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Steven Olsen
Steven Olsen, Therapist
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Experience:  More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
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hi for steve olsen
hi steve.
opening a new question since our last is so long. yest i had another i guess bad day. i did the ot thur and it was ok, not awful, but i had the other 2 nurses go on break and leave me and i didnt even know they did as i was in the box triaging. well sure enough 7 pts came in one with chest pain one vomiting actively, abd pains etc.. hang nail, and while im doing the chest pain - the admitting girl comes running back saying theres a baby unconscious, i run out and the baby was conscious and breathing about 18 months old and had fallen n was unconscious. i guess she came to. the admitting girl said wheres the oher nurses? i said i dont know. she said ill look for them n i said thats ok, i had the mom get the baby registered moved the chest pain out, and took the baby in, and the colleen came n she took her back, and i resumed triaging the normal order. i felt like that was shitty for them to leave but why m i surprised?
i went on the playdate to meet seans mom, and we met up (she was late..) and we were driving to friendlys with the kids and we went the wrong way (my fault) and i made a u turn, went down a block to do this and as i was making the right turn (off a small street onto a main street..) had a guy come right out of a parking spot plow right out of the spot into the side of the minivan. right at andrews seat. i stopped and ran around, the guys out of the car, all in my face, and i told him get away from me. andrews crying and i had gotten so scared hearing the noise. the guys saying to me it looks like i got the worst of it (no he didnt i did) he had a scrape on the corner of his bumper and i have a dent plus a huge long scrape down the sliding door and the door is making a noise to open and close. he kept talking n trying to convince me not to call the cops, he said we dont need to call the cops ill give u my info and pay for it, n you can go do your errands etc. kates crying saying we crashed n i said look just call the cops. he didnt so i did. the guy seemed down on his luck in a way n his mood swung from asking if we were all right to you must ve been gunning it to make the light. i said no i didnt the light was red and i was pulling up to it as it changed - he admits to seeing me make a u turn in the driveway b/c he had walked out of it.. the driveway is a pretty short distance from the corner, so i say i wasnt going fast b/c i made a u turn and then started towards a red light.. either way i was past him when he just bolted out and hit me with his 2003 pontiac. he tells me to pull over and we get out of the road n the cop comes in 10 min. the guy runs up to him etc and the cop doesnt even talk to me. which pisses me off.
the other guy seemed very anxious and rushed and i guess was confusing the officer, he looked at me and came over im standing by andrews hit door - its open and im trying to calm him - he had just fallen asleep and i guess the accident woke him up.. and said what happened? i went over and showed him and the officer said ok. i usually can talk to cops but he was very uptight seeming, and nerdy ironically. (when i called 911, my daughter was crying saying we crashed we crashed, and andrew was just crying and the 911 operator said do you need an ambulance maam? she seemed like she got scared and i said no my kids are just scared theyre ok..) so heres the punchline to why this guy didnt want me to call the cops so badly. he doesnt have insurance. so the cop gives me all my stuff and says well mr so nd so doesnt have insurance - and ill be issuing him several ticket and citations. you dont need to wait for that. seans mom jen had come and said ill take the 2 kids - and ill bring them to friendlys so you dont have to deal with them.. and i said no no its ok, and kate said she wanted to go with sean - i said ok take her ill keep him.. i was afraid itd be too much for her to take ll 3 of them esp as a mom who used to only one child.. so she took kate and drove the few blocks to friendlys, and then heres the punchline. the guy isnt insured. the cop came over and said mr so and so isnt insured so you can go and i will be issuing tickets and citations. and i was like oh shit.
so i have a $500 deductible i have to put out. so essentially, i worked ot to pay for this b/c i made prob about 500- 600 and well there it went. and i just cant believe it steve. im so upset. i have to give back the car in 2 months and i have to put all this money out to be able to give it back. i just cant get ahead steve. i swear i told you if i won the lottery id drive my car inot the museum of natural history and land on the big dinosaur. itd be a million dollars and id be like oh crap.. i have that and have to hand over my big huge oversized lottery check. the plaque would $50 and id be like oh man thats out of my own pocket.. shit.
meanwhile youre going to think im crazy but i feel bad for this guy. he did apologize and say this was going to be worse for him than


My name is ***** ***** I am the Moderator for this topic. Steve is not available right now, but I have sent him a message to follow up with you here, when he comes back online. If I can help further, please let me know. Thank you for your continued patience!


Sorry Liz. I have been, of course, dealing with mom. I finally got to talk with the oncologist. She has a high grade edometrial papillary serous carcinoma, aggressive and not easily treatable cure wise, if at all. She had to decide if she wanted anything such as surgery or chemo (radiation was not an option bc she had an infection.) She is electing not to. And that is stressful, but I get her views.

That situation at work is not just a difficult situation for you, it is dangerous and should be reported to whoever can make some choices about how many nurses need to be on at any one time. You could have easily had a much worse than what occurred outcome. I fear what would have happened if your cases had not worked out.

That is awful about your accident! That and the fact that this guy is not insured. It just figures doesn't it? I mean you were just trying to get somewhere to have some fun with the kids and out of nowhere comes Mr no insurance and bashes the van. Nice... and the timing really sucks not to mention the fact that you have no extra money at the moment and were counting on getting ahead in the next few months. The 500 deductible may be reduced or eliminated because he is an uninsured driver, but that is not 100 percent and is only certain insurance companies if they can get the money from him. I am so sorry you had to deal with this and that your children were also afraid. But you got to love a Honda minivan. It will give its life up so you and your kids are safe. They are like tanks.

I do understand what you mean about feeling sorry for the guy. I know he is at fault but you can relate to being down on your luck too. But I also don not feel sorry for him. There is always safe auto which is cheap and even the poor can pay for minimum coverage in most places. Plus he tried to blame you. Really, not cool.

As to the extra overtime...You know: It is what we have been saying all along. It is never worth the extra effort to work so much. It just trickles through your hands. I think things go better in what most would call a semi poverty state. The extra always seems to go somewhere you did not want it to. I know you have to work extra now to pay to have the repairs done, but after that, consider once the debts are paid, not working extra. You burn that candle at too many ends already.

I am sorry for Rob, but I am more sorry for you. You seem to feel (it seems to me) that this man is hurt because of how his v day went. You know...he is a big guy and needs to mature a bit. That is harsh to an extent but men often need to have the hard reality of life and an unhappy wife to deal with making change. I think Ron is unhappy mainly because he unable to figure out how to reach you emotionally. He tries to do some things but he is still not getting it. That is not great, but he will have to stew in this, to figure out what he needs to do. Then, and only then will he be the man that he could be and texts from any man will pale in comparison. But Rob may have to go through a mess to get there. And, many men do.

Glad you and the kids are okay. Steven.


