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Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark, Psychotherapist
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Wife age 51 has trigeminal neuropathic pain (tnp) began 4.5

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wife age 51 has trigeminal neuropathic pain (tnp) began 4.5 years ago...we have not had sex in 12 years...she claims lack of sex caused it....please advise.

Hi! I'll be glad to be of help with this issue.

I can imagine how difficult this situation must be for you. Your wife has a painful and difficult condition and has placed the blame on something that involves you and the marriage. This is for sure hurtful to you.

There are a number of physiological causes for TNP that are identified. MS or tumors, for example, can lead to TNP. However, TNP occurs mostly in people who are "aging" and the cause is most often not able to be identified. It is easier to identify things that can bring it on once the person has TNP, to identify what are called triggers. But to identify the actual cause is very difficult.

Here is the Mayo Clinic entry for it. You'll have to scroll through a number of pages as it's rather long:

It certainly sounds as though blaming it on the lack of sex in the marriage is a cry of anguish on your wife's part. And it sounds from what you write as though it is hurtful to you to have her blame this. There is no way to prove or disprove it. There is no evidence for such a claim, though. There has been no medical or psychological literature linking TNP to abstinence from

Okay, I wish you the very best!

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