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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1768
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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Dear Dr. Keane, I have applied to some job positions. I am

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Dear Dr. Keane, I have applied to some job positions. I am trying not to feel negative, even though I have some experience, I am relying on mostly transferrable skills (as my mum pointed out), so I’m not holding too much hope for myself or at least, I am not sure how positive or negative that is. I have also been feeling rather guilty that I cannot yet move out, when I know for my mum's health they want to due to her mobility or lack of it, but now are waiting until I move, which I can't until I get another job. I feel terrible knowing this…….I also find myself thinking about what I used to write in my posts to you and how I felt and I don’t know if it’s a good thing to think about that or not, but I do, especially around this time of year. I should say that I think about your responses as well. I was thinking about a post you replied to ages ago and how you’d said that I’m not silly and the times you said you are still willing to help when you are here, so I’m going on that thought and sending this anyway and the fact that you've always said that you will help. I also want to say that I appreciated you telling me how you feel at tense moments. That was interesting and possibly helps you to be so understanding in your profession. I hope that I didn’t let you down when I felt so tense recently, as I am aware that I am lucky to be able to have such friendly support and advice from you. I am glad that breathing also helps for you too and that you get on with your life. I am also glad that you practice what you preach as the saying goes, not that I have ever doubted that you don't by the way. I didn’t mean to go on about how tense I was feeling……. I hope you had a good weekend and Call the Midwife I think starts up again around the end of the month for you, as far as I could find out anyway. I hope to catch up with you for a chat. If we don't manage to chat today then I look forward to your response.

Dr.Keane :

Hi, you sound a bit stressed today. I'm sorry you feel the pressure of having to move when you change jobs and not having a new job secured. If you give yourself some hope, and keep pursuing employment opportunities. You are doing the best you can and have been for quite awhile, so don't feel guilty about it. Keep looking forward, know that it will happen one day even if it takes longer than you'd wish. Guilt serves no purpose. I hope you hear from the job prospects and get an interview or two or more. It is not easy but you have skills, probably some you aren't even aware of so just focus on positives. Spring is coming and it sounds like you are ready for the change.

Customer: Hi
Customer: I am here
Customer: yes I have been a bit stressed today.
Customer: ah, so you are still here
Dr.Keane :

Hi, that was strange..

Dr.Keane :

showed you on and then off...but you are here

Customer: technology can do strange things
Dr.Keane :

are you feeling better

Customer: a little. Give me a moment and I am going to read what you've written.
Customer: yes, I don't quite know why I've been a bit stressed this week or at least today.
Customer: probably silly thoughts and silly things.
Dr.Keane :

don't discount your feelings, they aren't silly

Dr.Keane :

maybe a bit of over thinking

Customer: I didn't think I was overthinking, but it could be a factor that I haven't realised.
Dr.Keane :

Are you feeling pressure from you parents? have they actually stated that they want to move as soon as you find another job?

Customer: no not in so many words but I know that would be right for them. They aren't pressurising me but I feel like I am standing in their way.
Dr.Keane :

I would guess that you are putting the pressure on yourself because of your own expectations.

Customer: They've not exactly been that supportive either. I told them what I was doing and they're all like, well you do know you've no experience of course and that sort of thing.
Dr.Keane :

I can see that, so instead of encouraging you they tell you the negatives.

Dr.Keane :

You can handle it, you know better now not to count on other's opinions, you know you have the ability to handle new experiences and grow from them.

Customer: Yes I probably have been putting pressure on myself. I always do that and then I end up holding myself back and thinking of all the uncertainties and thinking of all the things I might end up not being able to do or not being good enough.
Customer: yes, I am glad you understand.
Dr.Keane :

But you know you are capable and good enough.

Customer: I am just having a bad day, that's all. sorry.
Dr.Keane :

So don't stay focused on what others have to say, parents or not. Action speaks louder than words, keep on looking forward and stop saying sorry!!! you have nothing to be sorry about. (not scolding, just making you aware :)

Customer: :)
Dr.Keane :

If you hear from one of the jobs your applied for great, but the ideal thing to do is not have any expectations, especially in this market. If you keep applying to whatever position interests you, something will happen. It may take 10 applications or 100, no matter how many you attempt, you only need one opportunity.

Dr.Keane :

Make sense?

Customer: that is very true, and no I don't have any real expectations
Dr.Keane :

Good, don't have expectations, have opportunities to try and you'll get results.

Customer: I don't know why but it's always around this time of year I feel stressed, I mean I know I do anyway, but nnore so.
Customer: oops, meant to say but more so. Possibly as you say, from overthinking.
Dr.Keane :

It sounds like you are ready for some sun, flowers and warmth, winter is too long !!

Customer: we have snow
Customer: we have had it very nice and now it's gone all wintry.
Dr.Keane :

Been long winter and snow be gone, know I'm ready for some flowers to pop through!

Dr.Keane :

deep breaths it will get here soon.

Customer: the weird thing is that sometimes when the sun is out, I think of all the times I ave felt guilty about doing nice things
Dr.Keane :

Need to get outside more and spend time doing nice things without feeling guilty.

Customer: of course, spring must arrive later with you. We have some flowers popping through.
Dr.Keane :

hold on....

Customer: I am trying to get outside more and do nice things at the weekends.
Customer: okay, holding on.
Customer: I did go out for a really long walk recently with a friend, which was nice. Cold and snowy but fun.
Customer: It must be nicer to be able to walk your dog when the sunshine comes too.
Dr.Keane :

hold on

Customer: still holding on
Dr.Keane :

back sorry, work call

Customer: okay, no problem
Customer: it happens.
Dr.Keane :

everything is nicer when it's sunny!

Customer: that's true....Thanks for coming back online after your call.
Customer: I think I mentioned Call the Midwife is perhaps on in the US around the end of the month, so I once read anyway.
Dr.Keane :

:) one thing I think might be good for you is to try not to think too much about what use to be, focus on today and what you want. Going back over old "stuff" serves no real purpose other than to see how far you have come since then.

Dr.Keane :

CTM, looking forward to that, didn't check to see when it is coming on so thanks for giving me a heads up on it

Customer: you are welcome! Glad to be of some use to you too.
Customer: I will try and not think of old stuff then.
Dr.Keane :

ok, you are feeling a bit better so I had better get back to work here. Hope spring arrives soon for you!

Customer: thank you for chatting, hope to talk again soon to you.
Dr.Keane :

good, have a good nights sleep!

Customer: I am sure spring weather will come back again soon for us
Customer: thank you! You too when night comes.
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