Customer: replied 4 years ago.

hi steve.

i came into a mess last night . i had an icu pt who was very demanding and angry. i kept trying to appease them, but i had 5 pts - not an icu ratio at all. well about 20 min into all this nonsense the pt told me who was 48 - in front of his wife and mother - that i was going to be sorry i came in tonight cuz he was going to make my life a living f**king hell.

i steadied myself and said oh no honey its fine, dont worry well get it al straightened out. im waiting for the surgeon to call back..

i did get him up to a room and i just kept running get chest pain pt after chest pain pt. wendy and i were working together and we spoke a little but not too much.

well all of a sudden theres a code called in the hosp lobby. several nurses go. i dont. i have rthe thought the lobby is locked at this time... well they come racing back thru the er up thru to the front and theyre yelling call a trauma. so i get on the oerhead and say were a code t in trauma 1. we had cleared trauma 1 for the anticipation while they ran to get the pt ... whom we had thought was a cardiac arrest. now, we cover several areas like ct scan radiology, triage of course plus psych, etc etc for a cardiac arrest. the trauma surgeon is called and im like wtf is going on? well the guys a multiple gunshot. so im like what? they say he mustve been dropped off in the lobby. but heres where it doesnt make sense. how did he get inot a locked lobby? i call security as were supposed to say hey we hav gunshot as soemtimes they come back to the hosp to kill the pt. were locked down now and i tell security theres soemthing wrong with this. a suffolk county police officer is there and we tell him and he says the shooters in the building. he calls soem sort of an alert and next we know were swarmed in cops. the pts are freaking out and no one can coem or go. i hav the fear the shooter is amongst us -pretending to be family. or worse the thought well have the shooter come in as a pt.. after hrs of searching sufolk decides that when the fire alarm went off earlier they think this person the gunshot vic came in. but heres the thing steve. i know he didnt. how cud a person injured like that not catch the attention of so many firefighters? were on hi alert for the rest of the shift and i walked quickly and quietly without stopping to my car. (and looked in the backseat prior to getting in. i drove hom and im not nancy drew steve but theres soemthing rotten with this. and i think the person who did it really did slip out with visitors. they say he got shot at a bar and i guess ill have to just trust this. but to me it doesnt make sense.

i would love to say ok im not doing ot this week, but i know i have to. its bad enough itll be 2 weeks away beofre i get paid for it so i have to do it so the moneys coming.

state farm said the accident isnt my fault but i will pay my full 500 deductible. they will try to recover it but it my be a long time before we get anything and theres no guarantee we will. we know a guy in queens who we used as our auto body guy for our cars, my in laws cars, and my parents, nd the lead guy was having blood i mn his stool and he asked me for alot of advice yrs ago. i told him what to do he semi followed but the main thing he did have rectal cancer and was treated. he was in his early 40's.. and was in remission when i last heard. rob thinks b/c of this the gy will of course build our deductible in..he has done it before.. i feel weird about it, but i told rob to call. he thinks i should b/c hell rememeber me and i said if u say youre my husband (they knew him 1st not me!!) i think itll be ok... we have to wait for state farm to coem see the car first so we cant do anything yet anyway.

as far as rob. its not him asking me if i ws dissappointed with valentines day. it was tmm2. we had spoken the next day via text and he said his vday was ok i said yeah me too. it was a friday. we dont talk on the weeknds/ holidays. so all of those interchanges were tmm2 and myself. he said hed have to dig deep for his charm and i was unimpressed by that answer as i am when men act stupid.

he sent me some other texts but.. they werent particulary charming or funny so i didnt waste the time answering. i guess well see if he texts again.

jeff. hes training up in icu and is to be a float icu nurse which means the er but who knows how long itll take before he comes down to us..

tmm1. well you know things bite you in the ass? like your past? well i had a pt named john and he was constipated and i gave him an enema etc and he mentioned the name of the bus co tmm1 worked at.. he said i looked familiar and then mentioned the co and i said wow oh gosh i havent thought about that in yrs.. he said why do i know you? n i did admit to dating a bus driver. or 2.. he tried to get me to name them but said i couldnt as 1 is def married n was at the time - tmm1 - n he kept trying to get me to give it up and i of course didnt. l

an admitting dr - dr k - well i had another difficult pt who was obviously a drug addict and he said ok give her this to get her off your back. i did and she was still wide awake, and he said ok give her this. and i said no shes older (72) and if she codes or gets over sedated it will look like shit that i gave so much. he said ok liz whatever u want. i was putting his order and i needed his attention while he was talking to another very buttoned up dr.. i caught his eye and he was looking at me while the other dr kept going and going.. he tunred fully towards me and threw a pen cap (playfully...) at me. its like 3am.. it hit my computer screen.. i said youre a lousy shot.. he laughed.. and siad i didnt want to hit you.. there was a fuzzy pink pen left from dayshift and i said here you left your pen... i gave it to him and he cracked up laughing.. so did buttoned up dr... he winked at me and said what other orders do you need? i said oh none. he said are you sure? i said yes i am ... lol.

he told me im going to go take a nap.. and told me where hewd be..

i just laughed... i was going to be indignant and say id never sleep with a dr but i have so i cant really be too indignant.

Oh my gosh Liz. Your place is a nightmare. If it is not ratios of nurses to critical patients that would violate any hospital standard...and cause death, it is the nutty and wild circumstances that go on there. How on earth did someone come into a lobby at night unless they were shot in the hospital, or they were known to someone who let them in, or the shooter was in the building...likely #3 scenario when I think about it.

And was the guy who was shot; did he live? Can he talk? This makes no sense at all and does not bode well for building security. There are cameras there right? And they do point toward the door, right? So who came in and how? I agree with you. This is fishy. And like you have said...if you didn't;t need the money so desperately I can grasp why you would want to be out of that hospital in a flat ten seconds. They are a scary place, in management; in patient care; in doctor's ethics and in simple common sense. It is amazing that people are not dead in this mess of a place. So sorry you work risk your life and license all the time, literally.

The body shop? Hey if you saved this man's life, and it sure sounds like you did, then I think it is advisable to try to see if he can cut you a deal. I doubt, speaking frankly, that you will ever get this man to pay back the deductible. Chances are he will avoid it and there will be no money, so why not hedge your bets and try this repair shop friendly reminder about life saving? I would. 500 is a lot of money.

Ohhhhh, I get it. Tmm2 sent those messages about Valentine's day. Now I understand. But so what if he had a bad valentines day? Not being mean, but what is that to you? Unless he wants you to be his valentines? Which, I always felt that he did in a sexual way with you. He seems to be hunting. That is my impression. Why would he bother after all this time if that was not the case? He wants to start something I think. Men are pretty basic in this way. No brains involved.

Good thing you kept quiet about the bus driver and your past. I think you should tell everyone you are from Cleveland. Nothing happens there and no one will think that they knew you. I know. I have been there. Worst city ever, next to Indianapolis. But I am glad that this did not go deeper in conversation. That could have gotten ugly.

I think you know this totally but you are a consummate flirt. When are you going to give that up? Pink pens and innuendos? Now, how will you deal with dr buttoned up? Dr bu. I like that. Steven

Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1765
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
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Customer: replied 4 years ago.

hi steve.

i still hadnt gotten my disability check and ive already gone back to work like more than a month ago. so i called . the womna said oh you should have it by the end of the week. i sighed as its like thats ridiculous already. so i just had a feeling and ran out to the mailbox - nervous wed have nasty mail from bank of america of course - and hoping for my check. well both were there. not tooo scary from b of assholes but enuff. (i feel like i will never catch up with the mortgage. sigh. and wit the 2 cars and the lease ending its just shitty timing - but my check was more thna i thought itd be!! i thought about $700. well its $1130!!! were so low on food, well i was getting worried i mean of course the kids would eat, b/c their food is the priority, but it reminded me of days when rob nd i lived in the apt and well i couldnt afford heat either. i traded food for heat (stupid i shudve done the reverse id be alot thinner) and when we first got the house we couldnt afford food.

anyway, i can use it to pay the reg bills and i did buy the kids clothes that they deperately need (of course they didnt have to be gymboree and disney store... but it was on sale..)

unfortunately my ot check and that money will go towards bills and food, and the next check shud be in better shape since i wont have to push bills back to that check or have overdrafts and we cud get the car fixed. if the guy does the favor for us great, but i cant count on it and i need my 2 cars. being without the van will be hard well have to rent a car and they only pay 80% up to $500. after that its on us. so im going to tell the guy that he needs to order parts etc and when we drop it he has afew days. ill rent a smaller car and put the kids in the crv to save money but.. sigh im so sick of josteling and the rental car will cost us like $125 on top of that. ( cant win thats for sure..)

