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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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I am 42 and am depressed and angry and overwhelmed. With the

Customer Question

I am 42 and am depressed and angry and overwhelmed. With the real estate decline I lost my entire networth (but I feel I am rebuilding that) my issue appears to be that years ago my ex husband did something illegal. This was reputaton destroying and resulted in folks putting signs on the lawn, driving by, playing ding dong ditch and my losing job opportunities, everyone moved out of the rentals, neighbors talked about us and me and in general it was VERY BAD. I isolated myself and have never told anyone. I just dropped off the face of the earth. I finally feel I am coming out of that 'hole' but over the past 4 years have not worked (have a job now but job has no social opportunity) and have dropped 100% of my social contacts. I do not know how to get (thsi sounds so stupid, and insane. I feel like a total failure) I do not know how to 're-engage' and make friends and the thought of going to church or contacting people I knew before is hard because I was doing so well. I drop off the face of the Earth. now everyone in the world has passed me by and I feel like such a total ailure because I lost everything and am starting over and I feel like such an idiot, failure and stupid... but I know the absence of social contact makes me very down and I find myself once again getting VERY down and 'stuck'.. not doign anyything at all. I am looking for (not go see a counselor.I do) but what can I DO (physically do to help me re-engage). Thanks

Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Camille-Mod replied 4 years ago.


My name is ***** ***** I am the moderator for this topic. I've been trying to find a Professional to assist you, but sometimes finding the right professional can take a little longer than expected, as the Professionals come online at varying times. I wonder whether you would like to continue waiting for an answer…hopefully it won’t take too much longer. Please let me know, and I will continue my search. If you’d prefer not to wait, please tell me, and I will cancel this question for you. Thank you!

Camille - Moderator

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

yes.. pls continue.. thanks

Expert:  Camille-Mod replied 4 years ago.


Thank you….hopefully it won’t take too much longer for me to find the right Professional for you!Please don't respond to this as it may prevent the Professionals from accessing your question. Thank you for your continued patience.


Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 4 years ago.
Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

I am so sorry for the terrible losses you have suffered.

You have not been the wrong-doer, I gather from what you said, but only married to him.

You do have the ability to come back financially, which you have started. You are also employed, which shows a healthy state of mind.

You have a lot of real friends who are waiting in the wings to re-enter the stage of your life both from your general contacts, and from your church.

There will be those people, the fair-weather friends, who will shun you because they were never your friends. This is a great way to know your real friends and an opportunity to find who is a real friend.

How to approach this?

I would talk to your minister from your church and tell him what happened, and tell him that you want to stand before the congregation and talk to them about what you went through and how you have finally found the courage through prayer and contemplation, to face the world again and ask them for their help and acceptance.

This will take thought, prayer, and contemplation, and a lot of preparation, but I am certain that if you do this you will find an outpouring of love and support for you and in one moment,l probably a very emotional one, you will reestablish yourself and find that you do have loving and caring friends.

You will also win over most who had doubts about you (if there were any - and rumors usually do fly and cause doubts). You will be seen as bravely heroic, someone who has come back to the flock and you will be warmly accepted with open arms.

I can see this clearly and hope that you can too It is a direct, honest, and forceful path back to normalcy.

I strongly urge you to try it, and I shall keep you in my prayers.

Warm regards,