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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5808
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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I a have a friend who shared OKMH315211

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I a have a friend who shared some alarming information with me. I am not sure how to deal with it.She said that her her sister was having qa hard time living with her husband. He was an alcoholic and was physically violent with her. Shari invited her sister to stay with her family. Shari was husband was dead set against his sister in law staying with them. One day Shari was at work and came home early. She found her sister naked and passed out on their couch. Shari saw her husband who stated that's your problem in their. Shari felt betrayed. She went against her husband's wishes and let her stay with her family. Shari was so enraged that while her sister was passed out she beat the living crap out of her. The sister was over an hour in the bathroom trying to clean up. My question is in order for the two to get a relationship going again her sister needs to make an apology. Shari doesn't feel she owes her sister an apology. Shari asked me my opinon I said what does your conscience tell you. Shari said no apology. I never thought my friend to be this violent. She has made other remarks about her rage. Thanks for your help GaryM

Hello Gary, I'd like to help you with your question.

It sounds like your friend might have taken all of her frustration out on her sister. She seemed to be looking to her sister to help her with her abusive husband who was already upsetting things by his behavior. Now she comes home and finds her sister, who she depended on, doing something to hurt her. Most likely, this triggered your friend's pent up rage and since it was safe to express this with her own sister, she took it out on her.

Both people in the situation need to apologize. Your friend should probably do so first. She inflicted a lot of pain on her sister that was uncalled for and most likely had more to do with her own issues than what her sister did. But her sister was also causing issues in an already upsetting situation so she needs to say she is sorry as well. If neither will apologize or only one will, then the relationship between them might be damaged for now. Hopefully, they both will have time to calm down and think this all through and decide to become friends again.

I hope this has helped you,
TherapistMarryAnn and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Thank you very much for the positive rating and bonus! I appreciate it.

My best to you and your friend,