a long as dont have the worst night of my life tonight (and last night sucked but i twasnt the worst - how scary is that?) ill do ot on thur. i think i shud do this and next week at a minumum and well hopefully rob can get the $400 from his old 401 at his other job.. itll help. i have stuff on ebay thats just not selling now - its cheap so i dont know why - and the ebay listing fees etc.. well forget it.

oh btw you and the family ar eof course invited to kates party. i dont have the minumum amt of kids even, so i amm going to tell terri to bring her son and se eif theres anyone else we can invite.. just so its not paid for and wasted.

the guy who was shot was unconscious and mumbling i was told - they yell at people like this (im not kidding ) trying to get them to tell us stuff as its their last chance usually. well yell at people who are going what did you take? or who did this to you. its usually fruitless.

i think it just scares them honestly, but what do i know?

he went to the or at like 3am and was there at 7am when we left. i dont know if he lived.

the cops said soemthing about witnesses at this bar saying he was shot. usually people just like slow down and throw people out at the er in thos ecases, but.. well whatever.

and usually secuirity knows gunshot wound came in cuz they listen to our radio - althought for soem reason they cant understand - unless its quiet and radio silence is going on. usually ems is yelling over their siren as theyr ebolting to us.

so i called since it was such an unusual circumstance. i didnt know that security had gone to respond to as precaution.

the icu guy - these people are cockaroaches but nothing compared to the city. the people in the bowery and alphabet city are 5th generation drug addicts who know the system better than any social worker.

these people most of them their parents are like staright up people wo are ashamed of them it seems. they seemed more nervous of their situation and while he was agitated i just kept smiling and listening and telling him dont worry. i hope i dont have a complaint, but he had questions and i did page the dr i couldnt ans them til he called back. and within an hr he was upstairs. i was smart enuff to tell our new mgr that he said that to me, and she said oh it sounds like he needs to be sedated. i said oh i sent him upstairs but i dont like to be threatened. she said oh good hes there. but i liked her thought of sedating the guy.

the body shop guy never said i saved his life but he did thank me amillion times and his secretary there did say i did. i didnt his surgeon did. i just told him to go ot the er of the hosp he wants to be treated at - and when thy give the dx with the surgeon work out a payment plan. upfront. he found asurgeon and went to a not as good hosp as id like in queens but hey i cnat control the world. the poor guy ended up with a colostomy due to how low the cancer was but he was so relieved he said he was ok with it. and i was happy for him he was able to see it that way. i admit i may not be able to tunr that frown upside down.

tmm2 said that it seeme dlike i was dissapointed with vday. he said what happened with vday? you seemed dissapointed. and well i mean were not exactly flush so i cant blame rob for not getting me anything but i was still dissapointed that well there realy wasnt too much romance either. im pretty sure the last time we had sex was before that.

and i was disspaointed that tmm1 and tmm2 didnt send at least a nice text or soemthing. its true.

oh shoot i forgot robs bday is tomorrow. omg. crap. crap. i didnt get a card or even remember til like a minute ago.

omg/ whats wrong with me. and im runnign late - ttyl.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

hi steve.

the guy lived thru the surg n died. guess we wont know what happened.

i asked peter this am if i could work ot. on thur. he said ok. i said can i do triage? n he said dont get comfortable out there. you cant be out there everyday. i didnt ans that n i i was like well one - i was out there one day in 5 weeks now. i dont think thats favortism. n two heck maybe ill do one more day ot next week. n im done. it wont catch us all the way up, or even close honestly. but. well f**k it.

now if only i used my powers for good instead of evil.. dr r. the female dr i want dr b to go out with. well she came over to me and was like liz you f**ked me all up. so i said what? why? she said that now everytime she works with dr b she cant stop thinking about him in bed!! and now she wants to find out if what i said i thin is true (that he good in bed..)

i said omg, go. she was laughing wickedly, and said you think so? i said yes. hes nice. hes not malicious really. and hes your equal. hell understand when youre stuck at work, those things are important. i said hes stupid for sure. like men are... n she laughed. she said shit liz you have way of putting things. then i said omg can i be a bridesmaid? and she laughed hysterically.

ok so she was off shift. dr b confided in me that things were over again with the pa. i sighed and said look (im stealing your line..) her inside doesnt match the outside. and it wont ever. he just nodded. n then i stole your line again. i said joe, what have you done that you need to keep punishing yourself with women who dont make you happy? that make drama in your life. he was silent an then he said i have nothing else to do.

he went to see a pt and i walked away. he came back and mentioned dr r. he said that shes a really good dr. i said yes she is.

i said why do u say that? he says well she always makes sure all her things are done and shes detail oriented.. i said yes she is. i said -were alone at thsi point - so why dont you just ask her out? he said well she offered to hang out this past weekend but i was sick.

i said well now its your turn to ask. he then said... im afraid shes too good for me. i laughed and said of course she is. didnt you ever hear that the worst woman is still too good for the best man? he laughed and said no. i said well its true. anyway then i said good, so youll be interested in her. and shes good. thats good for you.. then i sai can i be a bridesmaid? he laughed ad said you can be maid of honor... i said no she has some cheerleaderly friend im sure who will be...i said bridesmaid will do..

dr b sat down and he was cleaning his computer with antibacterial wipes.. (i dont bother with this nonsense at work..) and he put his hand right up against where i was leaning against the desk.. his leg was right on mine.. and i sai dhey.. and he laughed and said what? i saidi feel you pressing up against me. he said what do you feel? i laughed and he said its just my thigh.. i said yes i know..

it actually seemed too tense n i held back from saying anymore..

i had a pt who was waiting for him - he was buy but he couldve gotten there sooner. i told the pt hes in a trauma.. the pt was like oh crap how long til he comes? i said its not major, but hes evaluating it but i spoke to him in the trauma room. (this isnt true..)

i get dr b to come n were walking together. i tell him of the little lie i said and he said ok.. i walk him up to the pt and introduce him.. the pt is an older man who s gay with his younger partner with him...

i walk away. dr b finished n said ok i may d/c him. i say ok.. he comes back n says im not d/cing him he has a possible pna. when u listen over the spot he has rales. he needs iv abx. i say ok.

i go back to the pt a little bit later n he says so you and him..?

i said oh we work together alot. actually everyday,..

he said oh.. i felt like he wanted to say more and then he said he seems to like you. i said oh, well were friends.

he left it alone after that.

dr came in to work all dressed - a dress shirt and tie , and well he did look good. not a little good. alot good. i pretended to not to notice cuz there were some other nurses who were like oh dr a youre all dressed up.. and oh you look good...

i said (about a mutual pt we had..) dont get too close hes a barfer. he said oh thx.. while i secretly wished the guy wud vomit all over him.

dr button up was on but not dr k. dr button up was telling me all about how he lives on staten island and how ge works all his days in a row and then he has long stretches off due to it.. he also has an apt right down the road of the hosp so he can get home fast cuz he falls asleep behind the wheel, and he did once n if he hadnt broken his side mirror (its what woke him up..) he said he woulve crashed on the verazano bridge.. finally dr a said what was dr button up talking about? he never talks that much. i said oh about his schedule n stuff. they said he never talks that long.. i said oh he talks to me.. (he bores the f**k out of me but i am polite since we work together alot..) and theyre like why? i said i dont know... b/c im nice to him?

i mean maybe i guess

At least you got something other than threats in your mailbox! Money is always a nice surprise, especially if it is more than you expected. Good for you!

