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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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I am an 19 year old man from Flesherton Ontario. I've

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Hello. My name is***** and I am an 19 year old man from Flesherton Ontario. I've suffered with severe low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression since I was 13 years old, as a result of bullying. After about 5 years of living with these terrible conditions, I became fed up with it and began pursuing a solution to my cognitive behavioral problems.
I eventually stumbled upon hypnosis. I began researching how hypnosis can help eliminate a persons negative self image, and replace it with new, and positive image through the use of self affirmations. I felt like I had stumbled upon the holy grail, but there was just one potential problem that seemed to threaten my success with hypnosis. "Would hypnosis work on me?"
I began to make plans to visit a local hypnotherapists but before this plan came into action, I stumbled upon a subliminal hypnosis program online called MindMaster. Because I had negative thought patterns practically hard wired into my brain, I was anything but optimistic about the results it would bring. Despite my skepticism the results where dramatic! Within days my character, my attitude, and my way of thinking had been completely transformed and flipped upside down. It allowed me to change my way of thinking completely, in any way I wanted. So much so that I practically exploded with passion and began telling all of my friends about it, and how miraculous it is. Little did I know it would soon come crashing to a end.
Every human being has the desire to be happy, but every human being also has the desire to feel safe. My desire to become self confident stemmed from my desire to be happy and successful. But through my repetitive painful childhood experiences, my subconscious was trained to believe that such happiness leads to heart break, thus creating a conflict between my desire to be happy, and my desire to feel safe.
Based on this conflict my subconscious would resist any potential for self improvement, considering that their is a known way of doing so. And that is the exact situation I unknowingly lead myself into. Once I learned how the Subliminal hypnosis functioned, my subconscious became resistant towards it. Therefore, the ominous task of easing my mind into acceptance, was my next task, and my only hope for success.
I refused to give up, I was in too desperate need of it to just give it up so easily. I had lived so much of my life in fear that I had long forgotten how it felt to be at peace of mind. It showed me that I have huge potential in a large variety of fields that I would be interested in pursing, but I would have virtually no chance achieving such goals with almost no self confidence to speak of.
I began by realizing that if hypnosis could be used to potentially change any aspect of a persons mind, then it would be reasonable to assume that I could use hypnosis to train my subconscious to believe that it is safe to be happy. Thus destroying the conflict between the two conflicting desires, which would allow my mind to be completely submissive towards hypnotic suggestion. This was NOT a easy task but through much perseverance, and the will to keep going. I managed to nearly think my way out of this rut completely, and have a smooth sailing and successful recovery from thereon.
Deep down, the last thing my subconscious wanted to do was change, therefore i subconsciously resisted any attempt I made to create a submissive response towards hypnosis, therefore it took a lot of experimenting with different affirmations, and a lot of failures before any successes. More or less iv been doing the work of a hypnotherapist myself because I have had much success with my self diagnostics regarding my problems and solutions to problems.
But now I feel as thought I have come to a problem that ventures outside of my understanding I need help in order to target the root of a new fear that has emerged, which prevents the self affirmations from taking effect once again.
Two days ago I was having great success with hypnosis and things began to look promising, "once again". Until a particular though process invoked a deep, and complex fear that I cannot seem to identify. What I am asking for, is help in identifying this fear or tips on identifying the root of my fear, i.e. (asking myself certain questions), given the information that I can provide about the fear that is pertinent. Once I believe I have discovered the identity of the fear, I develop a positive affirmation that directly attacks and neutralizes the beliefs connected to the fear using hypnosis. But so far the root remains, despite my attempts.
Context and information:
-Mom believes hypnosis does nothing, despite the evidence of it's effectiveness on me.
-I was feeling elated about my success, and contemplating places the future would take me.
-I imaged being successful and proving to my Mom that its effective.
But the thought of that, or the failure of that Invoked the fear.


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Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear Conrad,

I read with great interest your history of self-examination and of the progress you have made with your own version of self-affirmation or cognitive behavioural therapy using the techniques of hypnotherapy that you developed for your own enlightenment and approval.

You are also a very mature and articulate person; I found it enjoyable to follow your information.

You have unwittingly revealed some very important information that may further enlighten you as to part of your cause of low self-esteem and negative self-image.

Let me repeat the key phrases, unedited by italicized and marked in bold in key places:

-Mom believes hypnosis does nothing, despite the evidence of it's effectiveness on me.

