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Bill
Bill, LCSW, Consultant, Expert Witness
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3707
Experience:  35 years treating individuals, couples, families with mental health and substance abuse prob's
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I had a traumatic phone situation. It was phone sex and I had

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I had a traumatic phone situation. It was phone sex and I had phone sex with this guy I really liked and he had my moans on blast on speakerphone in a room full of laughing people. His cousin(female) dared him to do it. This was 3 years ago when this happened but it still bothers me and I can't get what he said to arouse me on blast out of my head. I have gone as far as bruising myself on purpose since I feel like my body and sexuality was degraded so much. I have a hard time masturbating manually since since that was the way I masturbated when I had phone sex with him. I have a problem giving guys a chance now when they approach cuz I automatically think they wanna take advantage of me and my sexuality. I really have a difficult time feeling good about my sexuality and about my curves and femininity. What steps should I take to get over this bad phone sex situation that happened to me and to become comfortable with my sexuality, curves, and femininity again? And how can I become comfortable talking to guys and dating again? Thanks in advance.

Bill :

Hello- Thank you for asking the question. I have over 30 years of experience working with individuals, couples and families & am happy to reply.

Bill :

I am sorry to hear about this problem..........

Bill :

Obviously, it has become and obstacle for you and this is is not uncommon when you have been through such an experience.

Bill :

This is not an end but a beginning of insight for you and future growth and understanding of self.

Bill :

I see you are in chat- and wonder if you would be willing to try some short term counseling to help with these issues?

Customer:

Oh yes definitely. I actually am in counseling these days to help me with this issue. I am in EMDR therapy

Bill :

okay - good- is it helping?

Customer:

I see my therapist next week wednesday and plan on doing some EMDR to help heal the wounds of this situation I just wanted to see if you all could help me a little bit for now

Customer:

Yes it's helping a little bit

Bill :

The above link and additional ones I will attach will provide some helpful information that you can use to enhance self esteem, body awareness and other issues associated with unresolved trauma.

Customer:

Thanks for the helpguide link

Customer:

Thanks for the other links as well too

Bill :

The information in these links ( From Harvard Medical) have an abundance of self help and other information that will help you understand your issues and the process to over come them.

Customer:

Aww ok Cool

Bill :

Educating yourself is very important and will help you in your therapy as you will have more insight and be able to identify issues with more clarity .

Bill :

You will see at this website there are a number of other related issues that may be helpful to you.

Bill :

The most important thing to know is that you can move forward and as I often say- Use your past as a guidepost-----NOT a hitching post.

Bill :

I think you will be fine.

Bill :

Is there anything else you would like to ask?

Customer:

Yes one more question, what are the best ways to deal with depression and anxiety?

Bill :

Depression and Anxiety go hand in hand

Bill :

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy approaches such as that which you are currently engaged are very helpful. If you have a bio-chemical depression medication is often needed to help. So these are the best approaches to dealing with these issues and -learning about them is very important as with other issues that you have identified.

Bill :

Again- Helpguide has an excellent link related to depression in women and its treatment:

Bill :

I trust this information will help you and wish you the very best.

Customer:

Ok well thanks again and that's all the questions I have for today

Bill :

You are most welcome.

Bill and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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