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psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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I am a gay guy. In a relationship for 5 years now. But I

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I am a gay guy. In a relationship for 5 years now. But I don't want sex. How can I mentally convince myself?
It is sometime helpful to take the focus off sex and place this on romance. Sex can be an extension of a lack of romance and need to be together in a fresh intimate way. People often create romantic nights so that you can recreate the early part of your relationship. These can be scheduled so that time is set aside for just this purpose. You can also create this scenario in your home by for instance making a romantic dinner. Make time just for this! The other option is to create foreplay but not the pressure of sex. Play a naughty game or give each other a massage. When you take the pressure off to perform you might have better results. You can also find resources from the experts such as the Joy of Sex to get innovative ideas as to how to work up to sexual intercourse. Get your partner involved. You can't force this but you can set the scene early and see what your feelings are then.
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