-I imaged being successful and proving to my Mom that its effective.

It seems to me that your mother's lack of support and belief in you is something that you have been struggling with for a long time and may be part of the key to your low self-esteem.

Does she control you in a sense by withholding praise or support?

Do you dependent on her for that support and does the lack of it set you back?

I urge you to consider the possibility.

I might also recommend this workbook which is a manner of self-training towards raising self-esteem:

The Self-Esteem Workbook by Glenn R. Schiraldi

Thank you for considering my thoughts.

I wish you great success in continuing to exercise your keen intellect for your own good and for the good of others.

Warm regards,


Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Before I even reviewed your answer, I had already identified the root, and I am working at eliminating it.

It seemed to look more complex and hopeless then it really was, which makes sense considering my negative mindset. I suppose I went to an expert in vein but, oh well. I'll just be happy that the problem doesn't still remain. :)

Considering that I have put obsessive amounts of though into my self image, I feel as though I have considered every possible thing that might have potentially contributed to my negative self image.

With that said, I have already considered the possibility that my parent's lack of praise and or support could be a potential cause towards my negative self image. My Mother and Father where some of the few people who supported me positively, but unfortunately it would seem as though it was not enough to offset the negativity I experienced, but fortunately enough, none of this is set in stone.

As far as I know, that is the way it was. I am simply going based on what I remember, and from what I do remember, it seems as though they we're perhaps the most supportive and encouraging people I had in my life, but the opposing negativity I experienced was so severe, I had developed a very toxic mindset, where I simply refused to believe that I was loved, cared for, important, in anyway or by anyone. Even though my parent's loved me and expressed that love to me, I still today, seem to refuse to believe that deep down they love me, even though my conscious mind KNOWS it to be true..

It's like a girl, who's heart was broken by Men, countless times. After enough repetition, she learns to trust no one with her heart, even if the right guy that she is safe to trust, comes along. Each boyfriend is a completely different person from the rest, but based on her experiences with the other Men, she cannot help but feel the same potential danger, with any other man.

Even though it was the bullies that treated me bad and not my parents, the negative experiences iv had with people, has created this deep rooted fear inside me that is objectively applied to EVERY and ANY human being. More so on some, then others.

Thank you for your expert advice on this situation, and I ask that if I make any false statements or presumptions that you are aware of, feel free to correct me. I am not the expert with this, you are.

Conrad R

Dear Conrad,

You are very welcome. I shall try to help you more.

You are saying that you have been traumatized and now have trust issues with your parents who have apparently let you down by not giving you the support that you need.

You are in a state of hopelessness to a certain extent ('contacted an expert in vain, more complex and hopeless than you thought at first, I refuse to believe that deep down they love me, like a girl whose heart was broken'). This is depression, and it is compounded with obsessive thinking and compulsive attempts at self-therapy.

Now that I have seen your thinking in more detail, I urge you to see a therapist face to face to try to change your thinking.

That is the basis of CBT or cognitive behaviour therapy, which like hypnosis is used to change your thinking and behaviour.

Let me recommend a two other books for you. I believe that you have the intellect to benefit from them. You do not have full blown OCD but you have compulsive thinking and this book will help to retrain you.

The OCD Workbook: Your Guide to Breaking Free from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder by Bruce M. Hyman and Cherlene Pedrick

Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think by ***** *****berger and Christine A. Padesky (

I believe these books will help you a great deal.

Warm regards,

Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thank you. I will check out all of the books you recommended, and I will also try to set aside money to see a therapist. Given the financial situation I am in, it will take time to save up enough money. Unless their is a potential way I can qualify for free therapeutic help.

Dear Conrad,

You are very welcome.

Canada is the only G8 nation without a national mental health strategy and mental health is the most under-serviced part of the health care system. Nevertheless the are programs at some colleges that sometimes take clients to work with student therapists who are also under supervision.These programs are very local and you will have to make inquiry about them and about other possibilities of inexpensive or pro bono services.

I wish you great success.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

It's very unfortunate I think that mental health is so under serviced. You simply cannot put a price on a persons mental health, when it is what completely determines the quality of any given persons life.

Dear Conrad,

I completely agree with you, not only from indirect observation but from personal experience.

If you think about it, there is a price everyone's health today and always. Money talks and not everyone walks.

I am happy to help you.

Warm regards,