You mind if I ask you something? Forgive me for saying this, but considering that you and Rob have good jobs and that there is a considerable income between you; doesn't it seem like you should have more disposable income? Where does it all go? I know you have debts and everything but is there a certain source that sucks up the money each month? I worry that you seem to not have enough even for food and that the family appears to live almost paycheck to paycheck. I can't seem to figure that out. Can you explain it?

Appreciate the invite to the party but I am not sure if I will be able to make it. It is a long drive and airfare is a killer...but I am sure you all will have fun. Renting the whole place out is a dream for a party. I hope Kate appreciates it later in her life; not just any parents would do this. That is really nice of you.

It is a shame about the man who died from the gunshot wounds. I still can't figure out how he managed to get into a locked lobby, unless the shooter was in the building. Still, it is amazing that you have to deal with this kind of nonsense. You sure there aren't alternatives you can explore once you are paid out of slavery to this hospital?

the body shop guy is alive and still working. Think about the alternative if he had not been able to act on what you said. You did save his life. And so, maybe he doesn't have the best quality of life. Still, he is alive and that is worth asking a favor on the deductible. At worst, he can say no.

So what did you get Rob for his b-day? And don't feel badly. You are under a lot of pressure. I know that you would not allow him to go without something. And you both need some time to spend with each other. It seems that life has kind of some between you both lately. Maybe today you could spend a moment or two? Or, is this a work day I think? How about later in the week?

Said sarcastically> Oh yeah,Liz. Don't get too comfortable working triage once every two months. Someone might find that intensity of schedule to show favoritism from Peter to you. You know: Even I can't deal with this guy and I do not know him personally. He is one of those guys that other men can't I knew one person who was treated like you are with a work schedule (similar). They placed their schedule on a graph and showed it tothe one who was scheduling. That shut up the scheduler. It was obvious that there was no fairness and equity. I mean really...What would your time in triage graph out like? Pretty bad I would say. And what if it compared others, minus names, next to it?

Now that is an impact statement!

I see that you like playing matchmaker with Dr b. And yes, he likes you. Others can see that fact. True: If you were single he would date you, I am sure.

But messing with these two is like trying to beat a train to a crossing. Dr b is determined not to be happy with a woman and wants to make himself feel like crap. That is not pleasant as far as his psychology: So, how will he ruin this endeavor I wonder? (I am not even willing to think about that!) Trouble is, they probably would make a good couple. She is exactly what he needs; Intelligent, organized and nice. He is stable and kind and caring. But put that against his usual pattern of women and there is a storm brewing that could be nasty. He would not hurt her, but I will bet he would disappoint her. You might not be a bridesmaid in the end; rather, you might end up a witness to a train wreck. I am not sure if matchmaking them is such a good idea.

Stable men like Dr button up like women like you. You listen to them and make them feel that they are not as frumpy as they know they are. He probably is really dull, but listen to him. And dr a being surprised about it. What does he care anyway. And who is dressing him up these days? Steven

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

hi steve.

wow. pretty negative post on your part. ill try not ot hang myself by my shoelaces at work tonight. i suck at my fianaces, the guy who had cancer and had lived hi squality of life is shitty? look its no fun having a colostomy, but he was treated appropriately and he did live. he had no ins and he had little kids all those yrs ago. i was upset it tured out that way for him, i was hoping itd be better, but he was really happy and i guess he was grateful for all who helped him and that he didnt die. i dont take credit for saving his life. i just advised him of the system n that its not as scary as he would think n he had to act to save his own life. and he did.

there is no certain source that eats up our money other than our children.

our gas prices are over $4 a gallon. the lirr and subways fairs have gone up several times. and our oil bill just came in and no tonly was it 700 and change then we got a $70 bill for the emergency oil we received.

the dishwasher part was $145. i have the $500 deductible coming up to take a bite out of my life. kates bday party. i put a $150 deposit.. the balance will be around $600 for the end of next month. im paying the rest of the furniture off this paycheck to get the chairs delivered. that $2900. plus all my bills. andrews similac is almost $7 a bottle at walmart. it was $5.25. 2 yrs ago when i gave it ot her. i pay $750 a month in debt to pay off the cards by the end of this year (all of mine. robs were done a few yrs ago)

this why rob ran a an audit on me. like im stealing money or soemthing. when in fact steve i think without my creativeness with finances we wouldve lost this house long ago. 9i just had to buy andrew clothes for 3- 6 months. his 0-3 months dpont fit anymore. kate had not too many clothes for winter so i bought her soem things too so its not like shes wearing the same thing every minute - and thatll be good til june or so for both of them.

and i was just unpaid for 8 weeks due to maternity leave. my check is almost 50% of our income.

rob had a screaming match with me - o rrather he screamed and i sai dnothing b/c im tired of trying to prove to everyone im not a f**k up.

i told him very weakly and tiredly. you go right ahead. yu do the finances. he said fine your absolved. i said good i did 10 yrs of managing out finances. i got him out of debt - school and consumer it was $60k plus interest. i got us ahouse that got mostly redone. i got us furniture. i go tus 2 new cars - we got ot finally go on vacation last yr after 5 yrs of no vacation. plus the last 2 yrs i have had legal bills of 7k.

now the paychecks are coming up and i havent seen the mastermind do the bills. so i did them adjusted for our new money coming in.

so im doing the best i can. i would love for rob to do the bills and take the stress off me but im the one whos like - well the kids need clothes and so does rob - i have barely bought myself anything since i go tthis job- id love to buy soemthings, but.. well i want to lose weight befor ei do. so ill prob never end up getting anything.

and i have to leave for work but i will nt meddle anymore with dr b and dr r. i had given up until both of them mentioned the other last night.

and you didnt finally have to give in and say that dr b would date me. he wouldnt and i know that. i dont know if itd be a good match anyway since hes a partier and a nightowl and hang out with his friends and then if we had kids id be the killer of all his fun. rob wasnt a non stop partner by any means. i mena i guess i was the killer of his good times too. you know house and kids bullshit.

i asked him why he gets so nsty with me when hes so happy with his job now and unfortunately it only leads me ot believe hes not happy with me and he said it was stressful being at home - the kids crying the non stop repairs and chores etc. so i got him into CE and i thought i was so smart doing so, but i tjust mad ehim realize that i guess hi shome life sucks too. and with that i guess i better go to the job i have to work.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

oh and dont forget the money all lost from the storm. the food, the hotelbills the price gouging.. paying for laundry to be done..

plus the damages we paid for. like the tree, i have to get the cap put back on the chimmney and our ice maker stopped workig and rob said he thinks the circuit board is fried and the whole thing will need to be replaced

I certainly did not mean to be negative. I am sorry if it came across that way.

You know as a nurse when you hear certain symptoms that it is often an indicator of another issue, and that you need to ask more... Well, when you said that you did not have enough money for food, that was one of those counseling profession statements that triggers all sorts of thoughts. To be safe I needed to ask if there was something I did not know about. Oddly enough Liz I have talked with people for years and suddenly found out that there was a hidden issue, like financial abuse, gambling, etc. I have to ask these things. You are my responsibility in a professional sense. If you were being taken advantage of, or Rob was deep in debt with someone or something that caused this to occur...I have to ask. I am also supposed to, if I find out that there is no external threat to you, recommend credit counseling. You of course can ignore all of this if you wish, but I have to ask it, just like you ask follow ups when you hear something odd in the world of physical medicine.

