My mother is an emotionally abusive alcoholic, her alcoholism progressed markedly over the last decade. She has also seemed to become delusional, often sending my sister and I text messages or voicemails (we don't pick up the phone anymore) about how terrible we are and how much she hates us, but otherwise making little sense, often referencing god, though she has never really been religious before.
I refuse to go home for any holidays at this point, there have been too many drunken episodes at all hours of the night involving police or ambulances transporting her to psychiatric wards. Multiple rehab centers have kicked her out for refusing to comply with rules, trying to sneak pills into facilities, or showing up to outpatient clinics drunk. She has lost her job and begun hoarding, draining the family of all resources.
My step father has moved in with my sister temporarily, but continues to enable her. On one hand he gets frustrated with her, on the other hand when we complain about her, he insists she is mentally ill and we have no compassion. Even though he does not stay at the house, anytime she calls because she needs something or wants money he will go give her what she wants. I'm not sure if it's her years of alcohol abuse
and meds that have made her more delusional or whether her sense of entitlement and increasing nastiness have stemmed from being "rewarded" my my step father for her bad behavior.
Although I do not want a relationship with her I do want her to get help, but I feel that will never happen as long as he caters to her. Is there any hope for her getting better as long as he continues this behavior? She is seeing a psychiatrist/psychologist, but because she doesn't put a real effort in, it isn't helping that much. The years that she was more involved in my life have also made it difficult for me to ever consider having a family since that kind of closeness now makes me feel squeamish. I have had counseling before, but still have this deeply ingrained in me (I'm almost 30 so marriage/family discussions are becoming more of a topic for discussion with my partner). Are there any methods I can use to get over these issues so that I can lead a more normal life, or is it likely even with counseling that it will be difficult to move on?