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Ryan LCSW, Mental Health
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  Individual and Family Therapist
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I have a 14 year old daughter who has for the last 3 weeks

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I have a 14 year old daughter who has for the last 3 weeks reacted extremely badly to the fact that her dad and I are splitting up. She is having hysterical tantrums including attacking me verbally and pysically. She blames me for the break up of the marriage. She is also destroying things by throwing them around etc. she is talking of killing herself. My dr is ringing me about the situation tomorrow but I am really worried!
Any thoughts please?
Thanks for your question.

I'm terribly sorry to hear about what you're going through with your daughter, and it sounds like a very scary situation. She is obviously very angry about you and her father splitting up, and certainly needs some help in handling her emotions. Right now if you are afraid that she may harm you, herself, or anyone else, you may have to consider calling the police. Of course that would be the last resort, but in some cases it is the only way to ensure everyone's safety. Since she is under 18, with the police involvement it may also be possible to have her involuntarily committed to the hospital until she is considered to be stabilized.

Individual and/or Family Counselling would be the most logical step, especially considering how extreme her behavior is right now. There are also medications that she doesn't have to take permanently, but would help her to get her emotions more under control in the short term. If you are having troubling figuring out where to start, the easiest first step would be to set up an appointment with a psychiatrist so that she can have a proper evaluation done. That will help you get some appropriate recommendations, and figure out the best way to proceed from that point. Your doctor should also be aware of the best local resources for these types of problems, so your discussion with them should prove to be helpful.

If your daughter has never otherwise been this way, she will eventually pull through it. This is obviously a time of crisis in her life, and she may feel betrayed or hurt by the people who have supported her the most. It's not uncommon for that to translate into some scary or reckless behavior, and the circumstances do make it difficult for you personally to get through to her. The hope is that getting her set up with some proper supplementary support will help her to resolve these issue, get back to trusting her parents, and being herself again.

I definitely wish the you the best with all of this. If there is anything else I can do to help please let me know.

Ryan LCSW and 3 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Thank you for the message. Since communicating she has made cuts on her wrists. Do you think she has a pyscological problem or do you think this is just a reaction to a situation?
Many thanks

Hi Dawn, cutting is definitely a sign that something is wrong, and is often brought on be depression. Most likely if your daughter was otherwise fine prior to you and your husband splitting up, it is a reaction to that, and that she will eventually recover to her normal self again. This is still a psychological problem that she is having that needs to be taken seriously and treated properly, but in that case it would be a temporary one. Let me know if there's anything else I can do to help. Hang in there,