Dr b: I would like to see you remain friends. He may be a guy in so many senses of the word, but he is also your friend and has been there for you. I would hate to see that a relationship of his, that you were associated with, went sour and caused harm to your relationship with him. And, I do...seriously, think he would ask you out if things were different. I doubt you would ever be a couple, but I think he would ask. You do not, at all? He may not fit you personality wise, but he clearly likes you.

And Rob...No job will make him happy, and this part of your life together is not easy. As I recall, this time period, with two young children and stress and money issues is rough, really rough...and you should not expect that your behavior and actions will make Rob happy. He has responsibility in that area. He is stressed, and from what I can see, bottles it up. Starting a new job, even a great one, is stressful. And if it (the job) is easier than he thought and not challenging enough, that is stressful too. What I do hope happens is that some time, small or large, is devoted to you both spending some time together, and I do not mean having sex. You need to talk and reconnect. I can see that part of you both has been moved into a not so great place in the last months and neither of you feel wonderful about the other. I see your schedules, the stress of family, the baby, health, money, worries and just the non stop no break things like snow and hurricanes that have taken their toll. Really, you both almost seem in survival mode and I know that only disappears with time and deeper conversation, which I am sure you have had in the past with him. It may need to be synthetically created, but I feel it is needed.

Just do not blame yourself for his attitude. He is a man and should be able to ask and communicate what he needs, without being prompted. Steven

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

hi steve.

it was another interesting night. well one thing thats really bugging me - i think i want to get out of going to 11 tto 11. i feel stupid but i think i shud tell peter ill just stay on nights.

we have been quiet after mn for this whole month and our staffing has been better. also we got a manager whos name is ***** ***** while i dont trust her she did a solid favor for me yest. i came in and colleen gave me a pt who was like on the verge of death. i said to her uh this guys going to die. he sin cold shock. we go and his bp i 40s/ 20s. i start pouring another bolus of saline into him but hes 89 yrs old and hes onto his 5th liter. now you need 3 liters to squeeze with pressors to maintain a bp. but for a 90 yr old guy.. 5 liters can kill him b/c he wont get that fluid out. and he wasnt. he had alm sot no urine which means his blood was shunting to his heart ;ungs brain and his kidney s are failing. i walk over to dr b and say joe i need a central line pls tell me you took over for dr so nd so. he says who is it? i tell him and he says set me up. i sai dok thanks. i tell an aide to set it up as a pt who was incorrectly triaged as a level 4 which is like an equivelant to a cold... well they call a stroke code while imt rying to get this guy straight. i run over and i see my new pt freaking out saying she blind in her right eye and her arm is numb. shes 35 yrs old. i start trying to calm her but her and her mother just get nastier and nastier with me. i take a deep breath and the dr whos doing this thing is the stupid female dr who get sall excited. not a good match pt to dr. two hysterical females.

they clear the ct scan table and shes in, im trying to stabilize the other guy and meredith says whats with him as she came to the stroke code. i tell her hes cold shock with no known origin of the sepsis. he has no white blood cell count and due to all of thsi im super concerned. she say yeah i am too. dr b finished the line she says ok ill be back. she goes and comes back shes moving my pt. i look at her quizzically and she says ... im taking your pt to geraldine. (shes a bitch btw.) so im like oh.. she said you shudnt be running two crashing pts. problem solved. i ssai doh thx. and i actually felt.. like my manager cared. i wanst really overwhelmed ill be honest. i had other pts on top of them and i looked at all of them.. and i was like im in 2 emergencies ill be back.

so the neurologist came and i had already called mri for her to go.. and i had given her a whole bunch of meds... and he seemed impressed. he came out of the room and said wow you got this thx. i said oh its ok.. and i sai ddr i think she has an ocular migraine. he said so do i. and shes panicking. i said yes i know. we laughed a little b/c i said she refused her rectal temp all indignant, like i get my jollies from doing rectal temps.. he laughed and said she seemed hi maintenance. he asked if she had a lumbar puncture done and i sai dno, but she had a ct scan and is going for an mri.. she shudnt need an lumbar puncture. he sai dyoure right i just ddnt know if they had already done it..

i sai dno i told the dr she needs to go to mri theyr closing and the scan is more important. he said i agree.

well we were wrong. she has lesions that are suggestive of ms. she of course freaked out.

she was very demanding but i tried my best to calm her.

jeff was on. i guess hes been in he icu. he was very flirty and i didnt fall too much into it really.

we were kinda quiet and hd time to talk.. we bullshitted, and red head jen had her hair all stuck on her nsg jacket and her stthescope, i said turn around and i pulled all her hair out so it would hang - she has a ton of hair and its strawberry blonde(shes really pretty..) and jeff said oh shit that was hot.. keep doing that.. jen said whatd he say? i said he said that were hot., she started laughing and said hes a pig. i said of course he is..

later terri was talking to him she had been sitting next to me and then all of a sudden i hadnt seen her for awhile.. i look over and shes sitting on the other side talking to jeff. i throw a paper clip and it flies in front of her. she looks in my direction and im like wtf? im all worried like wheres terri? and youre over there? you just ditch me?

she says well jeffs cuter than you. jeff is laughing and i say oh thx..

i go back to my seat.. and hey both come over.. he puts his arm on me and say jealous sweetie? i said what? no. (and jealous of who btw..? him or? or her?) terris like im kidding i say i knw. im fine. i still think you shud pick me over jeff at any time. just cuz im awesome.

thyere laughing and jeff says oh baby come on.. youve just spent the night with me... he has his hand on my upper arm.. and im kind of worming away a little. i say well you just spent the night with alot of people. male and female.

dr b comes over and makes a move i was hoping he would he put his hands on me in front of jeff. he tells me about a pt and i say ok. he hadnt been feeling well an i said any better? he said no. i said i can give youa shot of bentyl. so he says maybe later. then he says reluctantly .. ok. (dr b was having tummy troubles) i said ok lets go, jeff is rihght there and he seemed very surprised. i get up go and get the med and give it - an im injection to dr b. i was talking like i do when i do procedures and i say ok relax and quickly give it to him. i sai dok youre done and dr b says you are? i say yes. he says i didnt even feel it. i sai d yes im taht good. he asked how i did that and i told him it was magic..

i went back to my desk and jeff says whats that about? i sai ddr b doesnt feel well. he said no he put his hands on you. i sai dno he didnt . he sai dyes he did. i said i dont know what youre talking about. terri said oh thats her work husband. i rolled my eyes and i said arent your patients critically ill? wtf.

so they keep needling me and i say look i like joe toomuch to call him my husband. jeff goes oh shit and is laughing. i said plus.. hes not married.

no screwing around with people who arents married if youre not married. we were all laughing and dr b came over and says whats up? i said do you introduce me as your future ex wife to people? he says yes.. i do.. lol.

dr b seemed unfazed by jeff in any way and i dont knwo if he really didnt notice him or just didnt care..

dr b said he was feeling better and i sai d good,

dr b walked away and we were doing something else - jeff needed a doppler and came over while i was working and said do you guys have adoppler? i sai dyes.. im still typing just to finish give me a sec.. he put his hand or like one finger on my upper arm and was stroking my arm very suggestively soemhow.

i asked another nurse tto get it for him.

he told me i wouldnt want to get on your bad side and i said why? (i had shot him down a few times.. ) and he said cuz youre tough. i said im not tough. (just what agirl wants to hear..)

