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I've had therapists since I was pretty and I'm now in my

I've had therapists since I...
I've had therapists since I was pretty young and I'm now in my 20's and I've been with the same therapist for over 2 years. Our relationship is sort of like she is a mother to me and she has even said things like she would love for me to be her daughter. I think she says this because she thinks I need it but I wasn't sure if this was how it's suppose to be...I mean, I pay her so in a way I feel like I'm paying for someone to be my mother but in my heart I know it's not real. I feel guilty even just saying all of that because I really do I think I love her like a mother and I don't want to betray her or what is happening in our relationship.
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Answered in 4 hours by:
2/2/2013
Dr. G.
Dr. G., Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1,530
Experience: Licensed Psychologist.
Verified
I would say your feelings are natural. It happens sometimes in therapy because of the close bond that occurs. With that said, if there are things you are feeling or want to say then you NEED to say them. If you can't be honest in therapy then forget about it in your personal life. I do have to question why you are in therapy for many years? Are you getting better? Afraid to quit?
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Customer reply replied 4 years ago

I first started seeing a therapist when I was diagnosed with ADHD, and I was having a lot of problems with impulse control and anger, mood sort of issues. Since then it has been on and off with therapy, something will happen and I will end up back with a therapist...so I do get better but also go backwards a lot. Now that you bring it up I am sort of afraid to leave my current therapist, she helps me with so many things. My actual mom treated me horribly growing up and I never really had a dad in my life, so yeah, I don't want to leave this therapist...I just wasnt sure if that was a good thing or not to feel so close or sort of dependent I guess you could say

Very good insight. Dependence vs. maintenance. I guess if you are not in regular ongoing therapy then that is ok. I would say that you might be relying on the therapist too much and you have to find the coping skills you have learned in therapy to apply to these problems that come up. Touching base with your therapist is not a bad idea. She would probably rather hear how you handled the situation instead of "what should I do." Maybe the two of you should discuss terminating therapy. Just to throw it our there and see what the two of you come up with. Tell your therapist about this dependence thing you are thinking about. Believe me, it makes for good discussion and is totally appropriate for therapy.
Dr. G.
Dr. G., Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1,530
Experience: Licensed Psychologist.
Verified
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Dr. G.
Dr. G.
Dr. G., Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1,530
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