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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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I've been seeing the same therapist who is a LSW for over a

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Hello...I've been seeing the same therapist who is a LSW for over a year and feel a disconnect between us and every time I bring up the subject of BPD he blows me off and says I'm fine.Also, he doesn't seem to respect that my chronic fatigue syndrome is real and debilitating. i also think I would do better with an addiction therapist since I am a recovering alcoholic. what could I do?I don't want to make this therapist mad.Thanks

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Dear friend,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I believe that I can help you.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

A therapist should not become angry. They are there to help you and have to work with all kinds of people with caring and great empathy. If you are intimidated by him then you should see someone else, but not an addiction counselor if you are not there to treat an addiciton.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Here are the criteria for BPD. See if they fit you.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

For your enlightenment and information here are the official criteria for BPD from the psychiatric diagnostic "bible", the DSM-IV.

BPD – DSM-IV

1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.

2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterised by alternation between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

3. Identity disturbance - markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging, e.g. spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving or binge-eating.

5. Recurrent suicidal behaviour, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behaviour.

6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood, e.g. intense episodic dysphoria, irritability or anxiety, which usually lasts for between a few hours and several days.

7. Chronic feelings of emptiness

8. Inappropriate, intense anger, or difficulty controlling anger, e.g. frequent displays of temper, constant anger or recurrent physical fights.

9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

Anyone with six or more of the above traits and symptoms may be diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. However, the traits must be long-standing (pervasive), and there must be no better explanation for them, e.g. physical illness, a different mental illness or substance misuse.



Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

If this seems to fit you, the you should find a therapist who works with BPD and personality disorders.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You can go to

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

www.psychologytoday.com

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :


enter your state and city and then on the left you can choose Borderline Personality Disorder under issues, and then read carefully for someone who seems most qualified for this.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :


The therapist is for you. Don't worry about the therapist. You should be able to say what you want and he should never blow off your concerns. I do not recommend continuing with such a person.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :


If that makes him angry then he needs to find his own therapist to help him.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I shall keep you in my prayers.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Warm regards,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thanks so much. Does hitting oneself fall into the category of self mutilating behavior?

My concern is that I have been going to this hospital-based practice since 2006 and have had 2 female and one male therapist . I fear if I ask for a new one I will be "branded" a troublemaker but I really want to work with someone new and have them discuss the possibility of BPD with me.

How frequently do clients change therapists and what are usually the reasons?Thanks

Dear friend,

Yes, hitting yourself does account as a self-mutilating or suicidal gesture. It is short of stabbing, and may be short of anorexia or banging your head against the wall. The purpose of such gestures is to relieve the inner pain that you feel from being ignored or abandoned, or believing that you have been abandoned.

Being a former alcoholic could also be a part of the abuse or reckless behavior that you have portrayed.

Having a therapist who does not empathize with you or seem to understand you pain and your needs is about as useful as having a surgeon who amputates the good leg.

If you are not comfortable with a therapist then you should, in a kind a mature manner (because therapists have "issues" too) ask for someone else. Incompatibility is the perfect reason. You do not have to go into detail. Just say that you don't feel comfortable with the current one.

I have learned since being in this profession that not all therapists are the same. Some are wonderful and some are quite harmful or ineffective. It is the caliber and quality of the person whether they are LPCC or LMFT or LCSW or Psychologist or Psychiatrist.

Always go for the person that makes you feel better and guides you away from your dysfunctional behavior.

I wish you courage and great success.

Warm regards,

Elliott
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