meanwhile i had askeed rob to call and find out if the body shop in queens can work out a deal for the deducible like build it into the price. so he says the owman called n said the inspector can see it at the shop. so i say well did tthey say theyll build the deductible in to the price? so he says o i dont know. so i said well im not dropping it there til i know ottherwise ill bring it to honda. he says well call n give the claim number set up the time well drop the car n ask about the deductible. so i say why cant you? n were in a huge fight now. he sad ask how the guys doing etc n then say what can u do for us about the deductible? i said ook ill just call honda and schedule it for next week. i have to wait for the next paycheck to py for it. so it got ugly n i told him how he makes me feel bad and never says anything nice to me. and he always cristiscizes me and he said im dumping the finances on him b/c then when we lose the house itll be his fault and i cna blame him. if he thinks i suck at the finances all i can do is offer for him to do them then. what else can i say? i told him he never says i look nice and that doenst exactly make me want to jump into bed with him. and he told me how im not interested and do the bare minumum with him and his games. i told him that i do dall these things and i have only critiscism - and i make all the shopping lists and get most of the stuff, plan all the parties/ holidays we have, go thru all the mail, organize the finances, pack the kids every week, all the bills, presents, thank yu cards, invitations, palydates every drs appt, oil change for the cars, do all the laundry, half of the dishwasher, etc.

and he said he never has asked me to give kate any parties or to go to disney, so i said fine well canclk her party. so he says no youre not making me the monster who cancelled her party. i said no ill tell everyone i made a mistake- im the monster who everyone hates anyway. well lose the deposit but its better than paying another $600 for the party. and he said no ill have to keep working ot to pay for it. and i told him hes so f**king mean, i work nights and make night premium. i never take a lunch break, almost never leave on time. i went back at 8 weeks postpartum. and well, im just so hurt.

i never thought he wouldnt want to have aparty for kate. and he told me we cnat have a christening for andrew either. and im going to go now cuz i started to get sick last night and im so tired. i cnat believe how awful he is. i really want to tell him to leave. ill figure this out on my own. i dont need this anymore.

Sometimes the things we think are great or advantageous do not turn out like we thought.

That is fine if you are discovering that the 11-11 shift is not for you. Plus if the late shift is turning around due to the influence of a supervisor/manager, good for you. Peter said that this was an experiment anyway and if you want to change back, do it. I see no issues with that.

I read about your fight with Rob. That sucks. I hate when these types of fights occur. I can tell that your feelings are really hurt and that you feel amoeba sized with how Rob acts about it. I can also tell that he hasn't much of a clue what the stress and strain on the relationship is like for you as he is not living the effort that you put out. That is not to say that he is not working hard too, but I believe he is not dealing with the reality of the situation for you.

Sex and finances always seem to get dumped into arguments as they always have a lot of energy behind them. However, the issues you both talk about are certainly resolvable and not something that is insurmountable by any means. And I believe that a large part of the problem is that hearing what the other is saying is not happening. I can see that in how he responded to you.

You said in so many words, I feel really hurt that you do not notice me physically and personally. I do so much you do not know about. Instead of dealing with that, he reacts with: You do not play my sex games with enough energy and spirit.

Next time he says this tell him that you want to be understood, not to be right, and see what he says. He thinks so "guy" right now that he is missing the entire point, that you feel tired and stressed and need a partner who gets this; one who will fight for you and support you in what you do. I am sorry this is happening to you Liz but I think if he can grasp that you need to be heard and respected, not right, that he will be able to handle this. He just needs to open his ears.

Work stuff: Meridith may not have earned your trust quite yet, but she does seem to care about the health and well-being of her employees. That is great. She has potential if that keeps up. Again, you have stellar nursing skills and were able to identify some critical issues and help some challenging people. I like that, and I hope you can see it yourself. And if you tell me you could have figured out the girl (or should have) with MS as the cause of the blindness I will fall over. Who could have seen that coming? But you are helpful to the other patients and to the neurologist who also complemented you. I wonder if you will let that sink in as far as skills? You are a great nurse Liz.

Jeff is a true perv. He likes women who touch each other's hair huh? Female to female intimacy?. Should I also tell you that means that he has unresolved issues with his mother and that he is afraid of men? If you ever need to put him in his place, that would shut him up as that is deep psychology of the men who like that sort of thing. They do not like other men in the picture of sex as they are frightened of them. He won't react when you say it, but that comment is like slow poison to a man's psychology who thinks this way.

Dr b is a doctor. He is not going to care what a male of Jeff's rank says. Really. He is not of the same status so he doesn't care. But if Jeff were a surgeon it would be totally different. And Jeff thinks you are tough? He is just telling you that he is afraid. He is pseudo confident. Those types are harmless and a word can wipe them out.

Would you think about you and Rob seeing someone. I have said it may times, but it would help. Steven

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

rob n i are talking as it seems we have to. just to get by.

i tried the line i want to be understood not right n he said itd be nice if he was understood n not everything hrown in his face. which i dont even do, so i just dropped it. i made the mortgage payment n i m paying for th chairs today. theyre being delivered. i made a spot in the kitchen as we need to clean up baby stuff n i dont want the guy stomping thru the house. i got the kids spring n some summer clothes on sale, n i sent out kates bday invites. i dont plan on working ot next week.

yest was a weird day.

i was in triage. i had a woman come in c/o of back pain. she had a mva the night before n didnt come to the er. now she said she cant take it. i had the fleeting thought of her belly but it wasnt tender. no ecchymosis which wud have shown 12 hrs after an accident. u can see it 10 min after if its a significant bleed for the spleen.

ok so im going to send her to the clinic area. well we check her vitals n her hr is 143. i count manually n get the same. shes not carrying on in pain.

i send her to the reg er due to her hr.

(btw the triage computer keyboard has the "s" letter broken. just to make my life a living hell.)

i call the pretty jen whos hair i was fixing. i tell her look, her hr is 143.. check her put her on a monitor. she says shes on tach ing away at 140. the other nurse there says.. u know i think her spleen might be lacerated. i said eh.. like if it was she wudve bled out in her bed is my reasoning. not walking in saying.. my back...

a triage someone else n i am nervous now that im wrong.

i go to the back n find a dr i like who signed up for her n make my case. she said her exam is unremarkable. i said u def dont think shes a spleen laceration? she said no i dont.

i say ok.. n then i say look why dont we ct her? so she goes oh f**k it ill ct her.

so meanwhile we send a tox screen. its pos for everything except pcp. no f**king lie.

her h n h is 6 and 17. bad. very bad. but the last time she was here she was same thing high hr but 110s not 140s.. and h and h was 5 and 14. due to uterine bleeding.

we finally get ct scan results n two radiologists looked at it b/c the 1st radiologist asked for a 2nd opinion. n they didnt agree. one said no spleen laceration. the othe said slight laceration. the pt is erred on the side of caution and put into s icu.

and steve im terrified b/c i cudve sent her to the clinic n they cudve missed it. n she cudve died. i mean maybe i shouldnt be in triage.

i worked it with sarah - shes the one who hired me - she stopped being mgr and is back to staff nurse.. she agreed 11 to 11 is the most f**ked shift btw. she said do days or nights. shes done both - nights for 5 yrs and days for 4..

meanwhile peter never said my 11 to 11 was an experiment. i did go to the staff meeting n heckled him a little....

at the end meredith said she didnt know i was going to 11 to 11 n needed to change the schedule. i told them after im getting cold feet. i made mention that a reason to stay would be meredith... n peter got offended n put his arms out. i said oh pls u wont let e come to das n mimicked his gesture. meredith almost blew snot (we all were alone..)

meredith said liz do whats good for u n your family. i told her the 2 sides - that one it was busier before i left n i ran all night so whats the diff? i cud at least go home at 1130pm.

meredith told me she likes nights better personally staff is nicer - n i had said to peter he had a mean girls situation going on on days. he said shit i know n the meanest wasnt there. i said oh linda was on.. n they both laughed n peter said no evelyn.. i said well i got them calmed down on me personally, but really its a mess.

earlier in the day that educator rachel who i hate (she kept calling me colleen) said i needed to go to a class on tuesday or thursday. i said tue its at 10 am to 12. im working both nights on either side of it. if i leave at 12noon n dont get home til 1pm.. i have to leave again at 6pm. its too much.

she said well come thursday. i said i just worked ot for 2 weeks n im doing days n nights which people seem to be in awe of.. n the class is 5pm to 7pm. so id have to leave at 4pm n my husband isnt home in time.. she turned on her heel n stormed off. i tried to talk to her again, but i mean wtf. why is she so angry all the time? sarah told me dont worry about it, but peter said in front of everyone- liz if u want to stay in triage u have to take the class. i said 1st off i took the class, while i was on orientation with christine.

