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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5823
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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My son's ex girlfriend, who is one of my best friends in

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My son's ex girlfriend, who is one of my best friends in regular contact during and after the c21 month relationship finished in September 2012, is being harrassed by my son. He is repeatedly telling her to cease contact with his/my family and friends they had in common as a former couple, most of whom have remained friends with her, which he dislikes intensely. In November 2012 and yesterday 9 February 2013, by phone and by Facebook Private message, she informed me of the aforementioned and other examples of my son's harassment. She said she needs to communicate by phone, which she says would be very long as there have been many examples of his harassment of her. What do you advise I do for her?
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.
You are being put in the middle of your son's former relationship through your loyalty to your son as well as your friendship with his ex. This is not an easy position to be in.
Your son's ex contacting you may mean she still sees you as a significant support in her life. But your changed position within the situation makes it hard for you to be of any help to her, other than a sounding board this one time. To do more would set you against your son, who is already unhappy with the situation. And by being in contact with his ex, your son may decide to harass her even more. That is not something you need.
You may want to tell your son's ex that although you appreciate that she is upset about what your son is doing, there is little you can do without creating a family rift. Suggest she seek out the advice of an attorney or someone who is neutral and has enough authority to address her concerns who can inform her of her rights in the situation. She needs to take action of some sort, but getting that from you is only going to get you in more conflict and nothing will be resolved by that. There is no way for you to be supportive and not seem like you are choosing sides here. So be kind to her but let her know gently that you need to be more neutral in this situation.
I hope this has helped you,
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