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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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I am afraid of my wife being mad at me - how can I deal with

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I am afraid of my wife being mad at me - how can I deal with this?
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.
It can be difficult when your spouse is angry. You are at your most vulnerable with someone you care deeply about. And when you care, it is easier to be hurt.
Your fear is possibly rooted in your past. You may have been hurt in the past by a caregiver or felt overwhelmed and afraid when your parents or caregiver were upset with you. Sometimes abuse can be the cause through a parent who had anger issues. When you have someone the size of an adult angry at you and you are a defenseless child, anyone who becomes angry with you can bring those feelings back making you fearful.
One option you might try is counseling. You can either go yourself to explore why you feel as you do and learn ways to cope, or you can ask your wife to come along with you. Having someone like a therapist there to act as a go between will help give you a barrier between you and your wife so you feel better about expressing your needs to her.
The therapist can also help you get to the root of why you feel as you do so you can work on ways to resolve it. For example, if you have abuse in your past, talking about how you feel about what happened to you can reduce your fear and help you feel more confident when you face your wife being angry at you.
You can also try talking to your wife about what you feel. Let her know that her anger upsets you and that when she gets angry, you might need some time to calm down. Request that she agree to taking a break so you both can approach any issues when you feel calmer. Practice taking a deep breath when you are faced with anger. Then return to the discussion. That can make it easier to work out your issues.
I hope this helps you,
TherapistMarryAnn and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Thank you very much for the positive rating and bonus! I appreciate it.
Take care,

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