2nd i tried to talj to rachel n she stormed away from me. i didnt plan on doing ot on thursday again. i dont have babysitting n the government frowns on me leaving the children 2 and 3 months old home alone. even if its only an hr or so..

everyone is laughing.. he said okwell work it out.

he said ill change ur days however u want to. so im working day shift n ill leave at 5pm to go to class. SO its sun mon nights thur during the day.

after peter left night shift was starting n meredith said she understood u have to trust the people ur working with n she said she liked dr a dr b and dr m. they seem so cool n great. n i said oh dr b n dr m are. she said not dr a? i kind of made a face n said hes not y cup of tea.. so she said really? i told her of the one incident me n him had with i didnt want to d/c the pt n he said ok n then the pt started to detox n he got mad n told the female dr on me who tried to grill me n then he cursed at me. i had written it in the chart n he said that what i was saying was bullshit etc.. n well i was just done. i dont know if i f**ked up n shouldnt have confided in her.. but she then said she knew what i meant n wouldnt tell me what hos p but she worked somewhere as a travel nurse n she didnt trust one dr. there were so many issues n she said i know what u mean about that...

she told me more about her - her boyfriend is a cop n he has 3 kids all boys n some othe crap. n she told me go home talk with ur husband lets us know about the shift.

so i dont know if i screwed up my future at this place. i prob shudnt have talked to her

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

tomorrow were taking the minivan to be fixed to the guy in queens they wudnt say on the phone theyll build the deductible into the price. i aid fine well just go there. hopefully they will. thatll be a big help. were borrowing robs mothers car for me to use. im not so happy about that but what can i do? better than paying for a rental.

we also got a letter from honda financial that theyll give us 40k to buy or lease a new vehicle. i told rob lets get our fat asses in there tomorrow. lol.

i mean we can go see the car and check it out, think about it ec. look at the pilot, look at the crv, plus colors. its alot to think about. id like to get the new van in time for easter weekend..

kates party is that weekend and i think we cud afford the 1200 well need then..

then get the other car in 2 or 3 months. rob wants the crv but i kinda want the pilot still. the crv is super easy to drive too.. i dont think the pilots as easy.. but whatever. ill be happy with either.

im relieved theyll finance us again. i was good about paying them every month though. we only missed the payment 2 yrs ago when i was out of work n i paid it back long ago...

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

oh and i thought guys who like women w women are into that b/c to them it seems "gay" to see a guy naked or whatever... so if they look at two chicks .. well its just what they want to see...

as far as jen is concerned - shes the only girl id go gay for..

lol. which i told her and she said same here...

meanwhile the chairs still arent here n im hoping they come when rob gets home so i dont have to deal with the guys.

lets hope the chairs are perfect cuz i dont want to call these people again n i dont want to see them again.

I think we need a new post.

As far as men who like f/f stuff. That is what they say...that it is a homophobic thing, but it is not. It has much more to do with competition with another male and insecurity.

Rob's reaction to the situation with being right is not uncommon for a man who has stopped listening. Men are odd about respect and even if you did nothing to violate it, if he thinks it was well, men can be resistant. That is why I think talking with someone face to face would not be a bad thing as he needs to see that he cutting you off at the knees as far as communication. I mean think about it. You tried to give him an opening to talk and he just shot it down. He may come around in time, but why wait for that? I won't pester you any more about seeing someone, but I think it would really help.

Your day at work was a mess. And the S is broken on the computer? How the heck are you supposed to live with that? Isn't that potentially dangerous if your can't say something clearly? Give the patient -evella. What the? That is dangerous.

As far as your performance I am not sure that any one could be accurate in Dx in that situation. You called something that even the radiologists couldn't tell with two opinions and a ct. True, the lady could have died, but how do you see that your reaction was so inadequate? It seemed right on the money. There is a huge difference between being rational and following process than being perfect. You can't be the second and if you read your post you can see that there was considerable differences of opinion on the problem. Heck, I treated a man for a month for Major Depression before it was discovered that he was diabetic and that was the reason for the mood problem. It happens and you do your best. I see no fault or negligence in what you did. It was the best anyone could do with the information at hand.

Meredith is right. You do what is best for your family and you can see that Peter personalizes things. That is reason enough to run away from him. So what if they find the move to be a slight inconvenience? It is not their family and they will adapt. Plus you are not going to make this place your life long career are you? No go and do what you need to do and do not base things on their issues.

The educator is a control person. You didn't;t jump to her tune and she controlled it by walking away. Those people are just talk and blow. You will get the classes and if she walks away next time you are talking, call her on it. Those types hate any type of confrontation and even though she will be nasty she is afraid. I guarantee it. So, in this case it is perfectly okay to demand some flexibility. They will give it to you. This is about their needs as well as your own. And Meredith is impressing me more and more. She seems so logical and emotionally balanced. Almost normal! And there, at the place you work, that is pleasure to see. I sincerely ***** ***** will burn you. It is not in her interest to do so and in fact it is the opposite that will occur.I will bet (big time) that she will be even more open with you. (Plus she dates a cop and you relate to her thinking and family choices.) I do not believe you have anything to fear even with telling her about Dr a. And, she will find out soon enough about him.

I knew American Honda would finance you again...they need business and repeat business is the best kind. And with your jobs and work history which is steady there is no issue. The van will be an easy one. And I am sure that you will get the 1200 you need prior.

This will work out as well as the van repair. You may or may not get the 500 build into the repair but the repair will happen and the van will look great for the lease exchange. I am sorry to say that I am partial to the CRV, but the lease will be better on in the Pilot as it is a much slower seller and they are likely to cut a deal on the price and lease rate. So if you get one, get a loaded one. The Ex-L package with navigation is really nice.

