stop thinking about it and trying so hard and it will happen

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Have you taken any melatonin? It is a natural supplement available over the counter that can re-regulated your sleep clock (Circadian rhythm).

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You mean getting pregnant?

Customer:

no, I listen to mediation. it helps me fall asleep as I have insomnia but I just need to get my pattern back to normal and that is hard

Customer:

yeah

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Do you believe that things happen when they are supposed to happen?

Customer:

yeah absoultely

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Do you trust that God will let you become pregnant at the perfect time?

Customer:

yes and no

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Explain.

Customer:

I believed in god as a child. I went to a christen school and all that then I hit highschool and just lost it to fit in.. it just feels sometimes he doesn't want to help..

Customer:

I suppose I do.. I went through a stage in my teens and I prob would have ended up in jail or dead and then I met my husband, so in a way I do...

Customer:

I am confusing I know... sorry

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

If you had met your husband too soon or too late then your life might have been very different, or even have been over.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

No you are not confusing. Not at all.

Customer:

yeah like meeting my husband saved my life I believe

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Timing is everything..

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Your body has to be ready to receive the developing baby so that it is the healthiest it can be.

Customer:

I just feel my husband and I are so ready for this.. why isn't it happening

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Your body has to be ready. None of us can have what we want when we want it. Life is not like that and part of growing up is learning patience and learning to trust our bodies, and if we believe, it means learning to trust God and accept what we are given.

Customer:

I guess you are right, im just that fixed on being a mum

Customer:

my husband has a 4 year old... I love her to death but it kills me everytime we have her

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Being anxious or depressed is not being healthy and may even lower your chances of conceiving.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

That 4 year old needs your love as well. You have to learn to love that child too. Being able to use your maternal instincts to love another child will make those instincts and abilities grow.

Customer:

I should talk to my husband shouldn't I

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Absolutely. All the time.

Customer:

I do I love her like it is my own.. but that fact my hubby gets called dad and im just Holly hurts sometimes

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Does the little child love you?

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Is your name Holly?

Customer:

I just feel he doesn't get it. I know he cares but the last couple of days he has spoken two words to me... I feel like he doesn't appreciate what I do

Customer:

yeah she is beautiful

Customer:

yes my name is holly

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Does she have a birthmother that she calls mum or mommy?

Customer:

yeah she does

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

So you are the other woman that loves her, her daddy's wife. You are Holly and she loves you.

Customer:

yeah she does.. it just hurts. I guess I feel my husband doesn't understand how I feel because he has a child.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

And he is a man. He does not have your maternal instincts, which are a strong force in your life. Men do not have this instinct and you do, as all normal women seem to.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Your drives are strong.

Customer:

yeah,

Customer:

I just feel he doesn't get it. I know he cares but the last couple of days he has spoken two words to me... I feel like he doesn't appreciate what I do

Customer:

its hard to talk to him about things like this

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

How is your relationship otherwise?

Customer:

great we only just got married in oct last year.. it has its ups and downs but we have a great relationship

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You will have to understand that there are differences. I have a great book for both of you to read so that you can understand each other. Would you be willing to read it?

Customer:

I will, I doubt he would

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Well, you will have to read it and teach him what you learn. It is a fun book about the differences between men and women and is something you should both know and understand.

Customer:

sounds good to me

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I will give you a link from Collins Books in Australia.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Give me a minute.

Customer:

thank you

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :
Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

It may be available in CD as well.

Customer:

thanks.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Yes, it is ! !

Customer:

oh great

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

He might be willing to listen.

Customer:

listen and hear what im saying are two different things thou

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

If he hears it a few times (as you will probably want to play it more than once), the something will sink in.

Customer:

I guess you right

Customer:

maybe I should record what I want to say and just have it on repeat all the time

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Anyhow, YOU will become the expert and help smooth things out by understanding the differences and working with him

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

LOL

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You are looking for trouble? :)

Customer:

these a the links to my facebook and website, it you wanted to have a look... http://ovariancanceraustralia.gofundraise.com.au/page/TDOMatthews

Customer:

haha maybe that is what I need

Customer:

:)

Customer:

we would greatly appericate any donation

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I will look it over.

Customer:

thanks..

Customer:

thank you for your time tonight I feel a little better

Customer:

and I guess my family was right

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

And you shall recover and will be a fabulous mother. You have what it takes. Get the CD today and it will help you and your husband understand each other better.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I shall keep you in my prayers.

Customer:

thank you I will keep your name handy

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Thank you. Just ask for Elliott and I will soon appear like the genie out of the lamp. :)

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :
Warm regards,
Customer:

sounds great

Customer:

thank you again!!
Good night or morning

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Elliott, MAE, LPCCl, NCC, CCMHC

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

G'day !