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psychlady, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  Psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of a variety of mental health issues.
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I am a 24 year old female and I can't stop comparing myself

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I am a 24 year old female and I can't stop comparing myself to other girls. I'd really like a boyfriend but the girls I see with boys are always pretty and thin. I'm not like that. I'm fat and ugly. I think of how lucky other girls are and I want to cut myself. How can I stop comparing myself to them?
What you are doing is called comparing out.. This usually comes from poor self esteem. You should do some serious work in self esteem building. You can do this with a therapist or with local book store aides. My favorite is the Self Esteem Work book.. If you begin to value yourself then you won't need to compare yourself with others. Sometimes there are groups in a community that address this professionally. Look for social activities that do this as well. Instead of comparing you build a strong sense of self value. Sometimes if you see someone professionally you will feel less compelled to look towards others. In addition this will move you away from describing yourself as ugly. When your perception is that you are ugly then you will feel ugly. The perception that you are ugly has to be addressed as soon as possible because if you label yourself that way then your mind will follow. Find resources that address self esteem and how we see ourselves. There use to be What Color I your Parachute. Old resource or new it doesn't matter.
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