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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5821
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Is it normal as a man to feel uncomfortable when other men

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Is it normal as a man to feel uncomfortable when other men show interest in your female partner? Weather this be approaching her in a nightclub, or asking for her number in the street etc. I have heard it is trust related, but i do trust my lady very much. But i still feel very uncomfortable with what other men are thinking and the idea of them spotting her out and taking the time to approach her upsets me. Is this feeling/reaction expected? Also what causes a person to feel this feeling if their partner does not reciprocate?

Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.
It is very normal to feel uncomfortable when other men approach your partner. Although you may trust her, other men showing interest threatens your position as her partner. It would actually be odd if you didn't react, since it is normal for anyone to ignore a threat to their own relationship. Plus you do not know how far these other men are willing to go, which alone puts you on alert and makes you feel threatened.
If you feel you can trust your partner, then it is ok to become uncomfortable but to try to let it go. You may ask your partner to start saying no or "I'm with someone" in response. Her reaction counts a lot. If she ignores these requests or responds with very clear boundaries, then it can help a lot to make you feel you can trust her.
You may also want to look at how secure you feel in yourself. Sometimes low self esteem can make you feel worse over a situation like this. However, that does not mean you are overreacting. Not at all. Just that making sure you feel secure in yourself would help you feel better.
As long as your partner is saying no to these requests, then what you are experiencing is a very normal reaction.
I hope this has helped you,
TherapistMarryAnn and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Brilliant answer, that is very clear and to the point! I appreciate it. If you dont mind me asking one more thing however?

What would we call this emotion? Is it jealousy?

Thank you!
It can be jealousy and/or self esteem issues. They are related and dealt with in the same way which is to work on increasing your self esteem. However, your feelings about your situation are not unusual at all. Jealousy can sometimes be extreme to the point where there are imagined scenarios in a relationship such as when a person is sure their partner is cheating but there is no evidence. But in your case, the threat is real and has occurred more than once, which creates a reaction for anyone who cares about their relationship even if there is trust.