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I have a sex issues with my wife. Before marriage we spent 2

Hi Doctor, I have a...

Hi Doctor, I have a sex issues with my wife. Before marriage we spent 2 years together and every time we did forplay and not sex. But after wedding when I am trying to do sex with her I pennies dint get hard. its been four months we did try but I couldn't get success. Can you tell me what could be the reason, Why cant I do that. Do you think there is any problem with me. Do I need to contact with doctor and take some medicine...

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Answered in 1 hour by:
4/3/2013
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7,664
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Verified
Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Dear friend,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I believe that I can help you.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

May I ask you some questions?

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

How old are you?

JACUSTOMER-jstn0cr1- :

I am 26th

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Do you suffer from any disorders or illnesses?

JACUSTOMER-jstn0cr1- :

no

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Are you taking any medications?

JACUSTOMER-jstn0cr1- :

No i dint take any medicine

JACUSTOMER-jstn0cr1- :

I did take viagra 25 mg one time but its also not effective

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Do you suffer from anxiety or depression?

JACUSTOMER-jstn0cr1- :

I guess yes

JACUSTOMER-jstn0cr1- :

At the first night after my marriage I got the anxielty how can I do it...

JACUSTOMER-jstn0cr1- :

and all

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Do you think it is just a question of anxiety then? Fear of failure?

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Fear of failure can actually make you fail.

JACUSTOMER-jstn0cr1- :

during this 4 month of my relationship we also even fought

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

What did you fight about?

JACUSTOMER-jstn0cr1- :

Yeah may be you can say feal of failuer. because even time when i am trying to do for fisrt few minutes I enjoy a lot but after my focus all they way divert to my penis.

JACUSTOMER-jstn0cr1- :

means me and my wife had a fight about my problem..

JACUSTOMER-jstn0cr1- :

Do you think might be there is some problem with mw

JACUSTOMER-jstn0cr1- :

me

JACUSTOMER-jstn0cr1- :

I never did sex in my life and now i am getting so trouble to do it

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

What country do you and your wife come from?

JACUSTOMER-jstn0cr1- :

Do you think we should consult with local doctor and take some medicins

JACUSTOMER-jstn0cr1- :

We are from india

JACUSTOMER-jstn0cr1- :

now we live in USA

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You could go to your local doctor and get more Viagra or the somewhat more effective Cialis or Levitra.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You could also go to a sex therapist who could help you even more. with counseling.

JACUSTOMER-jstn0cr1- :

do you think can it be solved or its permanent issue with me

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

The best way to find such a counselor is to go to the following website:

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

http://aasect.org/directory_usa.asp

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You can be helped. This is a question of anxiety, I believe.

JACUSTOMER-jstn0cr1- :

because I didnt do drug before, i didnt get any physical injury before

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You could also go to your local physician and ask for an antianxiety medication that will not hurt your sexual function, and that would be bupropion (Wellbutrin).

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You have anxiety. You are worrying so much that you have trouble with sex. Your wife is not being understanding and this makes it worse.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You can be helped.

JACUSTOMER-jstn0cr1- :

Did you see this kind of issue before with some one else

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Yes, very often.

JACUSTOMER-jstn0cr1- :

Okay

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

The website I gave you is to help find a sex therapist. They are the best ones to cure you.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You will be fine.

JACUSTOMER-jstn0cr1- :

Okay I will see that..

JACUSTOMER-jstn0cr1- :

Just have one question because we did foreplay for almost 1 and half year and now when we are doing sex that also time we are following same procedure

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Make sure to get the help I recommended..

JACUSTOMER-jstn0cr1- :

Yeah sure I will do that....I dnt think any other options

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

It is anxiety and you will get help. I am sure. You are young and healthy.

JACUSTOMER-jstn0cr1- :

you suggestion would be better to go with sex therapist instead of going sexologist doctor

JACUSTOMER-jstn0cr1- :

Is there any exercise for this ?

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Yes. Sex therapists are the best experts. They are mental health professionals with additional training and they help situations like yours.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

There are exercises called Kegel exercises. They are often used for urinary incontinence, but they strengthen your control in your pelvic area. You can try these exercises which are often used for strengthening men's sexual ability.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

http://men.webmd.com/kegel-exercises-treating-male-urinary-incontinence

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

They are not just for urinary incontinence.

JACUSTOMER-jstn0cr1- :

Okay...Every day and every night I am thinking about like we are loosing our days and all.....

JACUSTOMER-jstn0cr1- :

Thanks for the concern

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

I shall keep you and your wife in my prayers.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

You WILL overcome this.

JACUSTOMER-jstn0cr1- :

do you think to do sex in different place would be nice option

Elliott, LPCC, NCC :

Thank you. ***** bless your family.

Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7,664
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Verified
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and 87 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7,664
7,664 Satisfied Customers
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.

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Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

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