How did the chairs go? Are they perfect? Steven

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

hi steve.

hows mom?

the s was broken on my personal triage computer. cuz my lifes a living hell threre. i thought to myself well it cud be worse. it cud be the "e".

i just had the scary thought that what if we had seen the pt n she went home n died? n they look back n say well who triaged? who checked the pt? who examined her? its a clusterf**k. and a huge lawsuit.

huge. she has 4 kids, and while shes a pretty goo drug addict, it shudnt be a medical error that kills her

anyway rob dropped the car n theyre like oh you can pay in installments if u like.. i dont like but rob left the car. to me id rather bring it to honda if im paying but wtf do i know?

i told him not to leave it but he did. he said what do you care were giving the car back. i sure hope so. i feel like strangling the guy who hit me.

to add more to all the insults to injuury our dryer isnt working right. rob took it apart n said oh the bent was blocked but its still with an error code even though its working..

he said hes going to look at it again..

and rob just told me that his mother asked if we could host easter b/c the peopl downstairs are hang their apt redone n th carpets all ripped up etc.. to me it may not be a problem like literally a month from now...

so rob said oh let me see, and he told me.. i said i may not even be off. i put in to be off, but its not guaranteed.. i told him to tell her fine..

i mean were borrowing their spare car (my fil doesnt drive anymore..)

and they watch the kids when we need them to.. so i mean i cant not help them when theyre asking. they offered to pay for the food, but of course ill have to do all the cooking and get the house ready. i was so super excited that i was having her bday (the day before..) at a place so we werent going to have to get the house cleaned up.

i guess thats not true now..

i told rob i was planning o having him take good friday off - i was planning on having the 1200 for the car for that day - literally - and i was going to get the car picked up so wed have it for the party and for easter.. i mean we could do it the next month, its just like.. why cant i do what i want to do? i mean she offered 500 to pay for all the food, but when i have parties at my house i dont put out chips and dip (she does) i make appetizers and buy premium meat etc.. i plan on making a ham with my famous ham glaze.. i guess well need two to be safe,

and i also told him, uh im getting the house cleaned. esp since im at the 4 week countdown. geez.

the chairs. well that didnt go as well as i had hoped.

the chairs are supposed to have light distressing. but the finish is on top of it so theres no exposed wood or chiping.

so theyre bring in the chairs and im looking at them. i note the small amt of distressing when one side chair comes and at the top on the back, theres a scrape. the bare woos is there and the finish is dark so it stands out very well. i tell the guy its chipped. he says it supposed to be like that. (2 hispanic guys - one who speaks more english than the other) so i say no. and explain. he brings it back out and brings me an armchair - its badly damaged with along the arm on the inside its all scraped off. then theres a long spot thats damaged going across the two arms as if something fell on it while in the truck. i tell the guy no way look at this. he looking and brings it back out. they bring me the other arm chair. its fine. then the guy comes back with another arm chair. im looking at it, and im like what? there appears to be no damage and im like... what? i put my hand on it and all the touchup paint comes off in my hands.. i say to the guy did u put touch up paint? theyre both not answering and] i say look im not taking these two chairs. theyre just standing there - they saw i had two small children and robs not due for 30 min or standing firm and theyre not moving. i repeat myself and say give me the form im supposed to sign. i write on the invoice about the 2 chairs, and tell them take them. they finally do, and now im trying to call the furniture store. i of course locked the door.

i tell the woman on the phone and i was practically shaking, i said to her that they tried to bullshit me and im not accepting chairs with touch up paint. i refuse steve. not after all this. and i said to rob - after teh fact no more deliveries when hes not here. i mean im vulnerable. if you think about it. ive never felt afraid here and i was indignant but they seemed angry and i was getting more and more nervous. also why cant i buy soemthing and it be ok? i mean im trying to figure out who ive pissed off in the universe that i cnt get any of my stuff not broken. i mean we delayed the chairs for a month for money reasons but ive waited so long for the chairs and now i paid for them all and dotn have them all. meanwhile the new shelf came and we took everything off and put it together and put it in and its fine. at least thats over. and now i may not possibly have the chairs for f**king easter. at the time i didnt know about it, and now im kind of kicking myself.

but i refuse to be bullshitted. and i told that to her. that was the most upsetting part to all of this. rob has no w ordered me that i cant order any more furniture from them anymore.. and i really liked the kitchen table i found there.

im supposed to be letting them know soon that im staying n nights or going to 11 to 11.

rob says it sounds like cold feet. but since i did the 2 days shifts.. well the place really gets going at around 11 soemtimes 10, sometimes 12, but i mean this past thursday (not the busiest day at the er btw.. mon is and thats nationwide..) we triaged 28 pts in 1 hr between 1 and 2 pm. so i think it might be smarter to stay on nights. what do you think?

Hi Liz...Mom is fair. She is really thin and has issues with memory and clarity from time to time. I need to get her on ensure or boost or something as she is not eating as much and has stomach issues. But at least she is mostly functional. I have a meeting this week to discuss possible discharge from the SNF. Scary that, as I worry of she can even deal with being alone despite the in home supports and all. I guess we will find out quickly. I hate to see her in a PCH.

It could be the "e" on the computer? So if you went to write me I would be St-v-n Ols-n. Yeah, that is

Remember when you went through that awful time with the licensing issue at your last job? You wondered from day to day what would happen? We talked a lot about not creating possible futures that do not exist yet...That applies here too. That woman could have died, yes...but if you start to think in this way it will cause you great difficulty and frustration. Truth: This will be forgotten in the history of your life. Take heart. I think your thinking on this, although a possibility is a high, high unlikely.

The accident you had sucked. The uninsured driver was not only at fault he caused you all great inconvenience and pain. I feel badly for you. I know what it is like to have to run around and spend money that you do not have. It is a feeling like wanting to strangle the guy. That makes total sense. You did nothing wrong but are paying for it like you did. And not even asking if they would roll the repair into the 500...that is not good either. Sorry about that. I too wish Rob had been more responsible on his end and asked the right questions and consulted with you before making a decision about a repair place.

Oh the ripped up carpet sounds like a lame excuse to me to not host Easter. just knew that somehow the relatives would get you stuck for the heavy labor. I have noticed that when something comes up that involves cleaning or heavy prep you get the bulk of it. That is frustrating and it is not like you can simply say I don't want to do it, cause you appear obligated from the loan of the car, etc. I have been here too. You are right. Start the clean up process now. It will take some time to get things in order and I can see that this is not a simple holiday for you as 500 of food and two hams and all the preparation; that is a great deal of work. You know. We got so tired of this cycle that we go away each Easter. It is worth it. Avoiding family is a great thing sometimes! And, you costs less to stay at a hotel and have them cook than all the effort of preparing the house and cooking.

The chairs! That is beyond simply having an order messed up. That is having fraud committed. These guys messed up and tried to get you to take their problems. It figures. I would be shaking angry too. And what will the furniture dealer say now? This is pathetic! I can't believe they would do this to you and try to put one over on you. These chairs are expensive and you went through a lot to get them. Plus you are alone and they are angry and you have two children with you. That is crazy. Feels like you need to have pepper spray just to accept a delivery! I am so concerned that this keeps happening. I have never seen such a debacle with furniture before. This is beyond incompetency. This is deception and fraud.

This place should give you the kitchen table for all the agony they caused you. I mean this consumer deception. I wonder how they would like it if you called a news station and spoke to the consumer advocate and said, Hey, you want a good story? It would serve them right.

I think the pattern of 11-11 is miserable and once you found out the facts, you now can make an educated choice. I think your choice is clear. Although 11-11 offers some benefits it has hidden costs that you do not need. Steven

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

hi steve,

ok i will give you medical advice here so you get it "stat". :)

for your mom tell them at the snf that you want her to be put on ensure complete and prostat.

medicare pays for it. (unless they just recently changed it..)

ok so ensure complete is a new formula for cancer patients. if you want to get it you can see if you can get it theu the pharmacy with a script for "wasting, failure to thrive" theres a dx code for medicare and a icd -9 code for it. go to abbott nutrition .com - thety make the highest quality nutrional suplements and thats why my kids are similac kids..

ok prostat is used for patients with muscle wasting same dx, its a shot glass size amount n may be more tolerated more often. also should be paid for by ins, prostat is made by prostat.

you can check amazon to start with, but check around the web..

im hoping these two supplents will improve her energy and quality of life.

oh and she can b prescribed megace also covereed by ins. and is used as an appetite stimulant cancer/ elderly/ hiv pts.

i hope this helps. im starting a new question..

Thanks Liz...I will look for these things as well as the new question. Steven