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Ryan LCSW, Mental Health
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  Individual and Family Therapist
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I have just been diagnosed with Narcissistic personality

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I have just been diagnosed with Narcissistic personality Disorder (wow). I initially went to a psychologist to address some anger issues I have. After going for quite some time I was not feeling like I was getting anything out of the therapy and very plainly told the pysochologist that she needed to be more clear with me, give me a diagnosis, perscription or something, anything. I did not do this in an angry way, more of a desperate pleading.
The psychologist requested I look up the disorder and tell her what part of the diagnosis do i identify with. Well after reading about NPD I do recognize some of the traits but the no empathy, and feeling of self importance could not be farther from the mark of what I feel inside.
my parent were divorced wheni was a child and I was sexually abused at the age of 13-14.
I feel my anger is from being put down by my wife in a very nasty manner and the lack of any sort of structure for the family or budget to live by.
I know that I take out things on my kids (5-7) that are a direct result of not being able to manage my relationship with my wife, not physically but I seem to lose my temper and yell about once a month or so.
I know one the symptoms is denial but I went to her (the pyschologist) for help, my wife refuses to go, I do have problems but am having a hard time seeing NPD when they talk about putting down others to make myself feel good, being grandios, self absorbed! I was approached earlier this year to be a Cub Scout Leader and they usually do not go after the Charlie Sheen type?
I am thinking about gettng another opinion or something.
Any input would be appreciated.

Hi Tim, thanks for your question.

I agree that the Cub Scouts don't tend to go after the Charlie Sheen type. I also agree that reaching out for help and taking responsibility for some of these problems is not typically be something that a person who has NPD would do. There is a difference between having Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and having some narcissistic traits to your personality. Someone with this personality disorder has very little capacity to change, because they refuse to accept or acknowledge that they are part of the problem. That does not seem to be the case here, which means that these are typically issues that can be solved.

From what you described, the problem could certainly be what you identified, which is a combination of a lack of structure, budget, communication problems with your wife, and possibly the lingering effects of being sexually abused. This combined with some difficulties in managing your anger can definitely create some problems that would resemble NPD. The difficulty with all of the problems that you mentioned is that a diagnosis or a prescription isn't going to resolve it or get you much further. It sounds like it is a combination of many factors that are going to require some time to process and work on. However, it does seem like your wife plays a crucial role in this, and if she refuses to go it may only be possible to make a certain amount of progress until she is willing to work with you.

At this point it seems like your relationship is the focal point of a lot of the issues, and resolving some of those problems, including the way you handle your anger, may make a big difference in some of these narcissistic characteristics that you may have noticed. While a personality disorder may be possible, there are a lot of other factors that are contributing to this, and you may see the biggest difference after making progress with some of these other issues. I definitely wish you the best with all of this, and if you have any other questions or if there is anything else I can do to help please let me know.

Ryan LCSW and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

Hey there, I never heard back from you so I hope that I was able to help you out. If there's anything else I can do to help just let me know, otherwise if you wouldn't mind leaving me a positive review for my time I'd really appreciate it. Thanks.


Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Sorry about the last two messages, I did not mean to send them!

I feel like I am suck in a bad situation, I feel that I have to prove somehow to the existing psychologist that I am not NPD because i feel this whole thing will end in a divorce and I will be limitied from seeing my kids or even banned from seeing them without supervision. I think i am going to continue with the current psychologist and try and find another one that will give their input on my state of mind.

Unfortunately i will have to go with someone from my Ins. Co. list. What is the best way to find and engage a "Good" psychologist?